Question
If all else were to be stripped away–even the good, the best, the beautiful, the holy–and I were to be left with nothing else, would Jesus be enough for me?
For you?
Crushed
Note: This post isn’t about Thin Within at all. At least not directly. I continue to have a great relationship with Thin Within and with the Hallidays.
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God is slaying me.
I remember as a kid, a saying that my mom would use, “Oh, he just slays me!” It typically meant that whoever it was made my mom laugh a lot or, at the very least, have a good time.
When I say “God is slaying me,” I don’t mean it that way at all.
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I mean, he is killing me–my will, my affections, my desires, my longings, and many things that I thought were good and godly “things” that I have worked hard for almost all my adult life. I don’t understand how a good God could possibly do what He is doing when the very things he demands be put on the altar seem to be the things that he has asked of me. They are the things that have come about as a result of suffering. Now, I must go through suffering as I release these things to him? What is THAT about?
Shall the pot say to the potter, why have you made me thus?
If I just go with it, will it be better? I mean, I really wonder if suffering isn’t worse in some way, the more we cling to our “right” to go on without it, the more we insist that we deserve better, the more we insist, “But God, YOU said …..!!!” The more we claim that God’s “goodness” and “kindness” all mean what *I* think they mean and not what He IS, the worse life seems to be. Frankly, his ways are terrifying. It is impossible for me to trust him when his ways are SO terrifying.
I am so tired of striving with God. He wants to slay me and the very things that I thought he had hewn into the stone of my life. He wants the work I thought he had done to be crushed. Is it possible that it wasn’t him? How could that be? How could years have been spent building a life given to the Lord, only to have it be something that he now demands? Are the things he asked of me now dishonoring to him? Have I elevated the creatED to a place that is inappropriate? Is it an idol now?
I don’t understand. I want to understand.
Though, simultaneously, I am amazed at my arrogance.
Is this what “dying to self” means? If so, then we need to quit using it as a Christian catch phrase for anything and everything. It is brutal, violent, and devastating.
So what is really so bad about being slain? About losing my way? About letting go? Once he crushes me nothing is left to cling to. Grapes are crushed for their juice. Will anything sweet come out of me once I am crushed?
Week 02 Assignment Thin Within WORKBOOK Study
Hi! If you are happening by “late” and want to join in our study of the Thin Within workbook, but don’t yet have a copy, you can place an order with Pam and Joe Donaldson. Just give a call to 877-729-8932 M-F, 9-5pm Eastern time and let them know you want the “Rebuilding God’s Temple Workbook Kit #1.” If you aren’t sure what it is, visit this link to see a run down about it.
Leaders, my pdf notes for this first session of my group may be found at this link. Please email me if you want the Microsoft Word version to edit for your personal use. Are you using these notes? I would love to hear about it if so.
If you are participating with us, your “assignment” for this week is to:
1.) Do lesson 2 in the Workbook, reading all the material for Lesson 2 and completing the workbook exercises for week 2.
2.) As you read and study, please continue your lists: “What God is Like” and “What God Does.” Use these to start your time each day with 5 minutes (or more) of praise. Thank God for His attributes and for the ways he interacts with humans. I often do this when I feel overwhelmed, down, or tempted. By recounting God’s attributes and saying them out loud, there is something powerful that happens in me. Temptation doesn’t quite have the power it otherwise would and I find my spirits are lifted. Whatever trials are harassing me get put in perspective in light of what an amazing God I have!
3.) Wait for 0 to eat physical food. Stop eating when you are physically satisfied. Ask the Lord to help you clarify physical satisfaction, if it seems unclear.
4.) Prayerfully evaluate if your use of the scale is in its proper place. Does the bathroom scale define what kind of day you have? What if you were to “fast” using the scale for a week? Does the thought bother you? Ask the Lord what he would have you to do about this. Some find it a very helpful tool. Others of us (including me) find that the scale is a tool of condemnation or pride. I can’t seem to get my heart in a place to use it appropriately, so I got rid of mine!
