Continue with Key to Conscious Eating #1 – eat only when my body is physically hungry.
Continue Key to Conscious Eating #2 – Reduce the number of distractions in order to eat in a calm environment.
Add Key to Conscious Eating #3 – Eat only when sitting down.
Most of the Keys are designed to help us to correctly evaluate our hunger level. If we have reduced distractions, for instance, we are more likely to notice when we approach “satisfied” which is the point that we want to stop eating. We can also eat more mindful of the pleasure of eating when our bodies need food!
If I eat when I am sitting down, I will be more likely to be present in the experience. When I eat when when I am standing up or moving in the kitchen, it is as if I don’t note the food at all. Eating when sitting down (but not driving!) helps me to relax, take the load off and delight in the joy that God intends!
Give it a try and see what happens for you! 🙂
All of the Keys to Conscious Eating are introduced in chapter 3 of Get Thin Stay Thin, though with a different name: Principles of Weight Mastery. Same thing, different name. Before introducing all of the keys, however, the Hallidays share more wisdom that causes us to understand the detriment of relying on legalistic dieting rules.
Which of the following statements resonate with you?
By imposing self-discipline and losing some weight, we obtain a self-awarded victory that may temporarily provide us with a false sense of superiority or significance. In the process, however, we become self-satisfied and further repress our awareness of the real issues beneath our low self-esteem or discontentedness. GTST, p. 63
Oh, how I can relate to this! Having released 100 pounds I definitely knew the experience of having a false sense of significance! In time, however, the victory was clearly hollow. And in that collapse of what I had unwittingly relied upon, I was left with the truth. I am still a beggar in need of bread. I am still a wandering sheep in need of my shepherd. I still want, still lack.
…because we focus only on the symptoms, the doing only, we actually inflame our eating behaviors further. GTST, p. 63
I think this may be one reason why, after a year of “holding it together,” of maintaining the weight…I gained some that is now sticking to me like glue. Again, I have to realize some of this may be legitimately stuck to me for life. I am no longer drinking diet soda at all, let alone in copious quantities–it acted as a diuretic, expelling water from my body–and no longer on a prescribed diuretic besides (since my blood pressure went back to normal). So some of this weight is legitimately MINE. But my eating behaviors were definitely “inflamed.” It was like the rubber band was stretched as tight as it could go after a year of holding it, holding it holding it…then WHAMO!!!!!
I believe I had focused too much on DOING. God is after my being. I don’t know really what that looks like yet, but we are on our way doing it… <–ha…look at that statement…DOING! See how ingrained this is in me? Wow, does God ever have a lot of work to DO… (ugh…there it is again! LOL!) The promise of what is ahead is here for me…in the quote below…
Grace is “receiving a gift with open hands:” legalism is “keeping rules with clenched fists.” Grace evokes in us a desire to conform [to Christ, to God’s will]; legalism provokes our desire to perform. Grace allows us to be; legalism compels us to do. Grace redirects our focus away from perfection to correction. When we strive for perfection, we attempt to master and control life by trying to measure up to some external, idealized standard. Striving for perfection, we are living the lie that we can make ourselves more acceptable to ourselves, to others, to God if we just follow the letter of the law. Under grace we are free to turn to God as we really are, free to learn from our mistakes, free to change and grow, and free to allow him to help us become all he intends us to be. Under legalism our response is “have to;” under grace it is “want to.” Under grace we respond out of love, out of our desire to please the one who first loved us. Our inclination springs from a heart yearning to respond to our loving God. GTST, p. 65
Continue with Key to Conscious Eating #1 – eat only when my body is physically hungry.
Add Key to Conscious Eating #2 – Reduce the number of distractions in order to eat in a calm environment.
This second key is the first of at least 5 that help us to be in the present moment when we are eating–to take note of the fact: “Hello! This is an eating occasion! Be aware and enjoy!” The theory (and a valid one) is that much of our eating is done without thinking, “unconsciously”–in the car, in front of the TV, while reading–so our minds don’t get to “register” that we are eating. In my experience, it really does seem to help.
