How’d you do? Did you maintain your weight during the holidays? Or perhaps you’re like most Americans who’s number one goal this year is to lose weight. Before you hit the treadmill or eat that cottage cheese, you might want to weigh your heart.
In my last Thin Within blog, I challenged myself to avoid using the holidays as an excuse to binge. For the most part, I behaved myself. I managed to get through December with minimum damage. And I blame those two pounds on the Almond Joys that Santa slipped into my stocking.
Then our family went to Hawaii for a week-long vacation and my resolve vanished like smoke up a chimney. Christmas cookies didn’t tempt me like the smorgasbord of food on the tropical island. Sushi, Japanese noodles, grilled Salmon, pineapples, coconut. My appetite (and waist line) grew larger with each meal.
Barb Raveling’s app, “I Deserve A Doughnut,” would mysteriously appear on my phone like a wagging finger. Talk about a killjoy. Who needed self discipline and the means to escape temptation while I was munching in paradise? Then again, what’s the point of having her app if I refuse to use it when I need it most?
My muumuu disguised the consequences of eating more than normal. Plus, I’d had the foresight to wear stretch pants while I traveled on the plane. When I returned home, the bathroom scales confirmed what my heart feared. I’d gained substantial weight. No more skinny jeans.
Now, I don’t expect sympathy from readers. Sunbathing in Hawaii during winter might even invite contempt. But I wanted to share my recent failure which led to this eye-opening lesson: my heart’s best intention is no match when faced with Something I Really Want.
And that desire to have what I wanted—regardless of the consequences—weighed heavily on my heart when I read, “Every man’s way is right in his own eyes, But the LORD weighs the hearts” (Proverbs 21:2).
When I’m obsessed with my body or food such as…
Counting calories—or not—because I’m on vacation.
Worrying about my weight because I don’t want to look “fat” in a thin-conscious culture.
Justifying my eating habits when I’m stressed or my ego’s bruised.
Searching “Yelp” for the best place to eat.
Resolving—again—to eat healthy and exercise this year.
When I focus on those things, I tend to forget that God isn’t concerned with my outward appearance. He weighs the heart which includes my thoughts, intentions, and attitudes.
Yes, I need to respect my body which “is the temple of the Holy Spirit” (1 Cor. 6:19). But I can’t discount my heart because the Bible says:
“The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?” (Jeremiah 17:9)
“For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all sexual immorality, theft, lying, and slander.” (Matthew 15:19)
Thankfully, when I put my faith in Christ, His blood (not my good behavior) made my heart righteous. However, if I want a healthy heartthat wants what God wants, thenmeeting with Himmust be a priority.
I realize “being still” may seem as difficult as doing tummy crunches, but spending time with the Lord—in His Word and prayer—is how the Spirit of God softens, nourishes, and speaks to the heart. And I can’t think of a better New Year’s resolution than asking God to weigh my heart and change me from the inside out.
When I was in high school, my mom put me on a diet. I was supposed to drink nasty tasting shakes for breakfast and lunch and then eat a full meal when I got home from school, which was a full course meal, including things that I could never manage to stomach. I don’t know if my mom thought I *wanted* to diet or what. I know that, in my memory, I cooperated…even to the point of trying to stomach eating lettuce covered with oil and vinegar. Now, just the thought makes me gag. I can’t stand lettuce and I can actually smell it if it is in food that I order at a restaurant (always requesting NO lettuce).
I was an athlete, but would often cut school to go to my best friend’s–my “eating buddy’s”–house where we often made a pan of brownies and then ate the evidence that we had been home when we were supposed to be at school. Not one crumb of the brownies would be left.
What began in junior high as a response to molestation by a family member developed into a full-blown coping mechanism–a refuge, a comfort, a recreational activity, too! Because I was involved in sports, I often kept ahead of too much extra weight. I do remember weighing myself quite a bit. I remember the numbers, too. I also remember the numbers on the scale during all the diets I went on over the years. I charted my weight on a graph on the wall during one season. Then, there were the diet program weigh-ins. So, I would have NO problem pulling a number out of my mind that seems “reasonable” for what my “natural, God-given size” would be.