5.) This week, please consider visiting us at the Thin Within Facebook page or Thin Within forums to get and give support to others!
6.) I hope you will come back to the blog tomorrow or Tuesday and read the devotional that I will post here. More, I hope you will respond. I know I haven’t been “around” much. My family is going through a real challenging time and I am not online nearly so much, but I read every comment and respond when I can. I love it when I see you all interacting with one another. Please don’t give up! 🙂
7.) Feel free to comment here in response to any of the above. I would love to hear what God is doing in your lives!
I am praying for you all. Will you pray for me, too? 🙂
Hearts Set on Pilgrimage!
Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.
As they pass through the Valley of Baca,
they make it a place of springs;
the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
They go from strength to strength,
till each appears before God in Zion.
till each appears before God in Zion.
Psalm 84:5-7
Typically, when someone comes to this blog, it is because they want encouragement with regard to their desire to change physically. Many (most?) visit this blog unhappy with the size or shape of their physical bodies. And this is the way it often begins. God gets our attention with our food or eating…and then the journey begins and sooner or later we discover that it really isn’t about food, eating, or body size/shape.
This is because (I guess) most of us realize that the physical condition in which we find ourselves is typically just an outward manifestation–a barometer, if you will–of something that is going on at a deeper level. “Within.”
We know almost intuitively that there is some inner churning or unworkable beliefs that have brought us to this place–this place of dissatisfaction with where we are.
So I ask you…are you ready for pilgrimage? Are you ready to move forward with the Lord? At some level, you must be! I don’t think you would be here at this blog if that wasn’t the case. So welcome! Let’s link arms together.
Question #1: Take a minute and answer in your journal or even here in the comments if you like–Describe that place from which you wish to “depart.” What are you hoping to leave behind as you move forward in your walk with the Lord?”
I am at an unusual place. I have found myself in a similar place only one time in my life–and that was over ten years ago. I struggle a great deal feeling like I am here, again, now…when I should be ten years farther down the road. It is my hope that I will understand God’s view of this “do over.” I want to leave this place in the dust–permanently. This is a place of uncertainty. It is also a place where old habits and mind sets with regard to food…things that I thought were ancient history…are again in my face! Emotions are raging and with that has come an ancient, yet somehow strangely familiar, feeling–that of being drawn to food for comfort.
This time, I have boundaries and I am not throwing these safeguards aside–at least not entirely. I know to do that would be to court disaster physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Nevertheless, I really hope that I will leave this “place” … and SOON.
My heart is SET on pilgrimage. Is yours? 🙂 Dictionary.com defines “pilgrimage” this way: a journey, esp. a long one, made to some sacred place as an act of religious devotion…
So, “journey” implies a starting place, a place I LEAVE, and a destination…that place to which I go.
I am ready! Get me OUT OF HERE! 🙂 Beam me up, Scotty!
Question #2: Based on Psalm 84:5-7 (the verses above), what does God’s Word say about the person who sets their heart on moving forward with Him—on pilgrimage?
What do you see in this passage about that? If you set your heart on pilgrimage, what does this passage seem to promise?
In the past, you may have focused on garnering up self-control or self-discipline to get your weight under control. However, according to Psalm 84:5-7, the one who is truly blessed finds strength where?
How does this promise make you feel?
Question #3: What have you done in the past to get your “weight” under control? What are tactics and techniques to which you have resorted?
If you are like most of us, this doesn’t just include dieting and exercising, but it also includes some pretty physically unhealthy behaviors…maybe purging, using laxatives, throwing up, or not eating at all! If you feel so led, share with us what techniques, tactics, and dieting strategies you have relied upon. What were the consequences of resorting to these things?
If you are like me, you may have been enticed by the promise of freedom that obsessive counting, exercising, weighing and measuring offered, but freedom was *NOT* the result–even if you lost weight. I will never forget how thrilled I was to be thin after a year with a popular weight loss program…but my heart was ensnared more than ever before. After a year of fixating my attention on food and weight, that was all I could think about. This was NOT freedom!
