I have worked through all four of the Thin Within workbooks.
I have worked through the Thin Within book.
I have led Thin Within groups three times in the last ten years.
I am a certified Wellness Coach and Pilates instructor.
I teach.
I KNOW this stuff!
And yes, here I am, still yearning for freedom, still waiting on God. Still wondering when I will be set free from struggling with excess eating and excess body weight.
Perhaps it’s precisely because I am immersed in the world of fitness that I am easily distracted and find it hard to keep my eyes fixed on the path that I know is the only way to freedom in this.
A few months ago I invested in a season of private coaching with Heidi Bylsma; a very wise decision! I remember sending her my daily logs with my “hunger numbers”—almost always reporting 0 to 5 eating. And yet I saw no weight loss and felt no progress happening. Heidi pointed out the discrepancy. ☺ As is the way of a good coach, Heidi put the observation out there and left it to me to wrestle with: “Brenda, you report eating within your chosen boundary of 0 to 5 on a consistent basis, yet you say you are not seeing the results you’d hoped for.”
In my wrestling, I decided I needed to more clearly define a “5.” Obviously I was eating past 5, so in my mind the solution was to get better at stopping at a 5.
One morning God turned the light on for me; all I had worked on with Heidi became clear as I read through the book of Joshua.
I came to the part where the land is being divided up between the tribes of Israel. I noticed how clear and precise the boundaries were and I started thinking how boundaries are important to God—God gives us boundaries for our safety, health and because He knows what is truly good for us.
In Joshua 18 the Scripture tells us that there were still seven Israelite tribes who had not received their inheritance. And Joshua says to them, ” How long will you wait before you begin to take possession of the land that the Lord the God of your ancestors has given you?”
God spoke to me through that—How long am I going to wait until I do MY part to take possession of the freedom that God has given me?
It’s my inheritance!
God has given it to me, but it is up to me to do my due diligence and receive what God has for me.
For me, at this point in my journey, trying to more precisely define a “5” on the hunger scale is not where God wants my focus.
I believe He is showing me that my part is to do what it takes to place myself before Him every single day for the renewing of my mind; soaking in the truth of His Word, writing Truth Cards as a daily practice, being honest about where I am spiritually and what I am doing, as well as what I am eating.
Sunday morning at church God again spoke to me—this time through a guest speaker. She was teaching from Genesis chapters 2 and 3, and she came to Chapter 3 verses 8 and 9, where Adam and Eve have disobeyed God and eaten from the one tree in the garden that He had forbidden. In verse 9 God calls out to Adam, saying, “Where are you?
I believe that God is asking that of me as well. “Where are you with ME, Brenda?” Are you living in all the abundance I have given you, or are you in a place of rebellion? What tree are you choosing?”
To me it’s a really big deal is that I finally have taken my eyes off of seeking weight loss above everything– although I haven’t given up and I do still want it. It’s that now I am seeking FIRST the kingdom of God; seeking GOD through specific, daily practices so that my focus turns away from food and body obsession.
I have learned that the daily practices of prayer, Bible reading, writing and reading Truth Cards, praising God in song, lifting my face to Him will bring about the renewing of my mind and the transforming of my heart, my body, and my life. And then eating within the boundaries of 0 to 5 will be a natural result of my decision to claim my inheritance and choose the abundant life He alone offers.
~ Brenda Ameli. Brenda lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, teaching mind body movement and leading the women’s ministry at her church.
How About You?
Is it possible that “thin” or “0” or “5” has actually become a distraction from what God wants for you? Does God want you to focus elsewhere? What might responding to His invitation in this look like for you?
On Saturday, I posted that I am declaring war on apathy. Even veterans find they can slip into periods of apathy or…downright disobedience. One of my new strategies for amping up my focus is to call it what it is…rebellion, resistance, disobedience. I know what God has called me to. Allowing myself to justify “little waverings” outside of his call is flat out disobedience.
So, my battle plan is concrete, specific.
One part of it requires that I journal two sets of questions from Barb Ravelings book, I Deserve a Donut and Other Lies that Make You Eat, each day. Once in the morning…before I am tempted to eat outside of my boundaries–in fact, before I have eaten at all. Then, I do another set before dinner–again…before I am tempted at all.
Sunday morning, these are the affirmations that resulted from doing the “Failure Eating” questions in her book. Do any of them fit for you? If so, they could become your own affirmations right now:
1. I am not a person who can follow my boundaries flawlessly without ever breaking them. The Lord, however, wants me to press on each and every time I do break them. Enough of the perfectionism! The sad truth that I have to accept right from the beginning is that I WILL mess up. So what will I do when I mess up? Quit? What kind of sense does that make? (None!)