So, to apply this key, it is wisest to turn off the TV, push the newspaper away, and send the kids outside to play–ok, just kidding about that last one. Some of us have lives that lend themselves more to a “calm environment” than others. Asking God how we can foster as calm an environment and reduce the distractions as much as possible will be a GOOD thing in this case! —
On with the deeper stuff…
Continuing my reading of Get Thin Stay Thin by Arthur and Judy Halliday, a comment jumped off the page at me when I read it a couple of days ago. It followed the question about if I will risk living by grace or not, given where legalism often leaves me:
In the case of those of us who struggle with disordered eating, the standard of legalism might be to be “thin,” to achieve a certain weight at all costs...GTST, p. 62
Are you like me? Can you see yourself in this comment? I had never considered a “goal weight” a standard of legalism! Wow…I see that this is true. Not only that, but it clearly becomes an idol if I have this mentality. If I allow this “goal” to direct my steps, to be what my mind is focused on, to determine my mood…well, then I think it is fair to say I am worshiping this goal…It is an idol.
Another thought that struck me as being powerfully true:
While losing weight may result in an immediate increase in our sense of self-worth and value, it is temporary and does not change the deep-rooted feeling that we are iredeemably flawed nor does it satisfy our silent hunger for intimacy with God. GTST, p. 62
Obviously, the authors are not saying we are flawed…they are pointing out that we *feel* flawed. This is so true in my life. I released the weight and had this sense that I had accomplished something great…and not just superficially, too. I knew that God had been at work on the inside of me…but it is still was performance oriented. In spite of how great it is to be thin now, there is this sense that I am flawed…and the silent hunger continues. I see now that it is because God is at work in me at a different level.(I am currently reading and working through Search for Significance and it is dovetailing beautifully with GTST, bringing to light that it is God who defines my worth and value. He esteems me so highly! I praise Him that this is so!)
By focusing on externals–our diets, our weight, our eating or not eating–we avoid confronting the real issues in our lives: our fears, unresolved grief, emotions, relationships, rebellion and insecurities. GTST, p. 63
I don’t want to focus on externals any more. I have, even with the Thin Within approach. I have focused on the mechanics. I guess that is why I don’t want to have the blog just be about the practical stuff. Truthfully, the practical stuff so easily becomes law for me. I know I have much to process and have been. So much has surfaced lately.
–> Emotional/Spiritual Challenge: Prayer journal the feelings, thoughts, concerns that have been surfacing lately. In my case, I may be creating a time line of relationships to see what the Lord shows me about patterns over my lifetime. I am a bit unnerved about doing this as I anticipate it will definitely be a bit like “walking through the valley of the shadow of death.”
Lord it is so much easier to focus on the externals rather than to allow you to do your probing work to make me more Christlike. I pray that today I wouldn’t be caught up in externals. Help me to have the courage and to carve out the time to journal and to process what you want. I don’t want this to be a self-indulgent, “woe is me,” pity party, Lord. I want to be healed. BE Lord today. And no matter what my emotions do, I pray that today I might eat only when I am hungry and that I will do whatever I can to choose to eat in as calm environment as possible. Help me to be aware of your presence as I eat–the blessing it is to have an abundance of food, Lord. Help eating and drinking to be an “excuse” to praise and worship you today. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
As I continue this week to apply Key to Conscious Eating #1 – eat only when my body is hungry, I do see that it is very easy to revert to legalism. This is a guideline of grace, yet it is my nature to insist that it is a law and, thus, to chafe, resist, resent. It is a godly boundary, though, not a law through which I can seek to “win” approval of God! I have his complete 100% approval in Christ! I rejoice in that fact! No feelings that I have, no matter how convincing, can alter the truth that it is by grace I have been saved through faith–not by works, so that I may not boast–and even this is a gift of God!
–> How about you? Have you found yourself going from “This is easy!” to having your dander go up, a sort of rebellious resentment surface about having a boundary of eating only when hungry?
For the first three days of this challenge to eat only when hungry, I responded in gratitude! But yesterday afternoon I became vulnerable to my flesh. Last night, I didn’t pause to ask the Lord if the “hunger” I was experiencing was true physical hunger.
So, I begin again.
Observation and Correction is where I am right now.
Observation: I invite the Lord to show me what was going on…without judgment. I dispassionately view last night’s scene in my mind and heart as if watching it on a TV screen (or that is how the Thin Within book describes it). When I do this, I recall:
I was tired
My husband had been gone all week and was now home!
Some strong emotions had surfaced that triggered a sense of abandonment relative to a friendship, ministry at church, and some other things. (A triple whammy!)
