Overeating, in its essential allurement, promises to quench our thirst. In other words, it promises satisfaction. And honestly, it does satisfy–but only for a time. Pretty soon we discover we are “thirsty” again, and as the years go by we find that we are reallly never genuinely satisfied. Right? That is because sin never purely satisfies! It depletes us, not fulfills us. (page 31, The Lord’s Table) This lesson in TLT, continued the thoughts from Day Nine. Truthfully, this “allurement” is an excellent place to “truth journal” as I mentioned in yesterday’s entry. If I believe that there will be joy in eating outside of godly boundaries, the truth is, that “joy” is fleeting, not complete and abiding which is the nature of the joy that Jesus promises.
As I did this lesson, I was reminded of living in the past…when I would “give myself over” to my gluttony…literally, abandoning myself to it. It resulted in a wall between the Lord and myself (self-imposed, as he was always eager and willing to have me return to him). And I could never get enough food to satisfy. It was as if I was attempting to drink salt water to satisfy a thirst. It got so much worse. The emptiness increased.
…the habitual sin of overeating…can soon become a life-dominating sin. Eating food is good and right, and can be a worshipful experience when done for the glory of God. It is not eating food that is the problem, it is overeating. (Page 34, The Lord’s Table) Summary of Day 10: The Living Water — Jesus — satisfies. All attempts to fill the emptiness in other ways actually results in greater emptiness. It’s like treating thirst with salt water. God has created me with a need for Him. As I turn to Him to fill that hole, I WILL be satisfied. If I insist on filling that hole with something else–like food–the hole will only get larger and the emptiness deeper. I will choose Him today.
I plan on returning to summaries of The Lord’s Table soon, but today, I could tell I needed to deal with some things. I turned to “Freedom from Emotional Eating,” by Barb Raveling, instead of working on The Lord’s Table.
Yes…this is what I needed. What I need. Present tense.
Yesterday, I struggled a lot with urges to eat and to revert back to drinking soda. I didn’t give in to the soda drinking. (I will write about this another time, as I think diet soda has been a huge stronghold in my past…one I never totally resolved to give up, but have now…hopefully, permanently.)
I was amazed at how drawn to food and soda I felt all day.
My accountability partner asked the right questions of me and prompted me to allow God to help me work through this. My tendency was to just “blow it off” as “Ok, so I am feeling emotional.” But to be honest with you, calling it emotional eating without DEALING with it, isn’t even as good as throwing a band-aid on it. It is like seeing a wound and saying “Yup, it is bleeding” and leaving it at that.
In Barb Raveling’s workbook, “Freedom from Emotional Eating,” the reader is urged to go beyond recognizing there are emotional triggers, to actually doing something about it…to speaking TRUTH into the situation. This is done through “truth journaling.” This is a remarkably simple thing to do, I found, yet profound.
The enemy seeks to take us captive by messing with our heads…the old “You deserve to eat this…” or “You will feel better if you have that…” thing.
Truth journaling happens in a couple of ways. One is to call a lie a lie regarding this notion that food will make me feel better when I am emotional. It doesn’t. Not only does it NOT make me feel better five minutes from now (after I have inhaled it), but it makes things worse. I still have to deal with the emotions, but it is then compounded by the guilt and frustration with myself for trying to numb it with food. Truth journaling exposes this. And it does so very specifically…not generally, as I have just done in my explanation.
For instance, if I am tempted to eat a chocolate muffin when I am not hungry and it is because I just survived my son driving us through the canyon together (he just got his permit), I write down how I am feeling, “I want a chocolate muffin right now. I am not hungry. I want it because it will make me feel better. I deserve it for enduring the stressful drive through the canyon.” I then go back and number the thoughts: 1. I want a muffin. 2. I am not hungry. 3. I think the muffin will make me feel better. 4. I deserve the muffin.
Then, for each, I label if it is a truth or lie and what the corresponding truth is for that lie: 1. True. I want the muffin. 2. True. I am not hungry. 3. LIE. The muffin will NOT make me feel better and will, in fact, make me feel worse because of how I feel when I violate my boundaries of eating only when hungry. 4. LIE. I don’t “deserve” the muffin. The muffin isn’t a “reward.” Knowing that I have hung in there doing what God has called me to is a very great reward and I will praise God for my safety and delight in his joy over us!
Another approach is to deal with the emotions…this goes to the heart of it. I spent some time this morning doing this very thing and I feel better equipped to handle the day.
I am emotional with good reason. 1.) My son is driving now and living where we do, the roads are windy, narrow and everyone on the roads is insane. 🙂 2.) My horse, Breezy, gets seen tomorrow by a specialist for what may be cancer in his eye. 3.) My schedule is so jammed full of things this week that I am overwhelmed. 4.) I have a website I am developing that has taken on a life of its own for a client who I have worked out a “trade” with and now I just want it done.