2. I can’t change the way I ate yesterday or last week. I can’t change the consequences of those choices. What’s done is done. Instead, the Lord provides the strength now to enable me to care today. RIGHT NOW. I will press on. I will give my best to living according to my boundaries today. I DO care. I will eat according to what my body needs and when my spirit and heart are “hungry,” I will feed them what they need…which is not physical food! While I am free to eat desserts, I have allowed desserts to master me once again. I am choosing now to submit this issue to the Lord. He alone will master me. Desserts are now put in their proper place…into submission to God. I will exercise my freedom by choosing not to have dessert foods in my home right now for this season. I will remember that I AM IN A SPIRITUAL BATTLE!
3. God wants me to fight in the strength he provides with the weapons he provides, so I will.
4. By choosing to take the route of pressing on and in (instead of giving up), I will not regret it one bit. The Lord gives me the strength I need. Even if I stumble today, I will NOT throw in the towel and give in to eat what I want the rest of the day. I will, instead, take captive my thoughts, my desires and submit them to Him. He receives me and loves me..
5. I am committed to living a life with boundaries for the rest of my life so I will stop breaking them and acting like it is no big deal. I will accept that I will always have to have boundaries in this area of my life. I am not the type of person who can be healthy–emotionally, spiritually, and physically–without boundaries in my eating. I must come to terms with that. Accept it. Rejoice! God has used this difficulty to foster deep intimacy with me!
6. I choose to STOP BREAKING MY BOUNDARIES. I choose to stop minimizing choices outside of my boundaries!
7. A few months down the road…if I start now afresh to press on and keep my boundaries, I will be more mature spiritually and emotionally and I will have peace about where I am physically, too. God is changing me.
8. When I think of what I will gain, it is worth the sacrifice to follow my boundaries right this minute and for the rest of this day. The more I live according to my boundaries, the less difficult it becomes. But this doesn’t mean it will ever stop being a challenge. There will always be food I want to eat that my body doesn’t need.
Romans 6:1-2 – I have died to sin. I will not go on living in it.
Romans 13:14 – I choose to put on the Lord Jesus Christ and to make NO provision for my flesh and its lusts!
I will stop focusing on the physical battle…that seems so negotiable depending on how eager I am to look different. I will choose instead to focus on the spiritual battle, knowing that this has eternal ramifications. The physical battle has to do with my physical size and is almost totally inconsequential! The spiritual battle–that of breaking free from the control of food–is extremely significant. I want nothing but the Lord Jesus Christ to master me.
How About You?
If you haven’t gotten Barb’s book yet, I strongly urge you to do so. It is an amazing tool.
Which set of questions will you journal through today?
What affirmations can you list that will support you in your renewed determination to live according to your godly boundaries?
NOTE: If you would like to participate in an online Thin Within class (no charge for the class—you need only purchase Workbook Kit #1), visit this post for details about a class starting on January 6th.
Christina posted yesterday about the spiritual warfare she is experiencing lately.
I am in the trenches, too. Even though I may be a “veteran” and have been at this a loooooong time, I nevertheless go through seasons of difficulty. To be honest, this is the most challenging I have ever experienced.
As a result, I have been struggling with an ungodly behavior pattern in the evenings. It is a pattern of not caring nearly so much about obedience as I do to use food to deal with life…to cope!
My accountability partner challenged me to truth journal even several times each week, knowing that God has used it in such an amazing way with me in the past. I am so grateful for this challenge and have since decided that I need to do it every day.
To coddle myself into being willing to do this, though, I told myself when the urge to eat outside of my boundaries hit in the evening, “I can eat after I truth journal…” This is a strategy I learned from Barb Raveling in her Taste for Truth Bible Study material (have I ever confessed to you all that I wish I had written that study? LOL!). After I have truth journaled or used another method to renew my mind, I often don’t want to eat outside of my godly boundaries after all–which is, of course, the point. As warped as this sounds, this causes me to be more willing to truth journal. It is almost like in my old-way-of-thinking-now-resurfacing, I tell myself I get a food reward for truth journaling! Crazy, right? Especially given all the things I share here at the blog. By telling myself I can ignore :-/ my boundaries if I want to after I have done some of the nitty gritty renewing of the mind work, I end up being more willing to live within the boundaries God has established for me. After I truth journal, my heart has a different focus and I feel as though I have feasted. My hungry heart has been fed a rich, nutritious “meal” of what it really longed for.