BUT…
…that would miss the point…
GOD-given, means that it is Godgiven.
It doesn’t mean that Heidi has to grab a hold of it and declare “HERE! This is it! When I reach this number I will have arrived!”
In fact, I distinctly remember in 2007, after I lost all the extra weight I carried having actually gone too far so that I could have the accolade of losing ONE HUNDRED pounds, I still hated my rear end…my hips. You see, even when I was really *thin*…I hated my body. Freedom clearly wasn’t in a number for me! There was something in my HEAD that needed to change. I needed to “drop the weight” of a mental image of the ideal body.
So now, I see that “natural, God-given size” means, God has in mind the way my body, fearfully and wonderfully made, hand-crafted by him, will look or be. And it definitely isn’t what this world uses as a standard for beauty. You know what? I think I am beginning (after all this time) not to care what the world says. I want what GOD wants for me. There is FREEDOM there!
And “Natural” means natural.
I don’t have to be fearful about it. It just is. Like naturally curly hair. Or a natural blond. Nothing added. It just is.
Notice Thin Within doesn’t promise you that you will be a “natural, God-given weight.”
In fact, what we really want to do–dare I be so bold–is get rid of the bathroomscale. Instead, focus on getting to know your body and the God-given hunger scale: hunger and satisfaction, 0 and 5. Let’s stand on God’s promises instead of the bathroom scale and the ever-elusive happiness that joy is found in a number. You are MORE than a number!
As you commit (and commit again and again) to eating 0 to 5 or between the parameters of hunger and satisfaction, you will not need any man-made device to tell you if you are succeeding. Success is not defined by the world or by your past. It is defined by God.
Your natural, God-given size is, by definition, the size you land on when you eat according to the way He made your body. Eating according to the cues of hunger and satisfaction will cause you to land on and maintain your God-given size.
This is GREAT news!!!
Aren’t we tired of pursuing a number on the bathroom scale?! Then, assuming we ever land on that number, we live in fear that we won’t *stay* at that number?! That is definitely NOT freedom!
Here is a sound file about this very thing. I hope it is helpful! Again, feel free to download it.
Would it be helpful to you to get off the bathroom scale–to give it away or at least to have a friend or family member hide it for a month (or two or three)? Can you recommit to obeying the God-given signals of the hunger scale–0 and 5–or physical hunger and satisfaction? Will you trust him that he will bring you to the size that you want to be?
What will you stand on? 🙂 Here is a bonus! Good ol’ country rendering of “Standing on the Promises of God!”
Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.
Psalm 16:5-6
Boundaries…we have been talking about them since our orientation week. They are fundamental to a godly life and eating is no exception. Eating without boundaries gets us to places we don’t want to go! Eating within the boundaries of hunger and satisfaction is a wonderful goal for us, honoring our body’s requirements and the way our amazing God has created us. Truly, this is a wonderful, pleasant boundary. No more diets! No more restriction! No more obsession! It is my hope that you are experiencing the blessing of living within God’s boundaries for your life.
This week’s video is so special to me! I am definitely eager to feature other people in the videos that we supply to encourage you on your journey. Last week, I traveled with my husband to the Chicago area where I was able to meet up with Cathy Maher, a new facilitator of Thin Within classes online. She let me twist her arm into being in this week’s video with me! Cathy is still taking sign-ups for her Workbook #1 online study, so hurry over to the sign-up page and click the link to register!
There are more video questions than normal this week. The reason for that is that Cathy is a fount of wisdom, knowledge, ideas, and inspiration. I want to be sure to “milk” our video interview for all we possibly can. If it seems like too much, then just do what you can.