I had had a challenging ride on my horse and was emotionally exhausted from that (I know…poor baby! :-))
I was up later than usual.
These are all things that I know can cause me to gravitate toward food.
Correction: Taking the above 5 things into account and without beating myself up, I now make a plan of correction. Next time I know I am in a tired, emotional place, I know that I need to be strengthened. Before temptation strikes, I will enjoy some time of prayer, praise–perhaps get out my guitar and sing, or take some journaling time or time to read my bible and pray. It doesn’t have to take long, but I know that if I am vulnerable (and I know this ahead of time), all I need to do is invite God into that place with me and it makes a difference. If I wait until temptation hits, it is unlikely I will invite him in as I sort of plan the path I intend to run and ignore the gentle nudgings of the Spirit of God.
–> How about you? What observations can you make about any time you have strayed from eating when you aren’t hungry? Jot them down. –> What corrections can you make so that the next time you don’t have the same outcome?
If we plan ahead for those times we know are coming, we are less likely to have them broadside us!
This is often when people will say, “Thin Within doesn’t work. Forget it! Give me my Weight Watchers! Give me my SouthBeach Diet! Give me my Jenny Craig! Just tell me what to eat and when and I will lose all this weight! I have done it before, I can do it again!”
One wise friend said something along the lines of “No one has ever hated themselves into lasting positive change.” That is so true! But it is like we want to punish ourselves for our struggle with food, eating and our bodies…so we resort to restrictive dieting or exercising to the “N’th” degree! This isn’t the way of the Spirit. This isn’t the way of grace!
God calls us to risk–walking with HIM instead of depending on prescriptive ways of dealing with our weight. It may mean that we don’t see physical results as quickly as we want, but he is dealing with the root issue! Permanent, lasting change…changes in our hearts, in what we value, in our character…the things that matter in life…these are the things he is working on!
Get Thin Stay Thin chapter three speaks to this:
The question we must ask ourselves as we encounter grace in our lives is, Shall we risk living by it? Shall we place our faith in the free, spontaneous, and absolute loving-kindness of God working in us to make us whole or shall we continue to live by legalistic systems? GTST, p. 61
For years most of us have leaned on the prescriptive, external restraints and legalism of diets. Has it worked to change our hearts? It is so contrary to our God of grace! He wants freedom for us. While the freedom has been purchased it may take a long time for it to be experienced in its fullest. It is a lifetime process. I don’t think this side of heaven we will ever quite “arrive.”
This is, first and foremost, a journey. Let us enjoy it as much as we can. This, too, is one way that grace is manifest. The end result isn’t the point. The journey, our traveling Companion, the process…is!
How interesting it is to be plunging myself into this chapter of Get Thin Stay Thin at this time. I feel like the Lord is dialoguing with me so specifically.
——–
NOTE: For those joining me on the “Key #1 – Eat Only When My Body is Hungry” Challenge, I will continue today and I urge you to do so as well. Please continue to note how you *feel* in response to this challenge. Please, please continue to take these deeper feelings to the Lord and to allow Him to process them with you. I think you will see why as I share notes from Chapter 3 of Get Thin Stay Thin.
——–
Grace is freedom that conforms us from within; legalism is bondage that constrains us from without. GTST, p. 58
Legalism says we must shape up by adhering to fixed formulas or a rigid set of laws or codes. This is a deception, however, because no external constraint (legalism) can satisfy our need for love and intimacy, nor can it create a pure heart. GTST, p. 58
20Since you died with Christ to the basic principles of this world,
why, as though you still belonged to it,
do you submit to its rules:
21“Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!”?
22These are all destined to perish with use,
because they are based on human commands and teachings.
23Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom,
with their self-imposed worship,
their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body,
but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.
Colossians 2:20-23
No matter how much I may turn to externals (even the Keys to Conscious Eating!), I have a heart issue that is much deeper than my weight, body, and food issues. In fact, as I have attempted this week to “Eat Only When Hungry,” it has been easy to see these surface for me. There has been, on the one hand, this frustrating sense that “WHY IS FOOD SO ALLURING when I am NOT HUNGRY?” and the white-knuckle approach in response to this…and on the other hand, this “I am really something aren’t I? I went the entire day–the entire TWO days–eating only when hungry!”
