When you get ready to have a movie night at home, you pop a DVD in and what do you do next? No home movie night is complete without…?
It is 12:00 noon…time for…?
Or you go to the movies with a friend and do you sit in the movie empty-handed? Or…?
Or you go to the county or State Fair…other than looking at exhibits and riding rides, what else do you do?
It is holiday time and friends or family gather. What is always a part of the event?
Or you have plans for a Saturday evening and they are canceled…again…what is your response?
You get on the scale and it reads a weight that you aren’t happy with. What then?
Most of these occasions include FOOD no matter what–without regard for physical hunger. If we watch a DVD, we get out the snacks. It is Noon, time for lunch. At the movie theater we get a tub of popcorn and a coke. The State Fair…oh my…weird foods that we look forward to eating because we only get to have them once a year. Who waits for hunger? Getting together with friends or family? Has to be at a restaurant or around a table of *some* kind with a good meal! Saturday evening plans canceled, a feeling of loneliness and we find solace in food. The scale says we are up two pounds and we get discouraged and figure why bother caring and start eating regardless of our body’s need.
There is a mechanism that is in place in our lives…it causes us to go on “auto-pilot” at times.
If we want to support our godly boundaries of eating when we are hungry and stopping when we aren’t hungry any longer, we have to recognize and expose that there are things that cause almost an automated response in us to eat! The Hallidays call this “Fat Machinery” in their books.
Sometimes, “fat machinery” can be like those things I mentioned above. It typically falls into two categories…1.) conditioned responses (like the movie and popcorn) and 2.) emotional stimuli – like a sense of failure, rejection, celebration or loneliness triggering eating responses.
Last week, I wrote the following in my journal:
I wonder if some of my struggle with eating right now has to do with shame I feel from failing–from no longer keeping the weight off…the weight that was kept off for over a year. I am not continuing to gain, thankfully, but I am 10 pounds up from my lowest weight. If I blew it over the holidays–which I did–and gained some back–which I did–and felt ashamed, guilty, and exposed–which I did–then maybe a “fat machinery” is in operation for me. Maybe I am eating now in response to the pain, shame, and guilt and self-contempt that have come as a result of this “failure.”
BINGO!
The sad thing is that my behavior which is sort of automatic–a part of my “fat machinery,” results in yet more shame and guilt! This results in yet more inappropriate eating outside of godly boundaries and it is a downward spiral!
Unless I stop it.
My struggle with my eating in obedience to godly boundaries has definitely been reminiscent of things long ago. Things that, in my pride, I thought were behind me. I think what happened with me is what was described in earlier pages of the Get Thin Stay Thin book and which I blogged about earlier. When I lost all the weight, I had a false sense of value, a false sense of achievement that sort of masked the real underlying issue–that I tend to do things with an eye on my performance and winning approval of others. Because I was “successful” and stayed progressively “successful” early on as I was releasing the weight and as I kept it off, I never realized the underlying issue of looking to others for my sense of worth or value. My false belief (or belief of a lie) that what others may think of me defines who I am and my value, needed to be brought to the surface. God alone defines my worth and value.
So here I am now. Dealing with it…which is a good thing. I guess I can say it is worth it. This is one of those things I mean when I say that “Thin Within isn’t about losing weight.” I mean, we all can lose weight. Most of us have been good at dieting, but we haven’t dealt with the reason we keep returning to the same old eating patterns and habits that have caused us to be overweight or feel bad about ourselves. The underlying reason we keep gaining the weight back again.
This leg of my journey, God is definitely not letting me blow by the real underlying reasons for things. We are going deep, I guess. It isn’t fun and I would sometimes much rather be in my Levis again thinking all is well and good and that I am “successful.”
But the Lord is after Truth. Because Truth is what really sets us free. He is showing me daily that he is more about my heart than he is about my size.
Ever find yourself face first in a package of Oreos and wonder “How did I get here?” Chapter four in Get Thin Stay Thin addresses many of the challenges we face that cause us to eat compulsively. The desire is that we might change things around a bit, and become more present in the moment and aware of the Lord, his sufficiency, his strength and provision for what really ails us.
I am reminded:
It takes courage to receive freedom. It takes courage to change. GTST, p. 79
Since coming off of my over-use of caffeine, there is a bit of extra weight that won’t seem to budge. My wonderfully comfortable Levi jeans that I lived in for over a year after releasing 100 pounds are so snug that I have stopped wearing them. 🙁 I wonder if THIS is my truly *natural* God-given size…and the size I was before was *UN*natural because of the use of caffeine to be there.
