Because of my involvement with the Thin Within company in the past and my participation in writing the book and workbook material, I have received emails and phone calls over the years asking for input, help, and advice.
One of the most common struggles that people face is with consistency. I often am asked “How can I stop failing at this? I start the day committed to giving God my eating within 0-5, but by the time dinner is over, I seem to always give in to eating constantly for the rest of the evening. What is wrong with me? How can I be successful?”
The questions vary in how they are worded, but this is the upshot.
Here I share some thoughts about this:
It sounds like you are defining failure according to the dieting mentality. How does God define failure, though?
Many of us think failure is not losing weight, not sticking to a meal plan, etc.
But what if God’s view of failure is radically different–if it has more to do with our hearts? What if it has nothing to do with our weight and is simply: Not seeking Christ with all our hearts?
Think about it. Do you desire to give God your eating? Are you growing in your awareness and taking babysteps of faith and action to surrender your eating to Him. This is seeking Christ! This is far from the “failure” that you claim!
Let’s not forget that life is a journey–it is progressive. Sanctification is a process!
Maybe we need to extend ourselves the grace that God certainly does–He demonstrated His love for us in this, that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Even when we had NOT A SINGLE Godward thought, he reached out to bridge the chasm between us.
God has given us a very precious gift that he intends for us to embrace that might help us to delight in Him and his goodness, rather than fixate on ourselves.
Let’s invite God to help us to redefine failure and success the way HE does. Right now, he is working on your heart. You are seeing your weakness, I bet! He says in his Word that when you are weak, he is strong. That is progress, too! If you can rest in that, it might help. Look at all the many moments in the day that you are honoring him. If it is just at night that you struggle with godly choices, I would say that probably over 20 hours out of every 24 are spent honoring God with your choices! That is far from failure!
While we DO want to repent of sin, maybe we should also declare His praises in the work He is doing in us and celebrate our good choices.
I believe that these things are CRUCIAL–to welcome the renewing of our minds and to let go of the dieting mentality that says failure is when I don’t lose weight or stick to an eating plan 100% of the time.
Nevertheless, here are some practical tips for offsetting the temptation to eat in the evening when many of us are most vulnerable. See if some of these may help you!
1.) After dinner, put up a “Kitchen Closed” sign and abide by it.
2.) Chew sugarless gum. Anything you put in your mouth when you are chewing gum will be sorta gross. 🙂
3.) (My favorite as I believe it gets to the heart…) Since you know you struggle in the evening, plan for some quiet time with the Lord immediately after dinner. This will be time to devote yourself afresh to him, to feast on his presence, to ask him to come into your weakness and to be strong in it.
4.) Plan a new activity after dinner other than computer or tv or reading (or whatever is your typical MO…). Change things up, get out of the house, go for a walk or a drive or…whatever. Break out of the rut! 🙂
I hope these help, but most of all, our THINKING is where we need the transformation to begin. I think that is one reason why this approach is called Thin WITHIN. The changes begin in our hearts and in our thinking. Let’s be sure we address this. It is hard work, certainly, but our God is faithful. Let’s invite God to renew our minds and to transform us. Let’s spend time immersed in His Word during the time of day when we are most tempted!
What if I were to make a really BOLD assertion! Try this:
Not just “allowed.”
Not just “tolerated” as if his arm was twisted by some force (Satan?) and he gave in.
No.
I mean precisely what it says.
This is a frightening assertion. If you find it so, you are in good company! Why does it bother us so much?
Somehow it implies things that I don’t like, true. Yet to somehow assume that God wasn’t sovereign in my past, that he *could* have stopped “bad things” from happening and chose to “allow” them anyhow, doesn’t bring me comfort. I don’t see that in Scripture. I don’t see that in his character in the pages of my bible either. I see a clear declaration again and again: He is KING.
