ATM machines. Amazing devices. But, even after all these years, I still view them with distrust. All the more since the unthinkable happened.
On a lazy Saturday evening last summer, I stood at the local ATM machine to make a deposit in my personal account. I inserted two checks totaling what, to me, is a significant amount of money. As I waited for the machine to verify that I had followed my end of the bargain :-), I noticed that all was not well. The ATM was taking a bit too long to respond. Then, horror of horrors!
“ERROR” appeared on the screen.
Something had gone wonky with the entire automated process. The checks were gone and no deposit was credited to my account. I fully anticipated that giving the machine my hard-won checks, I would have money present in my account in short order (even if not immediately).
After a conversation with a national customer service line representative and two visits to the bank, there was still no money posted to my account. In time, however, the deposit did show up.
I am not in the habit of waiting for much of anything. If I make a sacrifice of some sort, then this is especially true… I want a return on it …YESTERDAY! The ATM fiasco just illustrated this in a practical way.
Isn’t the same true for most of us in our quest to discover our “natural, God-given size?” In fact, this tendency may rush us right past what it will take to even make the changes. Or, assuming, we can “clean” the “outside of the cup,” or “constrain” our outer behavior, we may release weight, but the first trial that hits, we revert back to old behaviors and we are off on that downward slide once again.
What if we were to take the slow way…the reliable way? What if this struggle with food, our bodies, eating, isn’t so much about our size, but about our souls? What if God wants us to learn something we can learn no other way? What if he wants us to learn how desperately we need him? What if he wants us to learn the power of training our minds to think differently?
When you invest your time in renewing your mind, in training yourself to think truthfully, even before you are tempted to eat outside of your boundaries, you can actually gain a new mindset that can activate at just the right moment—say when you are most tempted to give in to desire eating! This does take extra time, yes. Like giving up my hard-earned checks to the ATM, I want instant gratification for a sacrifice. There aren’t many things we want to lose other than weight and there aren’t many things we are willing to give up, but we have to be willing to give up…to invest some of our time if we want to learn to think differently about food, about God, about ourselves, about our bodies, about this process.
First thing in the morning, when I am fresh, committed, resolved…it is then that I take the time to renew my mind, to carve out that time to go over in my mind what is true. I select from one of the many tools that I have shared here at the blog or from Barb Raveling’s website. I don’t need to do them all. I don’t need to take much time, even, but doing something makes all the difference in the world. Taking time to think, ponder, speak out loud such thoughts as these will be rewarding..like making an investment in a future return:
“Eating 0 to 5 is richly rewarding.”
“Eating according to these boundaries for me allows me freedom to enjoy all foods within moderation.”
“It is much better to live by design rather than by desire.”
“If I make sacrifices to live according to my boundaries starting now, life will be less chaotic, more peaceful and my body more healthy two months from now.”
As you begin to invest time in telling yourself the truth, in writing out these truths, in designing your truth cards, listening to encouraging Sound Cloud files or creating your own :-), you will find that in the moment of temptation, these are the thoughts that will come into your mind to strengthen you! When you just finished eating a wonderful dinner 0 to 5 and your high school daughter brings in a freshly baked plate of cookies that she made at a friend’s, the thoughts that you invested time thinking about will bathe your mind, enabling you to stand strong in the face of temptation.
Imagine, you are staring down a warm chocolate chip cookie (or four) and the thoughts that hit your mind are, “How many cookies will it really take to satisfy me right now?” or “Will I break a boundary right now if I eat this? What will I gain if I break my boundary right now? What will I lose? What will life look like (inside and out) if I practice *now* living according to this boundary? Is it a good boundary? How will what I do in this moment affect the larger picture? What choice do I really want to make right now?”
If I have spent time renewing my mind once or, even, twice a day, these are the thoughts that come to mind in those weaker moments, bringing with them life and strength infusing power to honor my body, my boundaries, and my God!
I can’t recommend enough the value of taking one set of questions from Barb Raveling’s book I Deserve a Donut and Other Likes That Make You Want To Eat (or her iPhone app) each day…preferably close to the time of day when you are most prone to struggle (I do this at 5pm each day in preparation for the temptation I have to engage in evening eating), and journal the answers. I have found that, for me, just thinking about the questions isn’t enough. I need to sit down and actually grapple with the questions a bit. Seeing my answers in print is really helpful. I do this even when I am not tempted. (Not many of us want to sit down and journal when we are being tempted.)