A part of me feels drawn to drinking diet soda again (I was never without a can or big 64 oz cup near at hand!)…and just see if I could get back into my jeans again–you know, a sort of experiment. But I know I would be selling out if I did that.
It does take courage to receive freedom. It does take courage to change. I want to fit in those jeans again, darn-it! But at what price? So I press on, steering clear of the stronghold that had me firmly in its clutches for so many years. No diet soda for me…not even a drop. I would never be able to handle it in moderation. The price I pay is to be a size bigger perhaps. That galls me, though…I tell ya!
So what might you have to do to receive freedom? What changes is the Lord beckoning to you to allow Him and His strength to perform in you? 🙂
Some folks feel like some foods are “triggers” for them that cause them to go nuts with certain foods. I realized during this past week that it isn’t the food that is the “trigger.” It is the emotion allowed to go unchecked that is my “trigger.” I love the idea that a food can be a “trigger” because then I can blame the food. But I see that it isn’t the food at all….at least not for me. It is my emotion…accompanied by pride that says, “I can handle this myself, thank you very much,” instead of bowing to the Lord and offering him what I am feeling. Yup, that is my “trigger!”
Yesterday was a good example of this. I was frustrated with my intermittent internet service when I was working on a new website for a new and very valued client. I couldn’t get the work I had done uploaded…ALL DAY. I found myself not giving a flying fig about “0” and eating in response to this frustration. (Seems to me that events like this could also explain the weight not coming off…but let’s not go there…denial is such a nice place to live…err…not…)
The things that stand in the way of applying the principles [Keys to Conscious Eating] and using the hunger scale [the practice of waiting for “0” or true physiological hunger to eat and stopping at a “5” or satisfied] are behaviors we call “Fat Machinery.” Fat machinery is unconscious, automatic, or inappropriate eating that is activated by external or internal stimuli. What this means is that much of our eating is done for the wrong reasons–social pressure, anxiety, frustration, and a variety of emotional stimuli that have nothing to do with our body’s need for nourishment. When we are wrapped up in our grave clothes, our eating is activated by these stimuli and we move through life like robots or automatons, reaching for food unconsciously when someone or something activates our “eat” button. GTST p. 81
Lord, today, I want to be mindful–conscious, aware–of you and of the things that would ordinarily cause me to grab food even when I am not hungry. I feel stressed about the day ahead and I know that this is not from you. That in you there is peace and joy. I give you the concerns I have and ask that you BE Lord. Please move in to my heart and life right now. Help me not to feel the stress of a rushed morning. I want to worship you, Lord…this entire day, I want to live as an offering to you, a praise to my King. I know that when I do this, when I invite you into the present moment, that nothing can lure me to food outside of your godly boundaries, Lord. Thank you for your boundaries that are there to protect me from outside harmful things and to keep me where I need to be to experience Your best for me. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.
Hunger vs. appetite. What are the differences and why does it matter? 🙂 This is a discussion included in the final pages of chapter three of Get Thin Stay Thin.
As the grave clothes are peeled away, you will more easily be able to recognize the difference between [hunger and appetite]. Hunger is a sensation in the body caused by the need for food. Appetite is a habitual desire for some gratification, either of the body or the mind, that has nothing to do with true physiological hunger. Our hunger can be satisfied; our appetite is insatiable. Hunger looks to food to satisfy an appropriate physical need; appetite looks to food to satisfy emotional needs. GTST, p. 71-72
What is it that motivates me to eat in any given moment? Is it hunger–a true physiological need of my body for fuel? Or is it something else–my appetite?
I seem to have a pattern of giving in to eating outside of godly parameters during the later part of the day. I have been evaluating why. I awaken between 4:30 and 5:00 am. I spend time with the Lord in a nice, leisurely quiet time. Often, I may get hungry during this time, but I don’t feel the need to rush to food–even to satisfy physical hunger. It doesn’t bother me to be hungry during this time of the morning. I usually eat by 7:30 am or so…unrushed, feeling quiet and satisfied in my spirit and body.
I typically eat again sometime between 10:30 and noon applying the Keys we have discussed in the past week. So far so good.
Almost daily, however, by 2pm or so things get really fuzzy or even downright rebellious. If not that early, then by dinner time or later. Not every day, but consistently enough to be a pattern.
What is up with this? Why the pattern?
I think it may be related to the performance trap I am constantly sucked into.