I have a strong emotional response to each of these things. This morning, as I truth journalled about some of them (and I will go back and do the others), I was able to invite God to expose the lies that are at the heart of some of my emotions about them. Certainly, while worry about Breezy is understandable, it won’t help matters. In fact, Breezy senses my anxiety and it adds to his own, making it more difficult for the vet to treat him. I have anxiety about the money this will cost and, again, worry won’t help this. It is what it is.
See how this works? As I allow God to speak truth into these situations, I am better equipped to pray through them and not to yearn for food which doesn’t help matters anyhow. God is my healer and my helper. He knows all things. He knows right now about Breezy’s eye and what is causing it.
This seems so simple right now as I share it. I almost want to delete this post because I assume people might say “Duh!” But it really IS profound.
The trick is, in the moment when I feel tempted to eat or to guzzle a diet cherry pepsi, I must be willing to stop and evaluate what is TRUTH in the situation? It isn’t likely that drinking or eating something will EVER be the TRUTHful answer to what is going on.
How about you? Can you take stock and see what the truth is about why you are drawn to food? Or, at the very least, evaluate whether having this candybar or that second helping of enchiladas will *really* make you feel better, happier, whatever an hour from now? 🙂
I want to live out my freedom. As Beth Moore said last week, we can’t have our milestones until we can take captive the moment. I see Barb Raveling’s truth journaling idea as being an invaluable way of capturing the moment for the Lord and allowing my mind to be renewed with his truth…
Sometimes it is easy to get so fixated on ways in which I go awry, off the path, fall off the wagon, wander astray…that I fail to realize how much God has done in my life. I feel that he sometimes gives, as a gift, a reality check to remind me of where I would be apart from him.
This morning, I awakened just before the alarm went off and my thoughts went to “Oh, no! Re-entry! I can’t do my life this week.” I turned it to a prayer, “Lord, please help me to be able to know what is from you to do, what to let go of and to truly be able to simplify my life as you have been leading me to do.”
Then, I eagerly wanted two things…1.) A shower 2.) my quiet time.
Before my feet hit the floor the Spirit whispered to my heart how far He has brought me that my first thoughts were these. While I am someone that God has wired to depend on my quiet time and to love it first thing in the morning, often in the past, my first thoughts upon awaking would be 1.) What will I eat? (no regard for hunger) and 2.) Gotta have my diet soda!
I don’t think about those things any more when I wake up. This is HUGE. Today was a great illustration of this and I must rejoice at what the Lord is accomplishing. He IS at work. He IS doing a new thing. He IS completing that which He began…just like His Word promises.
What can you see in your life as outward evidences of His work in your life? Take a moment and ask the Lord to help you to have eyes to see how far He has brought you. Ask to see yourself and your life with HIS eyes and take a moment to praise Him. Even if you feel you come up empty, can you–in faith–praise Him that even now He IS doing a new thing in you? That He IS completing that which he began in you? 🙂
Beth referred to 2 Timothy 3:1-7 for session 9. Beth Moore turned the focus just a bit from captivity of habitual sin to the fact that relationships can often become strongholds. Or that is how I interpret the gist of it…and it definitely applies in my own life.
Just some short thoughts that came of this session for me…
* Relationships can be toxic. There are typically red flares that the Lord will give us–checks in our spirit–to let us know that something is up. That something is potentially toxic or just not right. We need to refuse to be taken into captivity. We must flee at times like these…or often enough.
* Healthy relationships grow. Beware of instant intimacy. (I would add that this is potentially true especially with internet “relationships.”)
* My “soulmate” is Jesus Christ alone.
Session 10
* If I am struggling with breaking free, ask the question, “What am I afraid of?” Perhaps there is also a stronghold of fear. God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of love, power and a sound mind.
* I am a “warrior princess.” This is a battle and I have divine weapons to DEMOLISH strongholds.
* Evaluate which fight is really the right fight. Don’t expend energy on the lesser things, but some things are worth fighting for…my children, my marriage, for example.
* When people are still in bondage and I feel an agitation in my spirit because they refuse to be free, I need to extend them grace and truth.
* I must take heed when I think I stand, lest I fall.
* Freedom is NO sin ruling over me habitually.
* I must keep in the battle with the double-edge sword in my hand.
Quick note…the power was out…in the sanctuary this moring. On in the adjoining building. Just after Lisa had finished sharing some wonderful worship with us and we had been praising the Lord together all the power went out.
The LORD was glorified, however! What the enemy meant to derail us, was used by the Lord to exalt HIM and to delight HIS people! We prayed in small groups, shared together about what God is telling us through this week’s material. We then praised him and Beth came out and asked for testimonies of freedom! WOW!!!! It was amazing.
The power came back on and we finished both sessions 9 and 10 only 90 minutes later than planned (I think it was).
I will share thoughts on those tomorrow. At the airport now, waiting to fly back to my man and my children! PRAISE GOD!