The time invested is SO worth it. In fact, I have found the investment worth some other sacrifices. I now set my alarm to wake me up earlier, giving me plenty of time in the morning to be able to renew my mind. It is like putting a deposit in an ATM (one that WORKS, though!). I know that if I put that time in, it will come back with lots of additional benefits.
How About You?
If you haven’t seen the consistency in your life with practicing the Thin Within principles or maintaining your godly boundaries of eating between hunger and satisfaction, are you willing to consider the possibility that you need to change things up? That it might be beneficial to begin now to invest some time (maybe even lose a little sleep…even 15 minutes!) in training your mind to be alert and ready for action? What are you willing to start doing today? If doing this every day is too much, you might want to consider 4x a week to start with. You might be surprised and actually enjoy it! 🙂 I know you will be pleased with the way it impacts your thinking!
When you read this, my sister…my naturally thin sister…will be visiting with me. This year, I have had the opportunity to enjoy her company more than in the previous ten years combined! I have no doubt that the visit that I have with her for Christmas will be filled with yet more lessons of what it is like to be an intuitive eater like her.
Whenever I am with Andrea, I learn something about how a naturally thin eater navigates the waters that are murky and challenging for me.
Some of the things I have learned from her are:
1.) A naturally thin eater doesn’t use a bathroom scale. Andrea has never owned a bathroom scale, yet when she goes to the doctor she is the same weight as she was 45 years ago (NO JOKE!).
vs. me…how many years did I struggle with letting an ever-changing number—if not on the bathroom scale then a pants size—determine my value, worth, “success?”
2.) A naturally thin eater doesn’t have “off limits” foods. Andrea typically likes to eat whole foods and vegetarian because of her conscience. She isn’t bound to rigid dieting laws, however. She bends and flexes according to her conscience in the moment. She and I have enjoyed decadent Mexican food, homemade pizza with lots of toppings, cheesecake, homemade ice cream sandwiches, hot fudge sundaes, and the list goes on and on.
vs. me…I often feel like I need to make some foods off-limits because I fear losing control. I want to grow up to be like Big Sister!
3.) There is virtually nothing that a naturally thin eater won’t taste and enjoy.
vs. me…I seem to feel like I “need” so much more than a “taste” of the foods I enjoy. I am eager to grow up in this respect, too.
4.) A naturally thin eater may choose not to have some foods in her house. This may seem to be contrary to item 2, but while she may not have these items in her house by way of routine, she can, on occasion, if she chooses. She just rarely chooses. To be honest, this one surprised me, but apparently, my sister has, over the years, just decided there are some foods she doesn’t need to have access to freely. She doesn’t seem to miss those foods when they aren’t in her house. She doesn’t buy them and really never has. That said, she had a king-size, organic, dark chocolate raspberry truffle candy bar in her cabinet last time I visited. She suckshalf a chocolate rectangle…and makes the chocolate bar last for a couple of weeks or longer!
vs. me…If I have a chocolate bar in my house, I typically won’t stay out of it anytime I am hungry. It is likely to be gone within a day or two—at the most three. The last time I came back from my sisters, though, she gave me a chocolate bar of my own to “practice” her “techniques” with :-). It lasted 10 days!!! It is amazing how satisfying it was to eat it that slow. I was able to be grateful and mindful.
5.) Meal preparation is a big event for the naturally thin eater. I compared notes with my daughter on this one and it is true in her experience as well—Andrea does everything related to food (even shopping!) with care, focus, and time. She is mindful when preparing coffee, when peeling and cutting fruit, when stirring the yogurt, when toasting the bread. Everything is done with great intentionality. The eating of the meal is only part of the enjoyment for her. She truly takes a lot of time to prepare the food…even food that we wouldn’t ordinarily think would require that sort of time.
vs. me…I can’t prepare the food fast enough when I am hungry!
6.) It could go without saying, but a naturally thin eater eats very slowly. My big sister takes a bite of something and savors it just like the half-rectangle of dark chocolate I mentioned previously. I can say with relative confidence that she does this with all the food she consumes.