Video Questions:
1. What is Cathy’s definition of a boundary? (0:43)
2. How do you identify with Cathy’s definition? What is the parameter that you have for yourself with regard to your eating?
3. Cathy referenced 2 Timothy 1:7 at 1:15. Look this up in your bible and evaluate the place that fear, power, love and a sound mind might have in your Thin Within journey.
4. From 1:33 to 1:45 Cathy mentions some reasons that we may have trouble with “finding” our 5 boundary lines. What are some of the reasons she describes? Are any of these possibly keeping you from “finding” 5?
5. What does Cathy suggest will make the difference for us to be able to recognize our “5?” (1:50-1:59)
6. What role does evening eating have in your difficulties with staying within the godly boundaries of 0 and 5 for your eating? What would happen if you created a secondary boundary of not eating after dinner unless you had a very insistent “0?”
7. How can using Truth Cards assist you in accepting the truth of your identity and help you no longer to break your 0 and 5 boundaries?
8. Cathy’s 0 to 5 boundary has had to shift, as she has discovered she has food sensitivities. What has helped her the most? (4:46)
9. At 5:17 Cathy speaks about her struggle with condemnation and how she has broken free from it. Can you identify with what she shares? How would adopting a personal boundary about rejecting condemning thoughts help you?
10. At 6:12 to 7:53, Cathy mentions a relatively new boundary for her regarding the scale. How can you identify with what she shares? Should you adopt a boundary relative to the bathroom scale? How might that actually serve your boundary of eating within 0 and 5? How has using the bathroom scale helped you? How has it hurt you?
11. At 8:48 to 8:55 Cathy says she had to redefine what a good evening is about, what time with her husband was about. How can you change the definition of what a good evening is for you to honor your godly eating boundaries? How can you change what it means to bond with your loved ones and friends to honor your godly eating boundaries?
12. One of Cathy’s earliest boundaries (she has released 30 pounds so far!) was her body would belong to God. In fact, she asserts at 10:52 that it is a “necessary boundary to do this program.” If you struggle consistently with respecting your godly boundaries, perhaps this is the most fundamental boundary that you could establish that might help. What are your thoughts about this? Your fears? Your concerns?
13. Cathy shares some tips at the end of the video. The first is to “Keep it Simple.” How might you apply this tip from Cathy? The second is to “Make it Personal.” What changes could you make to approach Thin Within in a more personal way, welcoming God’s Truth to come deeply into your own heart uniquely?
14. Another tip Cathy shares is to pray for discernment and pray for a willing spirit. Can you carve this into your time with the Lord each day, to include a request for discernment and willingness?
15. Cathy’s final tip is to “Go Easy.” What are ways that you are too hard on yourself? What can you do instead? Even if you have not lost weight in a week’s time, what other changes might you take note of? (12:23)
16. At 12:34 we dialog a bit about a boundary of “What will I call progress?” This is where I refuse to use numbers or weights or sizes to evaluate our progress given that God is doing so much more in our lives than just weight/size. What are some of the things in your life that God has been doing?
Renewing the Mind – Pressing On
1. What is true about failure? Take some time to generate a list of what is TRUE about “failure” on this journey…and tell yourself the truth. If you need help with this, just ask. Failure is NOT an undertaker, but is one of the best teachers we have going!
2. If you haven’t started using Barb’s book or iTunes app yet, now is the time! Make the final 4 weeks of this class your best yet by using her material to renew your mind.
Pick One (book or workbook):
Trade Book Assignment – To Be Completed by March 10th
Here is the Thin Within Book Study Guide Week 9. Feel free to discuss it at our Facebook group or here! THIS WEEK, we will have a drawing for one of Barb’s books. The comments made last week and those made this week … all names will be put in a drawing to win either Taste for Truth or I Deserve a Donut and Other Lies That Make You Eat! Comment on this blog post or any others this week or last in order to be put in the drawing. You can enter more than once, too. 🙂
Workbook Assignment – To Be Completed by March 10th.