Thin Within throws all of the “wisdom” of the world out. Everything that “makes sense” to us…well…God may have us toss aside and do something entirely different. I dieted for years and years. I was “good” at it, too! It wasn’t until I gave up all my dieting “wisdom” and exercising knowledge and began to listen to the Lord and what he was leading me to do that I could begin to be at peace and become healthy physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
So, is your heart set on pilgrimage? Are you ready to leave everything you thought you knew behind and allow God to transform you inside and out by the renewing of your mind?
Since you died with Christ to the basic principles of this world,
why, as though you still belonged to it, do you submit to its rules:
“Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!”?
These are all destined to perish with use,
because they are based on human commands and teachings.
Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom,
with their self-imposed worship,
their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body,
but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.
Colossians 2:20-23
We are heading on a journey where God will teach us more about ourselves and about Him than we may expect. It will be a wonderful, wild, and terrifying journey. I can’t lie to you. But he provides us the strength we need. Let’s depend on Him.
Week 01 Assignment Thin Within WORKBOOK Study
Hi! I hope all of you have the Thin Within workbook kit #1, “Rebuilding God’s Temple.” If you don’t yet have it, you can call Joe or Pam Donaldson at 877-729-8932.
If you are leading a group through the study of the Thin Within workbook, you can get my leader notes for the first optional introductory session here. It is in a .pdf (Adobe Reader) format. Please email me if you want the Microsoft Word version to edit for your personal use.
If you are just planning on going through the study with us here online, GREAT! Welcome! Now is the time! (Even if you are arriving at this page in 2011, you can still use these notes to be encouraged and to focus your time. If you respond in the comments, others may be doing the study at the same time as you…so they may respond in turn!).
In my “live” group, I used last Tuesday night to hand out the material to my group members.
Your “assignment” for this week is to:
1.) Do lesson 1 in the Workbook, reading all the material for Lesson 1 and completing the workbook exercises for week 1, days 1-7. Days 6 and 7 *are* considered “optional,” so if you feel like you have fallen behind, don’t worry about completing those!
2.) As you read and study, please generate a list that we will add to throughout our study… “What God is Like” and “What God Does.” These can be two lists or one. I find it easiest to put it all on one list which I have started in the back cover of my workbook. Next to each item on it, I jot down the verse citation or the source of the “attribute.”
I believe it is AW Tozer who says that the single most important thing about a man (or woman) is what s/he believes about God and I believe it is so. Please keep this list, as we will be referring to it throughout our study!
3.) Will you pray for others who will be doing this study here and on the Thin Within forums?
4.) Consider “popping up” on the Thin Within Facebook page or Thin Within forums to get and give support to others!
5.) Read the associated devotional that I will post here tomorrow (or Tuesday) and respond! I may be posting my thoughts here as I go through the material…I have the hankering to write again. Finding the time may be the trickiest part now. But it helps if you check in here and respond on the posts…You can get and give support to others on this journey. We need one another.
Watch for more this week! 🙂
MY Words aren’t coming…
Thank you for your prayers. I have taken time to write thoughts about what is going on…but haven’t been able to put them here, either because I have been asked not to or because they just didn’t seem to be what God has in mind…or both.
I have just read a blog entry that I wish I had written. Instead, I will choose to receive it as the gift that it is. Wonderfully Made was founded by Allie Marie Smith. She is the lady who wrote H.E.A.L (Healthy Eating Abundant Living) with Judy Halliday (who also wrote Thin Within).
Wonderfully Made has speakers and events particularly helping young women. One of their representatives is Jennifer Strickland who has written a book called Girl Perfect. She was a runway model and has an incredible testimony.
She has written a blog entry that God is using to encourage me today. I want to share it with you. Please read “Choose the Crown” at this web page at the Wonderfully Made blog, and if you comment, let Allie and Jennifer know where you found the link. They are both such sweet sisters who love Jesus and his daughters. 🙂
Thanks, Allie and Jennifer. I needed this encouragement today. Jesus knew.
NEW!
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