You see, first thing in the morning, I am totally aware of God’s grace. Not only that, but I am supposed to be having my quiet time in the morning. There isn’t any sense that I am not doing what I am “supposed” to be doing. I am being a “good girl.” :-/
By mid-afternoon, I have a sense that I am not ok. I haven’t been doingwhat I am supposed to have been doing. Or, I haven’t been doing it well enough. I tend to want to run from this feeling and do so in a variety of ways…when it isn’t nice enough weather for me to ride the horses, I may plunge myself into the internet…trying to find something to be busy doing well online. It might be designing graphics for a client in my website design business, or pretending to…or it might be going to the Thin Within forums blogging or going to others’ blogs to try to be “Super Duper Thin Within Woman” to try to encourage people and feign that I have all the answers. :-/
You see, with a sense of failure, comes self-condemnation. For me, self-condemnation “triggers” eating, too. So if other things fail to distract or numb me from the “pain” of my failures and self-condemnation that arises as the day goes on, I may resort to eating that rides along the edge of yet more “failure.” In other words, my resolve found early in the day when I had a fresh slate and no sense of failure, erodes. By the end of the day, I end up reporting to my accountability partner and discover, again, I have followed a pattern of “stellar” eating up until mid-afternoon but have bellied up before the day is done.
God is calling me to disrupt this pattern. Obviously, the best place to disrupt it, is at its heart…this sense of performance and failure to perform adequately and the subsequent self-condemnation–the appetite that I have to be “acceptable” and the lie I believe that I am not.
I am going through the book and workbook The Search for Significance and highly recommend these. They dovetail beautifully with the Get Thin Stay Thin book. I figure that the Lord really desires that I get this. He wants me to understand that I have been caught in this performance mentality for far too long. It sets off condemnation and guilt that triggers numbing out behaviors. The Lord wants me free from this!
Can you identify with this cycle, too? Do you begin the day well and by mid-afternoon or after the kids go to bed at night find yourself face-first in a bag of Oreos? Or immersed in something that you know isn’t God’s best for you in an attempt not to feel pain of some sort?
Let’s look straight into our “failures” and disappointments today. Obviously, many of us have an appetite for approval, to feel good about ourselves…and when that appetite for approval hangs empty like an unanswered question, not satisfied (and does it ever really get quelled?), we turn to other things to either stuff a counterfeit into that hole or to subdue the pain of the emptiness.
Today, I think I will try a couple of things differently. I will plan to be still before I eat after 2pm today. I may journal, pray, sing praises to God…or just sit in His presence and bask in His unconditional approval granted through Christ on the cross. I will enjoy 5 minutes (or more) of delaying eating so I can be still and know that He is God. The very thing that seems to satisfy my soul in the wee hours of the morning, enabling me to not rush to eat even when physiologically hungry…because I would rather not disrupt my quiet time with Him…I will try a bit of time with Him before I eat. (The Keys to Conscious Eating, when applied, were designed to foster this, in fact!)
I also want to DEAL with the things that cause me to gravitate toward food (or the internet)…and that means dealing with my sense of failure. I want to ask the Lord how HE would have me use my day…what HE wants of me. There may be (there is) some sin in my life about not using my time in a way that the Lord wants me to. While I know that I have HIS approval in Christ and I can’t convince Him by my performance to love me, I also know that He has a will for my time. I want to do AND be that to which he calls. If I prayerfully evaluate how I use my time and rest in HIS perfect 100% approval of me in Christ, perhaps I can allow Him to cut out the cancer that causes me to reach for the band-aids by mid-afternoon.
Lord, please hear my heart. I pray that you will lead me today. Each moment, Lord…I want to live each one as an offering to you. I want my heart to be convinced of your perfect approval given to me in Christ. I thank you for this grace. Lord, let me be aware of your presence and your love this day. Keep me from trying to impress you, Lord…or from a sense that I have disappointed you. Thank you that you are doing a new thing in me this day. I sense it. Thank you for the hope I have in You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Practical challenge: Apply the Keys To Conscious Eating or the Principles for Weight Mastery (same 8 principles).
Let me know how YOU are doing! I am praying for you! 🙂
Do you ever resent your taste buds for preferring hot fudge sundaes over celery? All because you feel “I can’t ‘afford’ the calories of the sundae!”
Or have you ever felt contempt for your body because it is signaling hunger, but you have run out of “points” and can’t eat any more today without going “off program?”
Most of us who struggle with disordered eating battle a sense of contempt and resentment toward our bodies. We feel betrayed by our bodies.
We fail to see that diets often lead us further into the very thing we want to be healed of!