1. Read, highlight, mark 🙂 Lesson 9,Boundaries, on pages D3 – D8 or listen to it or download it from Sound Cloud. Discuss it here in the comments section below this post or at our Class Facebook Group.
2. Complete the exercises for Lesson 9 on pages D10 – D16. Don’t worry if you are behind. Just do what you can of this week’s material. Next Monday before the webinar, respond to the Review questions on page D17 or even better–do so at our Facebook discussion group.
3. List 10 attributes of God that have ministered the most to your heart. Have a praise fest, saying back to Him these attributes and thanking him for how they have ministered to you. Share here at the blog how this impacts you.
4. Use the entries for Day 57 through Day 63 in the Temple Tool Kit. All the tools have been introduced to you now. Remember, only use them if God leads you to do so. If you have the freedom, try a new one this week. Don’t forget that the Thin Within app includes all the Sound Cloud files, YouTube videos, and the tools!
5. Memorize 1 Corinthians 6:12. Personalize it and add it to your truth cards.
One of the things I love about Barb Raveling’s book is how she helps us to see that boundaries are really what this is all about. Will we live according to the boundaries that God has so lovingly offered us? Or will we blow through our boundaries again and again? Do you need to take time to sit with the Lord and evaluate if 0 to 5 eating (between hunger and satisfaction) is something that you are convicted are from God for you? If you know that this is your primary boundary then creating secondary boundaries to help support you in your pursuit of honoring this godly boundary seems no where near so laborious. It becomes a joy to submit to the Lord in this way!
When you read this, my sister…my naturally thin sister…will be visiting with me. This year, I have had the opportunity to enjoy her company more than in the previous ten years combined! I have no doubt that the visit that I have with her for Christmas will be filled with yet more lessons of what it is like to be an intuitive eater like her.
Whenever I am with Andrea, I learn something about how a naturally thin eater navigates the waters that are murky and challenging for me.
Some of the things I have learned from her are:
1.) A naturally thin eater doesn’t use a bathroom scale. Andrea has never owned a bathroom scale, yet when she goes to the doctor she is the same weight as she was 45 years ago (NO JOKE!).
vs. me…how many years did I struggle with letting an ever-changing number—if not on the bathroom scale then a pants size—determine my value, worth, “success?”
2.) A naturally thin eater doesn’t have “off limits” foods. Andrea typically likes to eat whole foods and vegetarian because of her conscience. She isn’t bound to rigid dieting laws, however. She bends and flexes according to her conscience in the moment. She and I have enjoyed decadent Mexican food, homemade pizza with lots of toppings, cheesecake, homemade ice cream sandwiches, hot fudge sundaes, and the list goes on and on.
vs. me…I often feel like I need to make some foods off-limits because I fear losing control. I want to grow up to be like Big Sister!
3.) There is virtually nothing that a naturally thin eater won’t taste and enjoy.
vs. me…I seem to feel like I “need” so much more than a “taste” of the foods I enjoy. I am eager to grow up in this respect, too.
4.) A naturally thin eater may choose not to have some foods in her house. This may seem to be contrary to item 2, but while she may not have these items in her house by way of routine, she can, on occasion, if she chooses. She just rarely chooses. To be honest, this one surprised me, but apparently, my sister has, over the years, just decided there are some foods she doesn’t need to have access to freely. She doesn’t seem to miss those foods when they aren’t in her house. She doesn’t buy them and really never has. That said, she had a king-size, organic, dark chocolate raspberry truffle candy bar in her cabinet last time I visited. She suckshalf a chocolate rectangle…and makes the chocolate bar last for a couple of weeks or longer!
vs. me…If I have a chocolate bar in my house, I typically won’t stay out of it anytime I am hungry. It is likely to be gone within a day or two—at the most three. The last time I came back from my sisters, though, she gave me a chocolate bar of my own to “practice” her “techniques” with :-). It lasted 10 days!!! It is amazing how satisfying it was to eat it that slow. I was able to be grateful and mindful.
