Without the boundary of this fence, Daisy, my golden retriever, would (no doubt) get even CLOSER to this buck than you see in this image. From her perspective, I have little doubt that the fence “stands in the way” of much fun! The truth is, the fence–a boundary–keeps harm out (deer can be deadly) and keeps what is worth protecting safe within–safe from straying.
This week, you will develop your plan including having a good look at your own boundaries relative to your Thin Within journey. We will use a lot of Barb’s material to help with this. Before you go on over to her site, though, I want to lay some ground work.
Please watch this short (4 minute) video first:
To register for this week’s class Wednesday at 3:00pm Pacific Time (OR the digital recording), please visit this link: http://www.anymeeting.com/PIID=E956D880834D3A NOTE: When you select a password, please do NOT forget it! It will be necessary for you to access the class AND the digital recording after the class is over!
Take a moment to jot down in your journal (or think about) what you think is true about boundaries. Do you believe that they are there to protect you? To keep OUT influences that could damage you? To keep you IN, from wandering off on a path that would be destructive for you?
Or are you more likely to consider boundaries with resentment–as something that denies you something as if “God is holding out” on you?
Ask God to show you the truth about boundaries. Jot down what he impresses upon you. You might want to put them in your index cards if you are using them: “What is true about boundaries in my life.”
IMPORTANT: When I reference you to a page at Barb’s site, please know that there is a TON of incredible material there. For the purposes of our study, though, I will include the links here each week for any of the pages that are “vital” to our study this summer. The other links, you are welcome, of course, to explore. But please know that with so much wonderful material at her site, you can spend HOURS on it! ALL of it is good. Do what you feel God leading you to do of course, but any page that I think is foundational to our study here this summer, I will include as you will see below. For this week’s assignment, please be sure to do any of the linked pages that I include.
This has several parts to it, so please spread it out over the week:
1.) In her post under THE PLAN, Barb links you to her post about boundaries. You can read that or not, but most of the information that you need is likely to be in the video above. So if you are short on time, you don’t need to read it.
2.) She also includes a link to a post on secondary boundaries. Unless what I have shared in the video is “murky,” you probably don’t need to read that post either. If you are short on time, I think you will be ok without reading that, though it is definitely helpful! For our purposes, if you are uncertain about what might help you to maintain your primary boundary of 0 to 5 eating, you can use the Keys to Conscious Eating. Keys 1 and 8 are the primary boundary. Keys 2 – 7 are ideas for secondary boundaries. If you are using a set of spiral bound index cards or using a binder ring with index cards (whatever your method), then you might want to write down on a card “MY PRIMARY BOUNDARY: _________________.” And on another card “MY SECONDARY BOUNDARIES: ____________________” I don’t recommend more than 2 or 3 secondary boundaries and you can add new ones or change them as you go.
3.) Barb also has a link to Renewing the Mind Goal. THIS ONE, IS IMPORTANT TO OUR STUDY this summer. In fact, it is foundational to our summer study. So please DO read it and do the activities. (Yes, I just included the link to the same page THREE times. I don’t want you to miss it, that this is important.) There are lots of great links even in the post on the renewing of the mind goal. Again, the links to other posts are helpful, but not vital, so if you are short on time, don’t do them. If you are using a set of index cards that are hole-punched or spiral bound, then write your Renewing of the Mind Goal down on your cards. If you aren’t using the cards, that is ok. But I suggest you jot it down somewhere. NOTE: In our online class last week, we had the pleasure of having Barb Raveling in attendance (you can still get the recording of the class if you want). I realized as she shared that my way of thinking about the renewing of the mind goal was different than what she speaks of in her blog. Maybe *both* can work. My way of thinking of it has been to pick something that you know you need to think differently about, like, for instance, “I need to think differently about having sweet foods after lunch and dinner.” What I want to think instead about desserts is that “I can live without desserts.” Another one might be, “It takes less food than I think to satisfy me.” So my goal is to change my thinking about dessert or about portions. Barb’s use of it is helpful in being quantifiable…”I will renew my mind twice each day about dessert/portion size.” You can use a combination of both ways of thinking if you like or just use Barb’s mentioned in her post!
4.) Under her heading THE CHALLENGE, you can have a look at her post about 8 Questions to Ask When You Don’t Want to Renew Your Mind. This isn’t required, but it can be EXTREMELY helpful. (I have not included the link because I will include the link to the pages directly only if they are foundational to our study.) I have written these 8 questions down in my card set as I think they are so good.