I see that God ordains what His people endure–even suffering! We are told that HE wounds–and HE heals. We may not understand why or how, but he does. Satan has no rights or power apart from God and somehow that fact doesn’t diminish God’s utter, total holiness and goodness. It is sort of like the Trinity–I don’t get it, but it is true.
So, what are the implications of God being sovereign, even in my past?
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Here is my assertion…If we believe God was sovereign even in childhood abuse, molestation, abandonment…if we believe God was sovereign when a husband was unfaithful or a best friend betrayed…if we believe God was sovereign when the church lady wounded us so deeply…if we believe God was sovereign over anything that has happened to us, then we can REST. We can be at peace. We cease striving. We believe that–even if we don’t “get” it, even if we don’t understand how a GOOD God could have even allowed certain things, let alone ordained them–if we believe that our thoughts are not God’s thoughts, nor His thoughts ours…that His ways are so much higher than our own…if we believe that He will go to ANY lengths to win a human heart for eternity–even wound for a speck of time during this brief season we are on earth so that we might enjoy intimacy with him forever–we can REST knowing that whatever it is we faced that was so horrible had a greater good that we will one day see. It was ordained by the loving plan of a gracious, merciful God.
If I were to go back through my own past and look at events in light of this assertion, I know it would radically affect my tendency to turn to food to comfort and numb myself–or to “treat” myself. Sometimes I have gone to food just because I was angry with God and what I felt he “allowed” in my life. I feel that he shouldn’t have “allowed” these things. I have gotten an attitude and developed a rebellious spirit–and a whole host of coping mechanisms for numbing myself to the pain of it all.
For example, my parents were far from what *I* would call ideal. But God ordained that they would be my parents. Because of the way they parented me and my fleshly responses to their sinful choices made while I was growing up–their sin toward one another, toward me, toward life generally–I grew up hiding behind food. I sneaked candy bars and cookies since my parents literally shoved food into my mouth and beat me if I didn’t willingly chew it and swallow…and while I was gagging. (Do I really need to wonder why I can’t swallow steamed broccoli today? My gag reflex seems autonomic!)
I brought my perception of my parents and all the coping behaviors I adopted growing up into my adult life (including my gag reflex over vegetables in any form other than salsa!). Result: Obesity for much of my adult life!
If I could stop thinking of myself as a “childhood victim” for just a moment, and consider that God ordained which parents would parent me (I am not saying he condones sin…I know this is a brain sprainer), if I just go out on a limb and embrace that God was sovereign in my past, then I can KNOW because he is not only sovereign, but completely holy and good, that he intended for something good and beautiful to come of my upbringing by that particular set of parents. Even the horrible things I experienced at their hand.
If I can really believe this, then I can then REST knowing that beauty was intended from the ashes of my childhood traumas. For instance, I am sure that apart from the way I was raised in major dysfunction, I wouldn’t have been nearly so desperate for Christ when I gave my heart to Him at 15 years of age. The cross shows us that there is no suffering greater than the lengths to which God will go to win the human heart. In my case, it required childhood trauma.
Developing greater intimacy with him has required suffering in recent months. He wants my heart. He will stop at nothing to have it. All of it. Rather than just “allowing” these challenges, I am comforted that he has *ordained* them so that I will be his–totally.
Even now, if I put my childhood in the context of having been ordained by a loving, gracious, compassionate, sovereign God, I can stop striving, churning, and cease the rebellion. For me, in a nutshell, that means I will run to food less!
How about you? How would your eating/body issues be affected if the circumstances of your life that have led you to overeat were viewed in light of God’s sovereignty–if you chose to really believe that he ordained them?
With concern about your weight, your body, if you will ever be thin or have this overeating thing (or eating disorder) truly beaten, let’s not forget that life is about something so much more. There is HEALING for us in this truth. No matter what you face right now–obesity-related health problems, stigma, woundings from those you love…even if you wonder if a spouse or family member would have treated you differently if only you had been a different size (this is a very real heartache for many of us)…or if your heart breaks wondering if you will ever even *be* married… if you wonder if you look “good enough” for someone to ever want to love…
The TRUTH is, to Jesus you are enough. To the God of this Universe you are worth everything.