In this pretty intimate video (that I have designated as “unlisted” at YouTube), I share with you as the struggle unfolds. I give you a glimpse into the battle that is raging for me (even by the light of the Christmas tree) and what I am doing about it in real time. I also tell what happened after I renewed my mind.
I hope it is encouraging to you. There is really no way around the hard work of training our minds to think differently. THIS will cause lasting change.
If you get blog notifications in email, you will have to visit the blog for the video to display correctly.
How About You?
What work are you willing to go to in order to REALLY beat the tendency to eat outside of 0 and 5?
“Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made.”
Luke 10:40
The month of December is packed with crammed schedules, stretched budgets, and the ever present assortment of sweets, alcohol, and all-night shopping. Whatever your particular temptation, it will be waiting for you in abundance. When we add in the visits from family and far away relatives, there is a potent brew of stress swirling around us. We can be so easily distracted by it all, and miss the good gifts God wants to give us this year.
If you tend to get a little (or a lot!) stressed out by Christmas, you’re not alone. Christmas is an emotionally-charged holiday. A Consumer Reports survey found that 90% have at least one thing we dread about the holidays. Dread is a strong word; it implies a gnawing fear about something we have no control over. Let me share my top three things I am tempted to dread, and then I’ll share my secret for stressing less.
1. Body: At Christmas, I often visit with relatives whom I haven’t seen all year. Many times, other women will want to talk about weight and diets. Sometimes, other women might even comment on my weight. Even if they are complimenting me on “winning” the war with the scale, I am immediately tempted into pride or fear or even resentment. Any discussion of weight or diets is like sticking a finger into old emotional wounds. No matter what is being said, it can stir unpleasant feelings.
2. Money: Obsession tends to shift around in my life, looking for a home. If I stop obsessing about weight and food, I can easily start obsessing about money. And during the holiday season, the extra spending makes me feel uncomfortable. I am often tempted to blow my budget, just like it was a diet. “Oh, well,” I might think. “I’m spending so much on everyone else, I might as well blow the whole budget.”
3. Expectations: I want my house to be decorated and clean. I want everyone to be happy and the kids to get along. I want to feel the magic of Christmas in my heart from the moment I wake up until I collapse from exhaustion at night. The problem is, I don’t have a set designer, a food stylist, or even a maid. I do, however, have PMS and occasional insomnia. I just can’t ever seem to meet my own expectations. And neither can Christmas. Sometimes I secretly wonder what is wrong with me…
It would seem that Christmas could give me, and all of us, plenty of reasons to overeat! Christmas can be emotionally-charged because there are so many opportunities to be aware of the aching hole in our hearts. And when we try to fill the hole, we often fill it with the wrong things. Spiritual bondage is defined as filling the hole in our hearts with things that only make the hole bigger.
So how can we navigate the season with joy? How do we fill our hearts with what they need? For me, the secret is thinking small. The bigger my fears, the larger my problems seem, the smaller my focus must become. In particular, I am focusing on 0-5 eating, and here’s why:
Living within the boundary of 0-5 eating seems to pay extra dividends during the holiday season. With all the triggers and temptations around me, staying within safe boundaries eases all my stress. The comfort of this one godly boundary soothes my nerves. It’s like my heavenly Father draping His strong arm around my shoulders.
0-5 eating pays dividends all year long, of course. But during Christmas, 0-5 eating keeps me focused on Jesus. As I focus on following His lead in this one area, all the other distractions and dreads seem to fade into background noise. Christmas, with all its necessary preparations, becomes a quieter, sweeter experience. What comes to me as a test of faith (giving up that extra piece of fudge!) becomes the key to release from all my other my burdens.
How about you?
What is it about the Christmas season that seems daunting to you today? Have you ever noticed that keeping one godly boundary, even imperfectly, seems to make the whole day more peaceful? How could the godly boundary of 0-5 eating bring you comfort and peace this Christmas season?
Are you convinced that you will be taken out—knocked down for the count—all because turkey, stuffing, pumpkin pie (etc.) have an amazing “left hook” and you feel like you just can’t resist heading straight for disaster in the presence of sweet potato pie?
Are you persuaded that all your good intentions will be for naught at Thanksgiving Dinner tomorrow or the first Christmas party of the season…only to be multiplied in the days to come…so you figure why should I bother trying…I will only fail?