Dieting entrenches us further in legalism and self-contempt.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to “go there” ever again and, as one free in Christ, I know that He won’t lead me to that place again either!
The Keys to Conscious Eating… …preserve our freedom because they respect the truth of how God made our bodies. They reflect our natural, God-given ability to determine our hunger and to choose to satisfy it appropriately. GTST, p. 70
What is the difference between laws and guidelines? 🙂 I think sometimes it is how we respond to them! Most of us have a TON of experience with diet rules and laws. We know what it is like to derive our sense of self-worth or value from how well we uphold the diet rules or laws, too. That is clearly legalism and typically it ends up making us feel a sense of condemnation. There is only SO long that we can uphold all the rules before we begin to break under the pressure.
When that happens, we often become convinced that we are failures and this belief of a lie (from the pit of hell) further perpetuates disordered eating…
The pendulum has swung again…from legalism to license…with the club of condemnation beating us over the heads again and again!
ENOUGH! I am so tired of that! Are you?
The principles are an invitation to engage in eating behavior that, without constraining us, will conform us from within because they permit us to treat our bodies with the same high regard that God has for us. GTST, p. 70
With these facts in mind, let us continue with these practical challenges:
Continue with Key to Conscious Eating #1 – eat only when my body is physically hungry.
Continue Key to Conscious Eating #2 – Reduce the number of distractions in order to eat in a calm environment.
Continue Key to Conscious Eating #3 – Eat only when sitting down.
Continue Key to Conscious Eating #4 – Eat only when your mind and body are relaxed.
Continue Key to Conscious Eating #5 – Eat and drink only the food and beverages that I enjoy.
Continue Key to Conscious Eating #8 – Stop before my body is full.
In addition, let’s add the final two Keys to Conscious Eating:
Practice Key to Conscious Eating #6 – Pay attention only to my food when eating.
Practice Key to Conscious Eating #7 – Eat slowly savoring each bite.
If you are someone who does well with charts and would like a chart that can help you keep track of your growth in applying these keys to conscious eating, you can download this Observation and Correction Chart, print it out and use it.
Here is a sample that has been filled out after a day. Click on the image to enlarge it so you can read my writing. 🙂 I have made notes on it to show you what it means. 🙂 First, I personalized it by drawing lines for each eating occasion. Whether it is a sit-down meal with family, going out, or a “quick” snack….every “eating occasion” counts and I want to apply the principles. Even if it is a few almonds to shave the edge off my hunger while I wait for the family to arrive for our lunch together, I want to sit down, focus on my food, be at a “0”, and all the other keys to conscious eating. Other notes, I have made in the margin. The idea is that I use this chart to make observations about my behavior. I do this without judgment. Then, I can plan corrections…what I need to work on. After a day, I have a good grasp on the fact that choosing foods I like isn’t a problem, but eating slowly definitely is a challenge for me! I might want to take these observations into my next eating occasion and plan strategies for slowing my eating down–like taking sips of water between bites, putting my fork down, avoiding “finger foods”–using silverware for everything 🙂 — that sort of thing.
Just a WARNING: It is our tendency to turn anything God intends to be a blessing into something different! You and I could easily turn these guidelines–the Keys to Conscious Eating–into DIET laws. Please don’t do this! Prayerfully ask the Lord to allow you to experience grace to to walk free from pride (when you apply the keys) or its opposite, condemnation (when you don’t). He wants you to experience freedom! If you have a dieting, graphing, charting, obsessing background, please especially be prayerful about whether or not you should use a chart just yet!
Grace…allow yourself to believe that God’s view of you isn’t dependent on how you eat or what size you are. You can take THIS moment captive for Him and rejoice that the God of the universe is totally, 100% mindful of you, and loves you. He sent His Son so that NO condemnation would hinder his love relationship with you. His love is never-ending and He knows everything about you. Before you ever had a single God-ward thought, he chose you to belong to Him.
Today I want to focus a bit on the mechanics introduced in Chapter 3 of Get Thin Stay Thin. We have been looking at a new Key to Conscious Eating each day. Let’s review them so far and press on with applying ourselves to doing them today…
–> Practical Challenge Today:
Continue with Key to Conscious Eating #1 – eat only when my body is physically hungry.
Continue Key to Conscious Eating #2 – Reduce the number of distractions in order to eat in a calm environment.
Continue Key to Conscious Eating #3 – Eat only when sitting down.
Continue Key to Conscious Eating #4 – Eat only when your mind and body are relaxed.