Believe this and let it change your moment, your day…your everything. (Me, too.)
Someone on the SparkPeople Thin Within Spark Team asked about how to be obedient when you have a rebellious streak. I thought I would share here some thoughts about that.
If you are seeking to follow the 0 to 5 eating parameters that Thin Within espouses, to eat when you are hungry and stop when you are no longer hunger or are physically satisfied, then you may have discovered 🙂 that sometimes we are drawn to food for a million reasons other than physical hunger or need! Many of us have a conviction that God wants us to eat for physical hunger. Eating when we aren’t physically hungry would be outside of his parameters for us. (I understand that a lot of people don’t share that conviction. :-))
It boils down to the choice I will make, but here is what has helped me a BUNCH with this. Rather than looking at ALL the obedience this thing will take to do it “right,” I ask the Lord to help me in *this* moment. THIS moment is the only one I can do anything about anyhow. Can I make a godly choice in *this* moment? Can I capture *this* moment for Him? TA-DAH! 🙂 There is one moment captured for the Lord! Ok, now, how about *this* one? Before I know it, I have a bunch of tiny little moments captured for him. One thing I have found is that if I can think of THIS moment ONLY, it really helps. Sometimes, if I capture a few of those for the Lord, the desire to eat when I am not hungry goes away completely!
The other thing that has made a huge difference for me is building a heart of gratitude. Let me explain…I know we hear this suggestion all the time, but it has (practically speaking) transformed my life and I believe it can transform *anyone* who struggles with obedience. What is DISobedience, after all? It is wanting something that is outside the Lord’s will for me. If I practice gratitude for all of the many things that the Lord has given me and does give me, if I thank him “in the moment” for the portion allotted for me, for the wonderful way it tastes, the textures of His edible creations, as well as anything else I can think of … if I journal this or even gratitude-blog it, before I know it, I have cultivated a heart that is like soil that isn’t receptive to an “I want that forbidden thing” attitude or seed. It really works. I like to keep a running list so that in the moment when I want what I want :-/, I can open to my gratitude blog/journal/list and be reminded of all God has done for me. I pray thanks out loud to God for it all over again. It is amazing what happens–what changes in my heart.
I also like to keep a running list of God’s attributes–you can do this, too. Each time you read God’s Word, or the Thin Within book, or a praise song reminds you of a characteristic of God, jot down which characteristic of God it is or Name for God. Then, when you are struggling, choose to take a moment to praise Him for who he is. I believe he receives this praise with delight!
Yet another thing that has helped to nip a tendency toward spontaneous poor choices in the bud is for me to commit…yes, COMMIT…before I eat ANYthing…even when I am hungry and know it…to pause and be still for a specific amount of time. I will sit, for like 3 minutes (however God leads you), and ask… “How can I best glorify You, Lord, in this moment? Will eating physical food glorify You and make You known?” (See 1 Corinthians 10:31.) If I can honestly say yes, then I thankfully choose to eat with the direction of the Spirit. If I can’t say yes, then I try to hold out a moment for another question: “What is really going on here, then, Lord?”
Our tendency to want to eat when we don’t need food is rooted in something. I believe that God isn’t after our thinness, but he is after our hearts. Whatever it is that motivates us, whatever it is that is beneath our love for food more than offering our hearts to him in praise, gratitude and sacrifice, is probably something worth investigating. He loves us and doesn’t condemn us. But he *does* want to heal us! I hope that makes sense.
Praying for obedient choices, motivated by hearts of love, gratitude and praise for ALL of us!
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My husband is traveling a lot this month and next. He said something intriguing to me today. He said that with all the traveling he is doing and how much he hates being away from home this much, that there is an awareness that God is Sovereign–even in this situation, with lots of traveling–and my husband finds rest in that fact.
