So, assuming that I am at yet another point in time when I feel lured to food. I have committed to waiting 5 minutes before eating and to be still (even if just in my spirit for a bit) and ask myself in company with the Lord, “Am I physically in need of food?”
Once again (this happens more than I care to admit…is that the way it is for you, too?), the answer is “No.” I know that I really am not at “empty.”
So I go a step further (again) as this is the process I have committed to:
“So I am being lured to food. What is this about now?”
Sometimes, I simply *want* food. I just *want* to eat. The other day I was working with my daughter on something in the kitchen. She had to sit still. She had fixated on a package of Costco chocolate muffins that were on the counter. She kept commenting that she *wanted* one. I finally moved the package to a new location…not in ready view. You know what happened? She totally forgot about the muffins. She didn’t “want” them any more. This sure illustrated something for me. If I fix my eyes (or thoughts) on the food, I am more likely to just want it just because. To try to NOT want it, is to still think about it…So I have to focus on something else. I just have to! Sometimes, it can be as simple as putting food where I can’t see it–covering it with a napkin or putting it in a cupboard…or a take out container if it is at the end of a meal at a restaurant.
Other times, I have to be intentional to start focusing on whatever is lovely, good, excellent or praiseworthy instead (Philippians 4:8).
So sometimes, when I put off eating for 5 minutes, to connect with God, it is as simple as I just want the food. I can reconnect with God and be reminded that the muffins will be there when I am hungry and I can eat some then…It really is simple. Not easy, but simple.
To be honest, it is at times like this when I get to see what is in my heart. Sometimes I rebel at the thought of waiting. I want it now. I have to realize that I really am rebelling against my Lord and Savior and what he calls me to do. He wants what is best. As small and insignificant as a chocolate muffin may seem right now in the face of eternity relative to my size, what DOES matter is what hardening my heart against my Savior does to me and my relationship with him. THAT is what really matters. Do I really want to do that????
When I ran the San Francisco Marathon in 1996, I vividly remember crossing the starting line. You see, I knew that my speed would be…well…not speedy. So I “strategically” placed myself at the back of the pack. As we waited for the “starting gun” to signal the begin of the “race,” the fog shrouding the Golden Gate Bridge was an accurate portrayal of what I had felt looking forward to this day for six months. There was no doubt that I was fit enough. I had trained hard. But the partner that was planning on running my first marathon with me had bailed out at the last minute due to a family emergency. Could I actually do it without someone there to be accountable to? I was so afraid of failure, that even being willing to start was a big deal. As I crossed the starting line, tears streamed down my face. You would have thought that I had won. In fact, I wanted to scream “I WIN! I WIN!” I had overcome my fear of failure and had actually crossed the starting line! The rest didn’t matter to me!
As hard as getting started was, it would have nevertheless been anticlimactic to quit a mile into it. Sometimes getting started IS tough. But sometimes once we get started, it is tough to keep going, one foot in front of the other.
I have been doing a “series” here at the blog on “How to Begin.” This is for those new to the “non-diet” approach or for those of us who just need to re-start…begin again again, sort of thing. 🙂
There are 5 parts to this series (sort of) and this blog entry is actually sort of a part 6 of that, but rather than call it part 6 of How to Begin, it occurred to me that really this post is about continuing…which is something we have to learn to do every day (maybe every hour) for the rest of our lives.
If you have read the other parts of this series, then, I assume that you are waiting 5 minutes when feeling drawn to food. Or that is what I challenged all of us to do.
And, as you wait, you are asking God “What is this pull to food about?” The various possibilities are first and foremost:
“I am drawn to food right now because I am physically hungry and my body needs fuel.” <–This is the answer we WANT if we are going to eat, of course! 🙂
So basically, the answer to “Am I physically hungry?” is “Yes” or “No.”
I have suggested waiting 5 minutes with the Lord asking him this question because if you are physically hungry, it typically won’t kill us 🙂 to wait 5 more minutes to feed the need for food.
However, if we aren’t physically hungry, we may have lots of other answers to the question of “What is this lure to food about?”
This post addresses what to do next if your answer to the “Why am I drawn to food right now” question is answered with *anything* other than “Because I am physically hungry.”