5.) Meal preparation is a big event for the naturally thin eater. I compared notes with my daughter on this one and it is true in her experience as well—Andrea does everything related to food (even shopping!) with care, focus, and time. She is mindful when preparing coffee, when peeling and cutting fruit, when stirring the yogurt, when toasting the bread. Everything is done with great intentionality. The eating of the meal is only part of the enjoyment for her. She truly takes a lot of time to prepare the food…even food that we wouldn’t ordinarily think would require that sort of time.
vs. me…I can’t prepare the food fast enough when I am hungry!
6.) It could go without saying, but a naturally thin eater eats very slowly. My big sister takes a bite of something and savors it just like the half-rectangle of dark chocolate I mentioned previously. I can say with relative confidence that she does this with all the food she consumes.
vs. me…I have always claimed to be a “texture” eater…thus the reason why I chew chocolate and, yes, even ice cream! But what is TRUE? What is TRUE is that a great deal of enjoyment can come by slowing down and sucking on the chocolate (for instance) or ice cream. By just allowing the entire experience to take a bit more time. 🙂
7.) A naturally thin eater removes the emotion from pre-meal preparation anticipation. Actually, I am not even sure how to categorize what I am talking about here. While Andrea enjoys food tremendously, she nevertheless refers to meals as “feedings.” She has asked me when I stay with her: “When do you want our next feeding to be?” I have given this some careful consideration and there is something about the term “feeding” that reduces the emotion behind anticipating a meal. What I mean is when I am hungry and actually preparing the meal, the emotions and joy are allowed to flow, but beforehand, referring to the next meal as a “feeding” seems to remove the emotion from the event, thus making it less about lust 🙂 and more about the needs of my body, if that makes sense. I am not as likely to pre-empt hunger. Maybe it is because I think of a “feeding” as something that is done for animals who require certain nutrients…not for recreational enjoyment of food! I know we aren’t animals, certainly, but I do think the term is helpful. When I think of “my next feeding,” I think in terms of what my body needs, instead of what my taste buds want.
vs. me…I sometimes get excited thinking about the next meal or the next time I get to eat. Sometimes, then I will eat before my body needs food. Using Andrea’s term of “feeding,” removes some of the super-charge from the anticipation.
8.) A naturally thin eater sometimes overeats, but doesn’t get upset about it. It’s true! When I asked Andrea about the quantity I have seen her pack away on rare occasion 🙂 she reminds me that she doesn’t eat like that very often. When she does, she doesn’t think much about it after the fact. She waits until she is hungry again and eats her normal portion size.
vs. me…I tend to beat myself up when I overeat. Or, in the past, I have tried to exercise to make up for overeating.
9.) A naturally thin eater eats sitting down at a table. Andrea mentioned this to me during one of my recent visits. Although this is definitely one of the Keys to Conscious Eating, I nevertheless found it strangely reassuring that even a naturally thin eater sits for any “feeding” :-). It isn’t just a “rule” for me. It is wisdom. People, like my sister, who I admire for the way that food doesn’t own them, just take a load off to enjoy their food.
vs. me…I have been known to walk through the kitchen and mindlessly grab something. It seems like when I eat something standing up, it is likely that I am breaking my 0 to 5 boundary. Like it doesn’t count when I eat it standing! Sitting down, I own up to the moment being an eating occasion…even if it just a cookie. By sitting down, I slow down, am mindful, and enjoy the experience more. I am less likely to pre-empt hunger if I uphold this secondary boundary!
10.) Naturally thin eaters keep temptations that are present in their home wrapped up and put away out of sight. One of the reasons why the chocolate bar that Andrea gave me lasted so long was because I followed her advice…I wrapped it up and put it out of sight.
vs. me… In the past, I often left foods like cookies, brownies, etc, on the counter. The truth is, if it sits on the counter, I am likely to be reminded of it even when I am not hungry. Then it becomes more of a battle for me than it needs to be.