Interesting. Especially given the things I have been pondering lately.
God is sovereign. Scripture (and at least one really awesome pastor that I admire and respect) teaches that God is Lord of All…EVERYTHING. Everything happens because He ordains it–not allows it like it is something He isn’t happy about, but then acquiesces, saying: “Ok, I will give in…I guess I will permit that.”
The fall in Genesis 3 didn’t take God by surprise. He didn’t just “allow” it. There were no “oopsie doo” mistakes. Maybe Genesis 3 happened because, well…it was supposed to.
Consider that we are often told in hymns and sermons that Jesus was slain for our sins before the foundation of the world. Have you ever wondered what that means? I think it may mean (at least in part) that God determined that redemption would be His primary plan–not His “backup” plan. He ordained we would live in a “Genesis 3 World,” with all of it’s so-called imperfections, sin, challenges–and might I be so bold as to say that he ordained this would happen even with an Enemy who would seek to steal, kill and destroy. He planned this for us so that we might choose *Him* in the midst of it all. That we might be conformed to the image of Christ as we walked the path of suffering. Our choosing him would be that much more glorious and beautiful. Our conformation to the image of Christ that much more amazing in light of the influences we would have pressing in on us. What a glorious thing for people who are assaulted by the reality of sin and grief to nevertheless reach for God in the midst of it all–to choose HIM even when it makes no earthly or common sense.
So what? LOL!
Well, in light of this, maybe I need to flow with Him and His purposes for ordaining this circumstance, situation–or just my life generally. Living in a Genesis 3 world is precisely how he expects me to be conformed to the image of Christ and to glorify Him. Am I striving against God and His purposes when I moan about what I want–the perfect world I hope to see? Maybe “fixing” things–even with a godly desire as my primary motivator–is really another way of rejecting God’s ordained plan. I can’t really fix anything anyhow.
If I consider this Genesis 3 world a God-ordained opportunity to be conformed to the image of Christ and to glorify God, if I consider my life as nothing if it isn’t doing that, then contentment might follow. 🙂 Rest and peace might, too. Just as it does for my husband as he considers the reality of his travel schedule. Maybe a lot of the churning I experience is because I refuse to surrender to the God of Genesis 3–no, not to sin, but to the world that God has ordained.
I can hear some objections to this blog right now. To be honest, I can even verbalize objections myself. I am grappling with a lot of the implications of these things…I hope to unpack some of those things in the days ahead–especially as it relates to any way in which I try to exert “control” over my world. (Hint: This relates for many of us–including me–directly to food and body issues!)
I am struggling. Not with the weight of my body.
No, I am struggling with the weight of my heart.
How about you? What does your heart weigh? Is it light and carefree? Is it burdened? Is it just sort of “holding its own?”
I am not really sure what to DO next, so I think I will just BE for a bit. Watch, wait. Rest. Breathe.
and…
Quit
trying
to
fix
everything…
How clever is my pride
How it deceives my mind
To think I’m in control
When I’ve really lost it all
How brilliant is my greed
For what it says I need
And then I’ve come to find I’m empty on the inside
Real
My heart is aching to be real
So I’m coming to you
With all of my broken motives
All of my selfish dreams
All of my foolishness
Now I understand where it leads
I want to be in Your love
I want to be so much more
I know You’re reaching out
So what am I fighting You for
What am I fighting You for
How quick is my doubt
To leave my heart without
The presence of Your peace
So that I scarce believe
How battered is my guilt
To crush the life You’ve built
To keep me far away from any kind of change
Real
My heart is aching to be real
So I’m coming to you
With all of my broken motives
All of my selfish dreams
All of my foolishness
Now I understand where it leads
I want to be in Your love
I want to be so much more
I know You’re reaching out
So what am I fighting You for
What am I fighting You for
‘Cause only You can save me
And only You can change me
And only You can love me
Here I come, Here I come
So I come to You
With all of my broken motives
All of my selfish dreams
All of my foolishness
Now I understand what it means
I want to be in Your love
I want to be so much more
I know You’re reaching out
So what am I fighting You for
What am I fighting You for
With all of my broken motives
All of my selfish dreams
All of my foolishness
Now I understand where it leads
I want to be in Your love
I want to be so much more
I know You’re reaching out
I don’t want to fight anymore
I don’t want to fight
Have you ever been called to a peculiar obedience? To something that just doesn’t make earthly sense, but you had little doubt it was something God wanted?