vs. me…I have always claimed to be a “texture” eater…thus the reason why I chew chocolate and, yes, even ice cream! But what is TRUE? What is TRUE is that a great deal of enjoyment can come by slowing down and sucking on the chocolate (for instance) or ice cream. By just allowing the entire experience to take a bit more time. 🙂
7.) A naturally thin eater removes the emotion from pre-meal preparation anticipation. Actually, I am not even sure how to categorize what I am talking about here. While Andrea enjoys food tremendously, she nevertheless refers to meals as “feedings.” She has asked me when I stay with her: “When do you want our next feeding to be?” I have given this some careful consideration and there is something about the term “feeding” that reduces the emotion behind anticipating a meal. What I mean is when I am hungry and actually preparing the meal, the emotions and joy are allowed to flow, but beforehand, referring to the next meal as a “feeding” seems to remove the emotion from the event, thus making it less about lust 🙂 and more about the needs of my body, if that makes sense. I am not as likely to pre-empt hunger. Maybe it is because I think of a “feeding” as something that is done for animals who require certain nutrients…not for recreational enjoyment of food! I know we aren’t animals, certainly, but I do think the term is helpful. When I think of “my next feeding,” I think in terms of what my body needs, instead of what my taste buds want.
vs. me…I sometimes get excited thinking about the next meal or the next time I get to eat. Sometimes, then I will eat before my body needs food. Using Andrea’s term of “feeding,” removes some of the super-charge from the anticipation.
8.) A naturally thin eater sometimes overeats, but doesn’t get upset about it. It’s true! When I asked Andrea about the quantity I have seen her pack away on rare occasion 🙂 she reminds me that she doesn’t eat like that very often. When she does, she doesn’t think much about it after the fact. She waits until she is hungry again and eats her normal portion size.
vs. me…I tend to beat myself up when I overeat. Or, in the past, I have tried to exercise to make up for overeating.
9.) A naturally thin eater eats sitting down at a table. Andrea mentioned this to me during one of my recent visits. Although this is definitely one of the Keys to Conscious Eating, I nevertheless found it strangely reassuring that even a naturally thin eater sits for any “feeding” :-). It isn’t just a “rule” for me. It is wisdom. People, like my sister, who I admire for the way that food doesn’t own them, just take a load off to enjoy their food.
vs. me…I have been known to walk through the kitchen and mindlessly grab something. It seems like when I eat something standing up, it is likely that I am breaking my 0 to 5 boundary. Like it doesn’t count when I eat it standing! Sitting down, I own up to the moment being an eating occasion…even if it just a cookie. By sitting down, I slow down, am mindful, and enjoy the experience more. I am less likely to pre-empt hunger if I uphold this secondary boundary!
10.) Naturally thin eaters keep temptations that are present in their home wrapped up and put away out of sight. One of the reasons why the chocolate bar that Andrea gave me lasted so long was because I followed her advice…I wrapped it up and put it out of sight.
vs. me… In the past, I often left foods like cookies, brownies, etc, on the counter. The truth is, if it sits on the counter, I am likely to be reminded of it even when I am not hungry. Then it becomes more of a battle for me than it needs to be.
11.) Naturally thin eaters exercise for enjoyment and general feel-good health benefits, rather than out of fear. Andrea does Yoga and walks around her neighborhood. She does so because she enjoys it.
vs. me…over the years at various times, I have exercised out of fear or to make up for what I have overeaten!
How About You?
Can you adopt any of these practices? Do you have a naturally thin relative or friend? What other practices have you noticed are a part of their life?
Or is my life like this cluttered coffee table…intended to display you–to show you off–to demonstrate that I honor you, but so many things are allowed in that your face is obscured?
Have I welcomed you?
Do I prepare a place for you that you might live freely, unhindered?What, in my life, is crowding you, Lord?
Is it my desire for my physical body to be healthy? Have I taken that too far? Not far enough? Am I owned by food? Or, am I owned by a drive not to be owned by food?
Is it my love for my husband and the “Happily Ever After” I dreamed to enjoy once our nest was empty?
Is it my children and the importance I place on what they choose to do with their futures?
Have I given laughter, joy and all the things you have created and truly want for me, too great a place of prominence?
Have I exalted the gifts rather than the Giver?
I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. ~ Ephesians 3:16-17a
I choose to make room for you today, Lord. By faith, I choose to welcome you to dwell in my heart. I choose to still my soul, like a weaned child with it’s mother (Psalm 131). Please wean me of anything in this world that distracts me from a passion for you. I am so grateful, Lord, that one thing I know…I need you so much that my life is a living testimonial of your grace, love and mercy. Thank you. Like the song says, Lord, “Be born again in me, today.” I will never NOT need the gospel preached to my soul.
Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us. Matthew 1:23
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made.In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it. John 1:1-5
Jesus. There is no other name quite like it. He is God with us. He is the Alpha and the Omega–the beginning and the end. He is the Word of God. He came to be with us, to live among us, to save us, to free us, to deliver us. He is Emmanuel.
Emmanuel: God with us.