5.) Do her ASSIGNMENT in her Day One post, including her #2 item: Working With God on Your Goal.This was originally intended, I think, for New Years, but it is helpful to our summer study. All of this work right now is to lay the foundation for our summer study. Doing this work will be very helpful. Future assignments (starting next week) won’t be as lengthy (I think!).
6.) Continuing on her Day One study, you will want to complete the Following Your Boundaries Questions questions. PLEASE don’t skip this set of questions as, again, this is foundational to the rest of the summer. In fact, you might want to keep these questions handy. Any time you find yourself not wanting to adhere to your 0 to 5 boundaries and your secondary boundaries, pulling out these questions can help you get focused again, willing again!
7.) I would love to hear from you in the COMMENTS below about any of the following:
What is your Renewing of the Mind Goal?
What secondary boundaries have you selected that will support your primary boundary of eating 0 to 5?
Which of her renewing of the mind tools will be helpful to you?
8.) If you would like, attend the class this Wednesday at 3pm-4pm Pacific time to discuss this material. The class costs $5. If you can’t attend, but want the digital recording of the class, the cost is the same. Both those who want to attend the class live and those who want the recording only, will need to register at http://www.anymeeting.com/AccountManager/RegEv.aspx?PIID=E956D880834D3A
But before you read on, please know that WE ALL ARE DIFFERENT. My body has different requirements than yours. In fact, now, a long time after this was posted initially, my body might respond differently than what I share here. Our bodies are FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made!
The reason I share this is because many of us think our bodies need a lot more food than they really might need. So just prayerfully consider this, ok? 🙂 You might want to evaluate if the amounts of food you think you need is based on truth or not. If not, then renew your mind about that! 🙂
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Hubby has been observing my eating and releasing of weight for over a year. He mentioned last night that had he not seen it, he never would have imagined that someone could survive on so little food. But he sees me doing precisely that. He suggested I take before and after pictures…but of FOOD portions!
So for fun :-), I am chronicling that today–what I am eating and what I would have prepared for myself in the past to show the differences. He is helping me to serve up the “before” servings so I don’t fail to include as MUCH as I used to eat. This is what we have so far:
In October of 2006, I would have easily chowed down what we have in the photo above–three donuts and at least one tall glass of 2% milk (if not two glasses!).
There is nothing at all wrong with donuts. Donuts are good, they are our friend :-), but I would have eaten THREE easily and been stuffed to the gills…and not given a flying fig! It takes a lot of food to sustain 250 pounds. So, this would have been the ticket to start the day.
This morning, what I actually served myself is seen in this photo above. I love love love winter wheat bread, slathered in peanut butter, sprinkled generously with granola complete with almonds in it. This is chased with a small half mug of milk. YUM! This is a whole body pleaser for me. I find that if I start the day with a donut now, I crash and burn quickly. I *can* do that if I want, but I don’t feel it is the best thing. “Permissible” yes, but not beneficial. In fact, sometimes I have a donut for “second breakfast” but that is another story! I didn’t eat for the first time until 9am this morning…which would typically be about the time I get to a 0 for “second breakfast!”
LOL! So…when I was all done eating breakfast, the photo above shows what was left after I ate.
Presto! I went from 0–totally empty, to a “I am not hungry any more” and I call that a 5 or satisfied. I used to have a really hard time “finding” 5…I discovered that it was a place I would fudge quite a bit…to see how much I could *stuff* in before going too far. Now I generally stop where I am comfortable…and that is marked by not being hungry any more. It makes it much simpler.
My husband pointed out that the amount of food it takes to sustain a healthy person really is not much at all. The problem is we WANT to eat more! We WANT to be able to justify it! But our bodies are SO efficient!
This isn’t about anorexia either. If I get hungry, I am delighted to go eat whatever I desire. My goal, however, is to stop when I am not hungry any more or move around rigorously (cantering on one of my horses?) without having that erppy, burppy feeling that comes from jostling a stomach that is too full. Does that make sense? 🙂
So lunch in the past would have been at least what is pictured above. This is four pieces of pizza on a dinner plate with a couple of tablespoons of real butter for spreading on the crusts. Each and every bit of food would be gone…and probably a bit more than this. I would have gone back for more! Again, this is what I served myself in the PAST. I would probably read while I ate it, too, and not even “register” in my mind that I was eating. I wouldn’t enjoy my food. I would inhale it instead. I would probably have “dessert” afterwards. After all, eating lunch and dinner always were followed by something sweet–often a heaping bowl of ice cream. Nothing wrong with pizza, donuts, ice cream. But that was a LOT of food!