So far, the keys haven’t sprained our brains particularly. Sure, we may think there has to be more to it, but none of these keys fly in the face of all the “diet wisdom” that is out there, per say. For some folks reading this blog, the key we add today may. (More on this in a minute!)
Practice Key to Conscious Eating #5 – Eat and drink only the food and beverages that I enjoy.
It is important not to toss out Keys 1-4 when doing this! Key #5 is meant to be practiced with all the other keys in place. Otherwise, the result will be a foodfest! NOT what we are after! 🙂
In fact, let’s get ahead of ourselves for just a moment and introduce Key #8 as well…I highly recommend practicing this key when practicing key #5. There HAS to be a stopping place! 🙂
Practice Key to Conscious Eating #8 – Stop before my body is full.
You can wait until you are hungry. You can have a calm, peaceful environment, sit down and have everything right with the world, enjoy foods you love, but if you don’t have an appropriate stopping place, you will still gain weight.
Backing up to Key #5 – eating what you enjoy – this means anything. If you love salad, go ahead and eat it if you are hungry. If you hate it, don’t! If you enjoy full-fat ice cream, eat it when you are hungry! If you don’t love it, don’t eat it. Just be sure you check in with your body FIRST. Are you hungry? Physically empty? At a true “0?” Then that is the green light to eat, but you want to be sure to do so calmly and quietly, sitting down, inviting the Lord with you into the meal/snack. As you eat, check in with your body and be sure to stop eating when you are no longer hungry.
This is where some people raise the red flags and say “Hold on! If I eat anything I want, I will be eating hot fudge sundaes, cheese enchiladas and the list is endless! I will gain weight, not lose it!” If you ignore your body’s signal that it is satisfied, then that will be true. By being calm, sitting down, focusing on your food and inviting God into the meal, though, you will know when you are approaching satisfied and be able to stop. Being willing may be another story.
We have to realize that it isn’t a particular food that makes us over-weight.
What makes us over-weight is eating too much of any food! (Even diet foods!)
If diets and diet foods worked for losing weight, then since the advent of diet drinks, non-fat dressings, and low-calorie cookies and so forth, we should have become people with fewer weight problems! The exact opposite is true, however. We continue to have more obesity, obesity related health problems and yet diet foods are in abundance! We may be eating our “reduced fat” Oreos, but in increased quantities. Half the fat so twice as many!
Instead of focusing on the food, let’s allow God to transform our hearts. That is why I have been studying the Get Thin Stay Thin book. This book speaks to my need to allow God to change me from within, inviting me to intimacy with the Creator of the Universe and intimacy with other people. God wants to heal the wounds of my past and present while inviting me into vital, rich relationships now that are grounded in and by Him.
As I prevail myself upon God’s grace, I can enjoy any food that my body desires withing godly boundaries of physical hunger and satisfaction. This is, in fact, how I lost 100 pounds. I never ate a single salad, rice cake, or a single YoPlait yogurt! I continued to eat foods I loved, but in moderation–according to my body’s signals.
Practically, what I have found is that foods with more fat in them tend to sustain me longer…I am not hungry again as soon. Foods that are lower in fat content (like salsa!) don’t sustain me as long. My body knows how often it needs fuel. My body processes the food I eat and as long as I respect the signals of hunger and satisfaction, I will continue to release extra weight until I am at my God-intended size no matter what food I eat. The key isn’t what I eat. It is why–and how much. The why should always be connected to my body’s need for fuel. The how much is, too!
As a person progresses in this process, we begin to want to exercise more discretion…but that is a discussion for another time. Right now, allow yourself to experience the flavors of all the wonderful foods that are available to enjoy. Just do so with an appropriate boundary: physical need–as indicated by the body’s signals of hunger and satisfaction.
The principles are not fixed formulas or rigid rules. They are guidelines that involve choices. To be under grace is freedom–we have the privilege of seeing God’s design for ordered eating and then choosing. God honors us with the freedom to fail and succeed as we risk living a life of faith. As we begin to practice the principles, we will see that God is calling us to surrender to a growing up, a maturing process. This is a challenge that calls us to have the courage to step out of our grave clothes of legalism and allow God to conform us from within. GTST, p. 70
How are you doing with eating only when hungry? Truthfully, I bellied up last night. I had a huge emotional hit and rather than running to God with my concern and vulnerability, I ran to food. It amazes me that I still do this after all this time.
So, observe and correct. Today, I anticipate that there will continue to be strong emotions…I will have a plan in place. I will cling to the Lord today before the emotions hit. I will plan time into this very busy, demanding day, to be still and alone with him to reconnect.