11.) Naturally thin eaters exercise for enjoyment and general feel-good health benefits, rather than out of fear. Andrea does Yoga and walks around her neighborhood. She does so because she enjoys it.
vs. me…over the years at various times, I have exercised out of fear or to make up for what I have overeaten!
How About You?
Can you adopt any of these practices? Do you have a naturally thin relative or friend? What other practices have you noticed are a part of their life?
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Cor. 4:17-18)
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. (Hebrews 12:1-4)
In what ways have you focused your previous attempts to “fix yourself” on what is seen and temporary?
What is the better approach? What are we called to focus on now? (See the above verses for ideas.)
Right now, let’s choose to throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. The way to do this is to focus our hearts, minds, gaze on our Redeemer, our King, our Salvation. Instead of focusing on how much we need to “control” unwanted behavior, we will concentrate on the greatness of God, HIS ability, HIS power, HIS provision, HIS love for you, HIS grace!
What About You?
What do you think about this challenge? Are you ready? Ready againI? There is nothing wrong with another new beginning!
Let’s rejoice that we won’t need to use numbers on a bathroom scale to define who we are! In fact, let’s lock our bathroom scales in a closet or put them in the garage. Likewise, we no longer need to allow our ability to fit into a pair of jeans determine whether we have a good day or not. Life is about so much more.
Our King redeems all the years that we have been less than we hoped to be, the insinuations of others (or ourselves) that we have been inadequate, all the moments in the past when we have been controlled by our appetites and the meals that are yet ahead where we hope not to overeat or under-eat, binge or purge. He will use these moments when we are drawn to food to remind us of His love for us. As he does this, we have a choice. To wait in the moment for His love to satisfy us and be enough or to give in to the temptation to fill the empty well of our hearts with the stagnant water of the counterfeit. Life-giving water—Jesus our King, or the life-draining effect of whatever it is we may tend to turn to instead?
Bible Study
Let’s have a look at the past and the present. You will want a journal for this or to print out this part of the blog!
At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. 4But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, 5he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, 6whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, 7so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. Titus 3:3-7
In the above passage circle or underline every reference to the past. For instance “were.” Circle that. Any action word (verb) ending with –ed you will want to circle as well.
List the words you circled.
What phrase in the passage above marks the turning point? (If you want a hint, see verse 4.) Do you see those wonderful words, “But when…?” Note the way the story changes.
Do you see a promise for the future in verse 7? What is it?
Read Ephesians 2:1-7:
1As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, 2in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. 3All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature[a] and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. 4But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. 6And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.
Do the same exercise for this passage, circle every reference to the past.
What is the turning point in this passage?
WHO is the hero? Who rescues whom?
Does the rescue depend on you at all?
Journal your response.
Aren’t these wonderful promises? We are encouraged to realize that the past is the past. We USED to live these ways. BUT…and here is where the story gets really good…BUT!!! While it is true we were in captivity, we were enslaved, we were without hope. “But…He saved us!” The daring rescue has happened!
How does this contrast with the notion that you can “let God down?”
When we have this sense that we let God down, what does that say about God’s need for me? If God is the one doing the rescuing, the carrying, the holding, the helping, how can I “let God down?”
In Isaiah 41:10, GOD says:
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
GOD is the one who does the carrying, the strengthening, the helping, the holding, the rescuing! He is the dashing warrior upon whom the story turns. He has done it. Jesus Christ has won the victory for you. He comes for you…right now. The gallant hero reaches for you from astride his noble steed. Will you allow him to lift you safely out of the kingdom of darkness?
He carries you. He lifts you.
Respond to the Truth
What do you think? How can believing this, that HE is the focus, that HE is the where our strength comes from, radically transform our experience? How might that affect you…TODAY? 🙂