Beth pointed out the value of loving the Lord…that it motivates our obedience, motivates perseverance, provides protection and empowers love for others. She also pointed out that so often we think love for God is going to be different than love we have, say, for our dearest family members. She asked us to consider why? If we love our child or grandchild, for instance, how do we know? We feel it deeply. She asked us to question why we expect our love for God not to be a feeling love and challenged us to ask God to give us that kind of love for him…a love that acts, yes, but a love that feels as well.
She pointed out that we can pray asking God to give us a heart-felt, zealous, passion for Him…a love for him that is unrivaled. He WILL answer that prayer as it is a prayer prayed in his will.
We love him at all because he first loved us. I was moved when she asked us to consider instead of saying “I love you, Lord,” to say for a season, “I love you, too…” as it reinforces the vital truth that I love him because he first loved me…there is never a time when I will say “I love you, Lord,” that he hasn’t first said, “I love you.”
The “punch line” that I came home with from this session is a familiar one to me, but it is time once again. Beth spent this session speaking to the “Captivity of Activity.” We trade our yoke of slavery for another yoke–Jesus’ yoke–the yoke of liberty. He is our master. He is kind, gentle and humble.
She pointed out that when we are tired and do not come to him for rest, we are disobedient and surrender ground to the devil. That was a powerful truth to share. (Isaiah 28:10-13)
God has such a sense of humor! Last summer, during the Summer Siesta study and home grown videos that Beth Moore did for those of us joining her through Kelly Minter’s No Other Gods workbook, Beth mentioned that of all the places checking in for study, her favorite American name of a town was COOL, California! WHOOO HOO! (I live there.) Her favorite international town name was one in Canada, called Moosejaw!
Guess who I met today? My siesta from Moosejaw!!!!! In the picture above we are enjoying lunch at the Camelia Grill. Julie, from Moosejaw, is on the left, me, Jan from Tulsa, and Meredith from Michigan is on the right.
How cool is that? They are staying in the same condo place as us!
This week is quickly drawing to a close. It has been a week filled with joy and laughter, some heartache and tears, too.
My friend, Jan, and I didn’t do much sight seeing (on purpose anyhow…we certainly got lost a lot) while we have been here. We did go to Cafe Dumonde, however, so she could enjoy the treats there. (I am not a big coffee and pastry person…but I enjoyed people watching and looking at the mules and the carriages they were pulling–and because I have a thing for equine feet, I noticed their hoofs, too! LOL!)
This is the Breaking Free set that we have enjoyed as the backdrop all week at the church. The lady up front is Michelle Hicks. What a joy she has been! She is SO wonderful at “MC”ing these taping sessions–making all of us feel so right at home, like we are connected to one another. Below, Jan and I pose in front of the set:
Today has been intense. Emotionally charged. First delightful, as we have heard about Baptist Friendship House ministering to many here in New Orleans and story upon story of God’s blessing and confirmation and directing of the ministry there.
Then heart-wrenching as we prayer-drove through the Lower 9th Ward of New Orleans–just next to where the levee broke after Katrina. I wanted to share a couple of images from this prayer-drive that we went on, praying as we went and getting out to pray as well.
The image immediately above is a close up of the house above…devastation inside and all around it. The house is a shell…still stands and scrawled in spray paint on the outside, a testimonial… “This was home…” Oh, how my heart aches!
So much of the land has been flattened…the homes bull-dozed. Deposits of hope, anticipating return, some parcels are well manicured and lovingly cared for despite the lack of a house present on the site.
Others, were gutted, ruined…and no indication of anyone with any hope to return.
At times all I *could* do was pray. My heart was heavy imagining those who had lost so very much…not just physically, but so many other things. Such devastation. Such ruin. Yet without a doubt, we know that our God can do amazing things! He trades ashes for a crown of beauty! I believe He will bring something wonderful up out of this devastation.
We got out of our van and prayed for the people that have been hit by the devastation. This particular spot in the photo above is the home site of a lady we met who asked us if we would please stop by her home and pray that she might be able to return there.
I can’t help but think that the passage found in Isaiah 58 has a real-live, modern-day application now.
Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins, and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings. Isaiah 58:12
I believe God IS doing a new thing. It is springing up and we must beg him to help us see it and to pray for it and participate in it! I don’t know what shape it will take…and He is about the business of the eternal first and foremost. I anticipate that it will be a light that will be evident across our land…I think he can use this to bring revival to our country.
I know this…the people I have encountered in New Orleans have been amazing. Just tenacious, polite (except when driving…LOL!) and so kind–ready to tell their story to any listening ear. I simply must come back and participate in some of the relief work…it is on my heart and I hope to investigate that.
I think so much of this has to do with experiencing freedom in our lives from strongholds. At least if the Word of God is true (and it is!) it does. From Isaiah 58:9-11:
Then you will call, and the LORD will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I. “If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.