There is condemnation and this pride…both are aspects to my flesh that the Lord wants to sift–to be rid of. Neither serve in becoming more Christ-like.
I don’t want to turn the Keys to Conscious Eating into a set of laws. I have done that before. God allowed a stomach ulcer to change my focus when I couldn’t land at a 0 or a 5 without a lot of pain. He reminded me:
Child…listen for my voice.
My sheep know my voice and they respond to me.
This is grace! This is intimacy with God fleshed out in my workaday world! The Keys to Conscious Eating are guidelines, but the final say is with God! He decides if right now I should eat or not. Sometimes he asks me to fast a while in prayer–even when I am hungry! I don’t want to cling to “my right” to eat when I am at “0.” I may miss something he wants to do in me, through me or say to me as I wait on HIM in my need.
Because he is so amazing, he has made my body reliable. As Psalm 139 says, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” He never intended food to torment me but established a simple system…hunger–when I should eat…physical satiety–when I should stop eating. Simple! No need to obsess. Just live!
It is this love, this out pouring of God’s grace, that works the transformation of our innermost being so that we delight in pleasing him–indeed, live to please him. When we love Christ and our desire is to please him in everything, we are released from clinging to rules, regulations, and performance. We experience a profound freedom and at the same time are given power to live out that freedom, for Christ sent the Holy Spirit to enable us to live, not by the letter of the law, but by its spirit, and its spirit is love. GTST, p. 61
1Therefore, there is now no condemnation
for those who are in Christ Jesus,
2because through Christ Jesus
the law of the Spirit of life
set me free from the law of sin and death.
Romans 8:1-2
–> This week, today, even now…have you battled at all with self-condemnation for the way you feel drawn to food when you aren’t hungry? What would God speak to you about this? Use His word to find verses that can speak to this. Begin with Romans 8:1 and 2 above and John 3:16-18…personalize it as a love letter from God to you asking you to let go of the condemnation that legalism brings with it.
–> How about pride? Have you in some way allowed yourself to feel an ungodly sense of pride that you are abiding by external regulations or rules? Let those of us who struggle with this ask the Lord to help us today to just love him…love him, OH…LOVE HIM! And hearken to HIS voice…and reject performance and the condemnation and pride it can bring.
Below is a song that speaks so much to my heart. I hope it ministers to you. The words are below the video.
This week, I have been focusing my attention on Key to Conscious Eating #1 – which is to eat only when my body is hungry.
My goal is to streamline things. Simplify what I am after…to wait for true physical hunger. A couple of days ago, I described the first key to conscious eating and what physical hunger may be like for most of us.
If you have tried this for a couple of days and either “been out of practice” or are new to it…well, you may have discovered or rediscovered something…again…though it is SIMPLE it isn’t EASY! Those “lures” to food may seem constant! You may feel like food is constantly on your mind and you are drawn to it like iron-filings to a magnet.
Further, if you have really focused on waiting for “0” (true physiological hunger) before eating, even when you feel want to eat for a million other reasons, you may be experiencing some “disorder,” “chaos” or plain old FREAKING OUT emotionally! If not yet, it may happen as you continue this process. That is the primary reason I keep saying that it is simple, but not easy.
Here’s the thing…many of us have used food to numb ourselves to unpleasant emotions or circumstances for years. When we suddenly remove that coping mechanism, we are left with the raw feelings…If we don’t deal with them in a biblical, godly way, we may find ourselves angry, depressed, or in any number of other conditions that aren’t pleasant for us or others to experience! In fact, some of us might feel tempted to resort to other old habits that we thought we defeated years ago! Our minds and hearts scream out for some way to avoid coming face to face with feelings that we have.
Little things may send us through the roof, in fact. We may think we are nuts! “Why am I getting so angry about my friend canceling our lunch date!” (It could be that for years we have had a struggle with coping with feelings of abandonment and have numbed ourselves to that pain. Now we no longer are numb from misusing food, we feel this feeling fresh, new, and it sets off all the other times we would have felt that way but didn’t allow it.)
Take heart, though. This is a normal part of the process!
But DO resolve to take each and every one of these things to the Lord. This is work, but it is a part of our spiritual formation, a part of becoming the people he wants us to be. He wants us to learn to lean on him. There is a hole God has placed inside of us that causes us to want something, somehow to fill that void. God intends that we turn to Him. It is a God-shaped hole and only he can fill it, but often we settle for counterfeits. One of those counterfeits may be food!