–> Practical Challenge Today:
Continue with Key to Conscious Eating #1 – eat only when my body is physically hungry.
Continue Key to Conscious Eating #2 – Reduce the number of distractions in order to eat in a calm environment.
Continue Key to Conscious Eating #3 – Eat only when sitting down.
Add Key to Conscious Eating #4 – Eat only when your mind and body are relaxed.
Practically speaking, eating only when our minds are relaxed can be a huge challenge. Yet if we take a moment to “Be Still and know that He is God…” we can allow His peace to permeate any moment.
For me, this is best accomplished by taking time to invite God’s blessing on my time with Him, with whomever I may be eating with, on the affect of the food in my body–not in the rote, quickie, disconnected “toss up a prayer for the food” sort of way…but where I really focus on becoming aware that he is my meal companion for *any* meal. He, who calms the greatest storms of life, can calm what is going on in me. This, too, becomes a godly boundary–not to have food cross my lips until I am in a place of peace.
Obviously, I need to work on this! How about you? 🙂
More from Chapter 3 of Get Thin Stay Thin…
The idea of applying “Keys to Conscious Eating” seems sort of “loosey goosey” for those of us who come from a dieting background. With all the current “medical” and “scientific” literature on the subject, we are just convinced that these guidelines can’t possibly be what it takes for us to get/be healthy! Truthfully, these principles can pave the way, though, not only to physical health, but emotional and spiritual health as well!
In using a grace-oriented approach to our bodies and our struggles with food, we are released from our tenacious tendency to wrap ourselves up in rules, regulations and performance…Through grace we can begin to honor the natural response to our body’s hunger signals and our ability to be satisfied with an appropriate amount of food…we relinquish our reliance on legalistic controls that circumvent our bodies’ messages, and we cultivate a moment-by-moment attentiveness to the Holy Spirit. GTST, p. 65-66
I love this explanation. When God created me, he created my body to send messages. When I need sleep, I get tired. When I get hurt, I feel pain. When I am in need of fuel, I get hungry. When I no longer need fuel, I am satiated.
The approach encouraged in Thin Within and Get Thin Stay Thin honors and respects my body and the marvelous creation of God that it is with the signals it uses. I no longer ignore hunger. I no longer stifle hunger. I respond to it with respect, by feeding it. I don’t ignore satisfaction…I respect and honor it by stopping eating.
If you are new to this approach, I hope you will take the Hallidays’ invitation that follows below very personally…This is a Divine Appointment! God ordained that you might read these words RIGHT NOW! :-)…:
…you are about to abandon legalism and learn an entirely new way of relating to food, eating, and your body. [Some of us are relearning it! That’s ok!] It means that you can develop the ability to eat what, when, and how much God directs you to eat. During this process you will rediscover the delights of good food and experience the joy of being the size God designed you to be. This new relationship is characterized by honor for the temple of the Holy Spirit–your body. In honoring your body you are guided by principles that support the delight you have in good food and the pleasure you enjoy in partaking of God’s gifts. GTST, p. 66
I would add something else to this invitation…you will…we will…depend on the Lord develop an entirely new level of intimacy with the One who shaped the heavens and who loves us unconditionally–who knows us and values us!
This is an adventure, a journey…and each time we feel derailed, distracted, off on a rabbit trail, he gently guides and directs us back again.
When you get ready to have a movie night at home, you pop a DVD in and what do you do next? No home movie night is complete without…?
Most of these occasions include FOOD no matter what–without regard for physical hunger. If we watch a DVD, we get out the snacks. It is Noon, time for lunch. At the movie theater we get a tub of popcorn and a coke. The State Fair…oh my…weird foods that we look forward to eating because we only get to have them once a year. Who waits for hunger? Getting together with friends or family? Has to be at a restaurant or around a table of *some* kind with a good meal! Saturday evening plans canceled, a feeling of loneliness and we find solace in food. The scale says we are up two pounds and we get discouraged and figure why bother caring and start eating regardless of our body’s need.
thankfully, but I am 10 pounds up from my lowest weight. If I blew it over the holidays–which I did–and gained some back–which I did–and felt ashamed, guilty, and exposed–which I did–then maybe a “fat machinery” is in operation for me. Maybe I am eating now in response to the pain, shame, and guilt and self-contempt that have come as a result of this “failure.”
looking to others for my sense of worth or value. My false belief (or belief of a lie) that what others may think of me defines who I am and my value, needed to be brought to the surface. God alone defines my worth and value.