Think on that. Really think on that. He chose to come to live among us. Did you know that during the 33 years that Christ lived on the earth that there was “peace on earth?” There were no wars. There was peace. I think that is so beautiful. And I relate that to my heart: when I am in Christ and Christ is in me, I have peace. When I am in the Word (Christ is the Word), I have peace. He is with me. He is with us.
Jesus. The Son of God. Our Deliverer. Our Savior. Our peace.
We know that the true meaning of Christmas is Christ. It’s to celebrate His birth, that He was sent to the world as the Father’s greatest gift, so that ‘whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life’ (John 3:16). And we take hold of that gift and unwrap it when we acknowledge and accept Christ as our savior and ask Him to forgive us of our sin.
But there’s more to the gift. There’s healing, freedom, comfort, beauty, deliverance, peace, joy, love, and the list goes on and on. Every single aspect of our life is touched by Christ’s love, by the Father’s love. All we have to do is accept that gift and reach into that wellspring of life of God’s Word.
When I thought of writing this post, I thought about how much the Lord has done in my life this year in regards to eating and how I think about food. I’ve thought about the amazing transformation that has taken place in my heart and mind–which has also become evident in my life and eating. And I know I’ve talked so much about this, but I attribute that to being in His Word and Him being so faithful to watch over His Word to perform it. It was faith in action. I believed what God said (took a little while at first), but after awhile His Words became so real in my heart and then I saw the evidence of that in my life.
It says in John 1 that Christ is the Word, and the Word (Christ) is life. His Word is a wellspring of life. Christ is our life. He is the reason we truly live. I am seeing that I am not truly living unless I have Christ as the Lord of my life. He is the One I fix my eyes upon. He is my strength. I lean upon Him.
And so that means I lean upon Him when it comes to my eating habits. And one of the ways I do that is by being in His word. This isn’t a task I cross of my “to-do” list each day. This is an essential part of my daily walk with Him. Somewhere along the way I gave food, weight, and body image a place in my life that God never meant it to be, but through Christ I have overcome and continue on this journey of finding peace and satisfaction in this area.
And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. John 8:32
So then faithcomesbyhearing, and hearingby the word of God. Romans 10:17
One of the ways He speaks to us is through His Word. And when we read the Word, the Holy Spirit brings that word back to our remembrance. And in a sense, His Word is in us. Emmanuel: God with us. He may not be physically right here with us that we can reach out and physically touch Him, but when we read His Word, He touches our hearts, minds, and souls. He breathes His life into us. This is so beautiful!
I’m so thankful the Father sent His Son. Jesus is the BEST gift of all!
How about you?
How can you embrace that gift (Jesus) this Christmas and every day of your life? Do you look at spending time with God as a “have to” or a “get to”? He wants to be with you: have you invited Him into your life? And if you have invited Him into your life, have you invited Him into the area of eating? He wants to be with you! He is Emmanuel.
Break free from dieting and compulsive exercise! God never intended for food to torment us or for us to spend two hours on the elliptical making up for what we ate earlier in the day. Instead, he longs for us to experience his peace, joy, and rest in the presence of food. He longs for us to move our bodies out of expressions of joy and worship…because it feels good to do so! God invites us to shake off the shackles of fear that keep us a slave to exercise to make up for what we eat.
What IS Thin Within? How can you start right now, with no money invested, to shed extra weight and to walk in the freedom that is yours?
A free online class will begin January 6th, 2014. Please join us! The only thing you will need for it is a Thin Within workbook, but even if you don’t have one of those, please join us anyhow! (You can get a free sample of one week’s worth of material at this link.) The webinars will encourage you and there will be new videos posted here to the blog each week as well.
This post outlines the details for how you can get involved in the class that starts January 6th and runs through April 7th.
If you want to see the emails that have been sent to the class list already, the first one, sent on December 3, is here. The second, sent on December 16, is here.
What do you have to lose other than obsession with counting and exercise? With Thin Within, we eat what we enjoy in moderation. We become mindful of what our bodies need to operate at their best. We exercise because we enjoy doing so and relish the health benefits. We no longer live in fear! Sound good to you? Come on along!
How About You?
Want to join us for the workbook study? Subscribe to the email list by clicking here.
What questions would you like answered in our Orientation Webinar? Use the comments section here to respond. I look forward to hearing from you. 🙂
Hi, folks. What questions do you have that I can respond to here at the blog or in the Orientation class on January 6th? Please post them here and I will try to address them here and/or during our webinar in a couple of weeks.