So now, today, grab your bible, your journal and a pen and plan on processing each time you want food and you aren’t hungry. This is a great time to “truth journal.” I have described that process a bit here.
Ask yourself the question: “Will eating right now make me feel better?” “Will it do so without any ‘cost’ to me?” “Will it be worth it?” Truthfully, food may make you feel better…for a time, but then after you eat, you may end up feeling worse because you know you violated your conviction, your godly boundary of waiting for hunger. And what’s more is if we circumvent God’s intention behind allowing a trial in our lives by numbing ourselves with food, he inevitably will bring something else around in our lives to work out what he intended in the first place. I personally would rather learn it the first time than to have to do it again and again all because I have numbed myself with food or some other counterfeit thing.
He promises to walk with us through this. Let’s grab a hold of his hand and cling to Him.
It may seem so ridiculous that waiting to be hungry before eating requires so much of us. But it does! It’s ok, too. We are not nuts! 🙂 Honest!
Hang in there today and keep waiting for hunger. Tomorrow we will look at Key to Conscious Eating #2
–> What are some things that make you want to eat even when you aren’t hungry? –> What emotions do you seem to be experiencing lately as you have applied yourself to waiting for hunger?
Some of us may have felt somewhat like a child having a temper tantrum. Bring this feeling to God and ask him what is going on…why you feel that way about food when you aren’t hungry. I believe he will be faithful to show us what is going on at a deeper level so that we can allow His healing from the inside out.
–> What are you willing to do, be, say, think, feel so that you can experience true hunger before eating…so that you can use food only as fuel for your body? Grow in the way God desires for you to grow?
Maybe God wants YOU to start a blog for recording your journey! 🙂 If so, share the link with us in the comments section! 🙂
I am praying for you today! Please pray for me, too! 🙂
Yesterday, some of you joined me in refocusing on the basics of Key to Conscious Eating #1 -to eat only when my body is hungry. We wait for physical hunger again before eating each time.
Let’s keep that up today. I found myself so refreshed to make life that simple again. Easy…no. Simple yes! (I sound like a broken record!)
In the comments section, you can join us if you like. I am praying for anyone who wants to do this, in fact. God knows who is with us!
I know that some of you may be brand new to waiting for hunger before eating, so I don’t want to go on too quickly to the next Key to Conscious Eating. In fact, I feel like I am learning to walk all over again! It is very much like being a child…depending on our heavenly Abba to show us what HE has in mind for us!
As we go through all the 8 keys to conscious eating, they will be cumulative…meaning we will add the second key to our focus on the first. So let’s stay focused on this key alone for another day and see if we can get some things ironed out. I want to learn to walk again before I try to run! You know what I mean? 🙂
What kinds of things surface for you as you wait for 0? Do you find yourself obsessing? “Am I hungry? Is this it? Or should I wait longer? No, this has to be it. I am sure I am hungry…aren’t I?”
Ultimately we do want to be free from obsessing, but it isn’t uncommon at first to feel obsessed…or even for this to happen when we return to waiting for hunger for the first time in a long time.
I believe that prayer is the best antidote to obsession. If I turn my obsessive thoughts into prayers to the Lord, then what could have been something detrimental to my spirit and emotions, actually turns into a dependence on Him…and he loves it when I need him.
“Lord, is this what physical hunger feels like? Please give me your peace to experience it the way you have ordained. I know that you have made my body reliable and I have often eaten before I needed fuel. I want to learn again from you what my body will feel like when it is time to eat.”
Some of us may feel resentful when we aren’t hungry yet, but WANT to eat. I have found the best way to handle this is gratitude! With an act of my will, I can give thanks for all the blessings I can think of. Even when I don’t feel thankFULL. I do this either in my online gratitude blog or in a journal I have just for that purpose…or I can do it out loud as a praise and prayer to God. When I start praising God for His character and His provisions, something changes in me. I begin to become more humble and waiting for Him and His clear hunger signal in my body doesn’t bug me quite so much. I seem to move away from the attitude of “MY food,” “MY body,” MY MY MY and am transformed just a bit more towards a humble servant waiting for her good master. You might want to try that if you are like me at all and waiting for a 0 seems to chafe you, too.