I am not a part of any of the armed services. Never have been. But it seems to me that looking at Jericho “securely barred” would hardly be the time for the Lord to say, “See? I have delivered Jericho into your hands…” If I were Joshua or any of the Israelites at that moment, I would have said, “No, honestly, Lord, I don’t ‘see.'”
But have you ever been in a situation where you sensed that the Lord wanted you to believe him for a great victory? Where you knew in your heart–perhaps through a promise in the Scriptures or a godly friend’s encouragement or the testimony of the Spirit within–that God is up to something? The reality of that wonderful “something” wasn’t evident outwardly or visibly, but you had a confidence because at some level God had said “See? I have done it…”
What is it for you right now? Maybe it is that you will overcome some physical concerns–maybe this relates to your size for you. Or maybe you have an eating disorder and you KNOW that you will one day walk in freedom from it. Prayerfully consider what God is telling you is already done in His power.
I think I know what it is for me, but can I just be honest with you? A part of me is afraid to believe God because…well…what if I am wrong? What if it doesn’t happen and I have believed that He was going to do it? I get concerned that my faith can’t take a hit like that…so I end up refusing to believe God for the “really big” things. That preserves stunted faith. :-/
I wonder what would have happened if, instead of believing God and leading the Israelites to do likewise, Joshua had “covered for God.” What if Joshua hadn’t believed God when he said, “See? I have…” What if he had challenged God and said, “Nope. I don’t see. Show us….”
Instead of the usual and perfectly predictable “frontal assault,” God called the Israelites to do some pretty strange things:
What is up with that? Why the delay? Why the funky march each day for six days when God could have spoken the walls into dust? Why a shout and trumpets and all? I can just imagine being an Israelite warrior wondering, “And is that when I get to use my sword?” 🙂 Not this time. God called the warriors to leave their swords in their sheaths. Interesting…The walls were going to fall without them!
Are there walls that God is asking you to trust him about–walls between you and a loved one? Walls between a loved one and God? Walls between you and the Lord? Is he asking you to trust him that he will bring the walls down? Is he calling you to a peculiar sort of obedience in the meantime?
I am struggling with this a lot. There are walls between me and a loved one and between a loved one and God. In fact, a couple of loved ones. I really really want to believe God that he has won the victory and it is just a matter of time before I actually see it. Right now, though, he is calling me to a peculiar obedience, all right. He is calling me…of ALL things…to SHUT UP.
There is no nice way of putting this.
I am a woman of many words.
Words when I am joyful.
Words when I am sad.
Words when I am worried.
Words when I am thrilled.
The list goes on and on. In fact, someone I know and love and trust–a godly counselor–has exhorted me that I have trusted in my words as a functional messiah. YIKES! I think he has been right in many ways.
So, for now, I am supposed to do a silent march around “Jericho.” I don’t even get to blow the trumpet! 🙂
God wants me to be quiet…and wait…and to believe HIM (not in my words or in my ability to persuade). I call this a peculiar obedience because I am just sure God could *use* my help! 🙂 I mean, when the fighting men were told they didn’t get to use a sword, arrow or spear to bring the walls down, I wonder if they chafed a bit at the thought. What did they think about marching without using their weapons…the weapons that they were just positive were useful in a situation such as the very one in which they found themselves?
Well, you know the story.
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