If we take on this fatalistic thinking, we will be convinced that there is “no point” in being vigilant through the holidays. We will put off having any boundaries and wait to focus in January—maybe even after we have gained some additional weight and hardened our hearts further!… After all, we reason, there is an online Thin Within class I can plan to take in January. I will get serious then!
Let’s DITCH 🙂 this trepidation, intimidation stuff.
Let’s DITCH the lies!
We serve the Living God!
He blew the lid off the grave!
The same resurrection power that raised Jesus out of the tomb is available to lift us away from the table and enable us to say NO to another bite beyond 5 (Ephesians 1:19,20).
Do I really think I can’t say no? That is a lie! Time to admit it!
Let’s choose to REDEEM the time we have right here and right now! Yes, even on the eve of Thanksgiving! Let’s embrace the meaning of passages such as these:
Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ,
and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.
– Romans 13: 14
—
…train yourself to be godly
1 Timothy 4:7b
What if, instead of being intimidated by what’s ahead on the holiday horizon, we were to view this as an opportunity for training in godliness?
Wouldn’t it be great if, by this time on Friday, you could look back over the previous day and rejoice that you had taken captive run-away thoughts (many might be lies) and had emerged a victor, rather than a victim of yet another Thanksgiving Day feast?
Think about it! We have an OPPORTUNITY to navigate through the most CHALLENGING season and to learn a lot as we do—by desperately clinging to God and seeing his grace as a presence, provision, and power in the moment or even by observing and correcting in those rare instances when we “mess up!”
Has God called you to boundaries of hunger/satisfied eating? I know for many of us, this is a conviction in our hearts. Then is it really negotiable? Rather than making a provision for our flesh to go hog-wild and eat whatever we want tomorrow, maybe we can make a “provision for our spirit”… by doing as Christina suggested in yesterday’s post and having a battle plan!
Let’s think of the next five weeks as a great opportunity to train for godliness, to grow in dependence on the Lord, to build our thanksgiving muscles (not just tomorrow, but every day). This is a season for training. If we make it through January 1st staying on the horse, or getting back on immediately if we DO fall off, we can do just about anything relative to our eating after these holiday parties and cookie exchanges are over. We don’t need to come out the other side of December looking like the Christmas Cookie Crisco Girls! We can train our spirits AND our bodies so that we have grown closer to the Lord and have released weight, too!
The reason I know YOU can do it is because I did it and I was the biggest rebel ever known to exist! So if I can do it, you can, too. I wrote this post on January 2, 2007, where I share the details of my first holiday season being faithful to God and the conviction that he wanted me to eat 0 to 5 even during the holidays. I had released just over 20 pounds–much of it through November and December! If that is your need, YOU CAN do this, TOO!
How About You?
Honestly, it IS possible for you to emerge victorious on January 2nd! AND it doesn’t need to ruin your holiday fun, too! I can’t promise you won’t have to make sacrifices, but isn’t it worth it? This time next month, you could have shed the burden of some extra weight, enjoyed your holiday celebrations (so far), AND be closer to the Lord! To do that, I challenge you to:
Shift from an intimidation mentality to an opportunity mentality. Think of this as an OPPORTUNITY to TRAIN for godliness this holiday season! Start now! Just think about how much stronger you will be for whatEVER challenges face you after December!
Recommit to 0 to 5 eating boundaries. Ask God to show you if this is what HE wants for you—even through the holidays.
Commit to getting back on the horse again quickly if you do fall off. Honestly, the success we experience in this approach is not by pursuing perfection. It is by refusing to quit. Instead, over time, you will fall off the horse less frequently and stay on the ground less long. So if you find yourself having “messed up,” just get back in the saddle. RIDE! 🙂 FIGHT! It is worth it!
Try this…my friend Barb has a great idea. It has worked for me! Since she knows she may want an extra bite of _______ even outside of her boundaries, she tells herself she can have _______ after she has renewed her mind. You can do this by choosing to do a set of questions in the “I Deserve a Donut” app or the “I Deserve a Donut” book (both by Barb) or even after you have read a post at this blog (or another blog that encourages you). Chances are once you do that, you won’t want the extra bites of __________. Last night I did this when I wanted a second handful of chocolate covered cashews. It worked like a charm. I didn’t want them. I knew I COULD, but didn’t!
So, who of you are IN? 🙂
P.S. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that, if you think you need a bit of extra support, you can get some coaching during the holidays. If you are interested in that, have a look at the Coaching page.
~ Brenda Ameli. Brenda lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, teaching mind body movement and leading the women’s ministry at her church.