Another thing we can do when we aren’t sure if we are hungry yet is to journal. I prefer to journal my thoughts as prayers to God as journaling to myself seems sort of empty. When I do this, I sometimes discover that I merely want the food as opposed to need it. One good test of this is if you have something in your mind that you will eat when you are at a 0, imagine if you didn’t have that something or other. If the house was devoid of oreos, freshly made snickerdoodles, or leftover mexican food…would I struggle with wondering if I was hungry right now? Sometimes this comes out when I journal. The truth is the presence of a food I like makes me want to be hungry, so I interpret anything in my stomach as hunger!
I can sometimes quell the tide of this “false hunger” by reminding myself I don’t need it now as I can have it and enjoy it all the more when I finally am hungry! The coveted food isn’t going anywhere! (Assuming you don’t have a teenager in the house who will devour everything edible. You may need to talk with them about it ahead of time!)
In my journal, it isn’t uncommon for me to write something like this: “Lord help me not to covet the feeling of hunger so I can eat. Help me to learn to wait on you…to busy myself with other things and to allow hunger to just sort of happen. Each time I think about hunger when I am not there yet, help me to remember people I can pray for or a scripture that I can recite or a praise song I can sing. Use my formerly obsessive thoughts about food to create one Holy Obsession in me Lord–YOU!”
What are some things you can busy yourself with while you try to forget that you are waiting to be hungry before you eat? 🙂
Sometimes our constant thought about food is a result of being thirsty. Try to drink some cool, fresh, water when you wonder…yesterday, I found that happened to me. I was really surprised!
Another thing I did yesterday….I knew that at 10am I was meeting my accountability partner and dear friend at a new coffee shop in town. I am not a coffee drinker, but I like hot chocolate. I knew I was going to want some of that. I wasn’t hungry for breakfast until 9am, though! I couldn’t wait any longer and I knew my normal breakfast was going to sustain me way longer than an hour. So I literally had three bites of my normal breakfast…just enough to take the edge off my hunger. At 10am I still wasn’t at a 0 again to have the hot chocolate! So I had some water. By 11am, I was hungry and ordered my hot chocolate. (I find their hot chocolate is like a mini-meal…it really fills me up I think because of the full-fat milk and whipped cream they use when making it.)
This worked out well for me as I was able to enjoy time with my friend, my hot chocolate *and* not need to eat again until 1pm! Planning a bit is important sometimes!
So what questions, comments, challenges, joys, victories did you experience yesterday…or today…as you resolved to wait until you were hungry before eating? Have you sensed the presence of God? Feel free to use the comments section to share. I read every one and am praying for us! Let’s pray for one another. We can do this thing!
Isn’t it cool how God uses something so mundane as eating to make us more aware of His presence?
–> Practical Challenge Today:
By imposing self-discipline and losing some weight, we obtain a self-awarded victory that may temporarily provide us with a false sense of superiority or significance. In the process, however, we become self-satisfied and further repress our awareness of the real issues beneath our low self-esteem or discontentedness. GTST, p. 63
legitimately stuck to me for life. I am no longer drinking diet soda at all, let alone in copious quantities–it acted as a diuretic, expelling water from my body–and no longer on a prescribed diuretic besides (since my blood pressure went back to normal). So some of this weight is legitimately MINE. But my eating behaviors were definitely “inflamed.” It was like the rubber band was stretched as tight as it could go after a year of holding it, holding it holding it…then WHAMO!!!!!
Grace is “receiving a gift with open hands:” legalism is “keeping rules with clenched fists.” Grace evokes in us a desire to conform [to Christ, to God’s will]; legalism provokes our desire to perform. Grace allows us to be; legalism compels us to do. Grace redirects our focus away from perfection to correction. When we strive for perfection, we attempt to master and control life by trying to measure up to some external, idealized standard. Striving for perfection, we are living the lie that we can make ourselves more acceptable to ourselves, to others, to God if we just follow the letter of the law. Under grace we are free to turn to God as we really are, free to learn from our mistakes, free to change and grow, and free to allow him to help us become all he intends us to be. Under legalism our response is “have to;” under grace it is “want to.” Under grace we respond out of love, out of our desire to please the one who first loved us. Our inclination springs from a heart yearning to respond to our loving God. GTST, p. 65