Above is what I actually served myself today when I was at a 0 at noon. Two pieces of pizza and about one tablespoon of butter (yes, the real thing) on a salad plate. I prefer to serve myself food on a salad plate.
One other note about this pizza. In the past, we would have gotten a Papa Murphy’s pizza. I don’t know about you all, but I have noticed how grease pools on it–a LOT. It even grosses my kids out! (You know there is a problem when your child starts blotting grease off the pizza and you never taught her to do that!) So, we use Boboli pizza crusts and each person gets what they want on their pizza and the amount of cheese they want. I feel a lot better about that choice for a pizza than about the oozing goozing liquid orange grease all over the plate kind. Nothing wrong with that, per say. This is a choice we make.
My son pointed out that the Papa Murphy’s pizzas are so much bigger, too. I had forgotten about that. So, anyhow, while this may not be on anyone’s “wholesome food” list, it is definitely a step upwards from Papa Murphy’s or Round Table. My family even agrees!
Above shows what was left of my lunch today after I was through. As you can see, I didn’t eat all that I served myself. There is almost one full piece of the two I served myself left. (Bits from both pieces as I had to have the crust…my favorite part. Gosh! I even left some of the butter! LOL!)
I have a policy of leaving some food on my plate no matter how little I serve myself. It keeps me from a sense of entitlement eating at other times and it diminishes the likelihood of greed. Besides that, the dogs like the results of Mom eating this way!
In fact, I recently put my dogs on a “diet” so they could still enjoy the table scraps they get. I figure dog food meal after meal can’t give them all the nutrients they need. It has to be far better for them to get a bit of cheese, bread, granola and peanut butter on occasion, ya think? They agree!!!
So, I hope this little food log of sorts helps show some of the differences that I have made in my eating.
What do you think…are there changes to your portions that you might be able to make? Do you need to renew your mind about how much food you think it takes to satisfy your body? What IF you were to give yourself less food? What IF you were to leave some of it on your plate each time? What do you think?
I get so much encouragement from you all. Sometimes, you encourage me in your texts or emails. Sometimes in your comments here. I want to share some of these tidbits of encouragement with anyone who comes to the blog.
Last week, Michelle posted a comment that bears highlighting.
When faced with an “opportunity” to eat something–anything–when you are not hungry, but especially when a sudden “surprise goody” is made available, ask yourself this:
“If I eat that, then what?”
Will I only eat one (whatever it is)? Or will that send me down the path of eating even more? What will the rest of the day look like if I continue that way?
What if I were to, instead, invite God into this moment? Could it be an opportunity to grow in my intimacy with him?
Thanks, Michelle!
Adriane created another Sound Cloud file that I must share with you!
We have to hang in there. We *can* do this. We *can* train ourselves in godliness. Adriane points this out beautifully!
You have courageously and energetically run errands all day.
The day has been productive! You are pleased with all that you accomplished.
Now, you are headed for home, returning as the “conquering hero” having defeated the “To Do” list that loomed larger than life at dawn’s first light.
Negotiating the curb into the driveway, before you get to the front door, the scent of chocolate chip cookies wafts across the air, superseding even the floral scent of the gardenias. Instantly, your mouth is flooded with liquid anticipation!
Stepping inside, you survey the kitchen. Eyes scan the counter-top. Evidence indicates that your teen-aged daughter has dealt with her after school snack needs by making chocolate chip cookies which are still warm on the cookie sheet. Only one cookie is missing…your daughter’s modest “snack” which, you quickly muse, “She never learned that from me!”
Yummy food! Yours for the taking!
What happens next?
If this happened to you, what really wouldhappen next?
We could have a plan in place for our victory! I would love to see in the comments below what plan, what action steps, might enable you to emerge from this altercation the victor!
Of course, this could become one of those “Yummy Food Eating” or “Good Food Eating” moments that we studied in Barb Raveling’s bible study. It is also what we might consider “Head Hunger.” The food is there, the moment is ripe, we want it. (I can almost hear Gollum from Lord of the Rings rasping his “The Preccccciousssss….we wants it we does…”)
There isn’t really anything necessarily deeper operating. No feeling of “I deserve this!” or “I am angry at my husband for the comment he made about my hips. I’ll show HIM!” 🙂 This time, there isn’t any “poor me” thoughts. No, we didn’t have a terrible day, we don’t feel sad, frustrated or have any other obvious emotion. We just see the food and want it. In fact, chocolate chip cookies weren’t on our minds until we smelled them.
What is true at moments like this:
1.) We don’t have to eat every good thing that we stumble upon.
2.) If I am not physically hungry food–no matter how good it may be–won’t taste nearly as good as it will if I wait until I am physically (stomach empty) hungry to eat it!
3.) The chocolate chip cookies (or whatever food it is) are not going to disappear from the planet. This isn’t my last opportunity ever to enjoy chocolate chip cookies (or other tasty morsel of choice).
4.) Right now may seem like an opportune moment to violate my boundaries, but what will be my standard for upholding them? Will I ever feel like upholding my boundaries? If I wait until I never am tempted to break them to maintain them, what might happen? How will I feel and what impact will it have on my physical, emotional, and spiritual health?
Head hunger can come out of nowhere, so it helps to have a plan of action in place ahead of time. Remember these truths:
Giving in to desire eating (a response to head hunger) will not further me down the path of godliness and it will not work the changes inside and out that I desire.
Giving in to desire eating will not train me for the next time I am tempted. In fact, now is a great time to learn to say no to my flesh. If I keep saying yes to my desires, they will rule me.
If I say no to desire eating, I will be able to rejoice in my obedience and know I did what was best for myself physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
If I can find the strength in this moment to say no to temptation, the intensity of the temptation will subside.
I can act NOW while the willingness to be obedient to God is strong and either on my own or with the help from a family member (or friend, depending on the situation) remove the temptation. (At Halloween, this may mean flushing the candy down the toilet! With these chocolate chip cookies, it may mean sticking them in a freezer bag and putting them in the freezer).
What else is true when you say no to your flesh and yes to God by not eating in response to desire (when stomach hunger isn’t present)?
{Note: If you are someone who has a history of not eating enough to sustain your body’s needs, the authors of Healthy Eating Abundant Living encourage you to allow Head Hunger to get you on track again. I would suggest praying and asking God to give you the strength to eat when you need it and the food sounds appealing. Anyone with a history of overeating, you may be prone to want to see yourself in this category. Ask the Lord to show you if this does, indeed fit.]
This week we have had the opportunity to look at the freedom we are invited to experience in setting aside dieting rules, dieting laws, dieting “Good Foods” and “Bad Foods” lists and dare to trust the God who created our bodies fearfully and wonderfully.
Is Psalm 139 beginning to take root in your heart? Do you believe you are fearfully and wonderfully made?
In the material we studied this week, what resonated for you? If you aren’t doing the book or your book hasn’t arrived yet, share what rang true for you or was impressed upon you here at the blog or in the comments. So much wonderful discussion has been going on! I would love to hear from you about it!
Have you been a “die hard” dieter in the past?
Are your dieting thoughts affecting you even now as you try to set them aside?
Do you have an accountability partner yet? If you go to the Accountability page here at the website, post your information and if you see someone you might like to connect with in email, please send me an email. Please don’t post to me in the comments on that page, as I probably won’t see it in a timely manner. Shoot me an email instead.
Turn to page 36 and have a look at the HEAL pyramid. You will refer to that during this video. If you don’t have the book, I think you will be able to visualize the pyramid just fine as I describe it. You will want to have your book or a journal to write down responses to the questions as we go through.
FOUNDATION – Relationship with God. When you get to the spot in the video, turn off the video, pray, then write down what God is leading you to establish as a goal for this level of the HEAL pyramid. What goal will you have for your relationship with God? We would love to hear in the comments, too. What action steps will enable you to realize your goal?
Second Level – Relationship with FOOD. Again, when you get to the spot in the video, stop, pray, and then write down what God is leading you to establish as a goal for your relationship with food. What action steps will enable you to realize your goal?
Third Level – Hunger/Fullness Eating. In the video, I indicate when to stop. Then pray and jot down what God wants for you in this area of your life. What action steps (or perhaps secondary boundaries) will enable you to achieve this goal?
Tip top level – Beneficial Food Choices. I urge you to approach this category with caution. If you have a history of obsession with dieting, it may not be time for you to establish a goal for this area. You want to learn to trust the Lord that you can eat anything between the parameters of 0 and 5 or hunger and satisfaction.
I hope that you have experienced God’s personal leading as you have established your goals in each of the areas of the HEAL pyramid. Please feel free to allow God to lead you to adjust these as we continue.
I would love to hear what your goals are! Let us know in the comments which area of the HEAL pyramid and what your goal is. If you like, share your action steps, too. In fact, you could use this for your accountability with your partner, too, if you like.