I shared with you some of my answers to this question. Here is the rub…when I am in the place where any number of other answers may be the honest one, I typically don’t *want* to wait 5 minutes! In fact, the very fact that I “can’t” wait 5 minutes may be evidence of what is really going on! That I am not physically in need! We tend to put physical needs off so much of the time without being bothered by it. For instance, when was the last time you knew you really should go to the doctor about something or other, but you put it off? With physical hunger, we have a way of being able to put things on hold for a minute without freaking out about it. (Not always, but often.)
So if 5 minutes spent with the Lord before eating seems impossible, then 1.) You aren’t alone 2.) Consider that an early warning that something other than physical need is likely going on…Instead of eating immediately, I put off eating for a mere 5 minutes. Imagine with me that I have the luxury of actually sitting down some place alone (this isn’t necessary, as you can go through the thought/prayer process in your head in the company of people any time at all) with my journal. This is what I might write.
Ok, Lord…here I am. I am thinking about those chocolate muffins and I am ready to go eat half of one right now. But, out of obedience, I will wait 5 minutes and I choose to take the time now to ask you…what is this desire for food about?
Imagine with me that I then consider my stomach…do I have the hollow feeling in it that I have come to associate with physical hunger? Well, no. Not really…No, not at all. I continue to write/pray/journal:
Lord, I can tell that I am not physically hungry yet, so I must be lured to food for some reason other than physical need. Please show me what this is about. Please meet me here. I want to know truth. You have said that knowing the truth will set me free. I want freedom so badly in this, Lord.
As I sit in His presence, he shows me what is going on…
Lord, I have been busting my tail around here lately. No one seems to notice or care. In fact, they seem bent on making my job a bigger one by messing up things just as soon as I get them cleaned up or fixed up. I have worked hard and I deserve something to make me feel good.
At this point, it is really important that I speak what is really going on. As “spoiled baby” as it may sound to actually type that up (here) or write it in a journal or to say it in a prayer to God, this is what is going on! If I am truthful about it, it really does help me to see things more clearly.
It is important then, to declare this for what it is in the presence of God. Again, you can do this prayerfully any time any place in the presence of any one…or alone, with a bible, journal, pen in hand…or anything in between.
Lord, I see that I am believing a lie. I know you desire that I bring this feeling to you. Help me to see the truth about my attitude. Lord, I need to ask you to help others to be more thoughtful. Help me to do what I do out of a heart that wants to serve as if I am serving YOU, my Master, Lord. Help me to be loving…not to do something out of a sense of obligation, or false guilt. I see that these feelings are what are stirring me up…and the most important thing, Lord, is that shoveling half a muffin down my face will NOT make me feel better. Or if it does, it will be fleeting. I will be left with the same feeling I have had that people have done wrong to me and I will be upset at myself for stuffing food in my face.
It is here that I have discovered a vital, life-changing truth…this may not sound like fun–truthfully, it isn’t, but it will TRANSFORM THIS JOURNEY for you! I have to realize my own need to take captive my thoughts toward these folks. Just allowing these thoughts to run away with me takes ME captive to do things and to think things I wish I wouldn’t. Here is the thing that will transform everything…I really believe this. At least it has for me. I must choose to forgive the people that I am resentful towards for being thoughtless and uncaring. In fact, I can choose to do this even while they continue the behavior and ask the Lord if I should have godly boundaries in place, too, so that I don’t continue to return to the same situation again and again in a way that doesn’t honor him or help others (or myself).
In fact, if I see that I have an out-of-proportion response to people…I am really angry over something that, if I step back, seems rather minor (wrong, but minor nevertheless), it may be that God is allowing this situation to show me that there is something unresolved from my past affecting my ability to function in a spiritually and emotionally healthful way in the present. And this can affect my desire to eat!
Can I do something about this in the mere 5 minutes that I have suggested we wait before eating? Well, ideally, once I discover that my lure to food is NOT about a physical need and I begin to analyze why I am drawn to food, I will give attention to whatever needs attention instead of the false “solution” that food offers. If I am praying or have a journal that I am writing in, I might continue with…
Lord, it is obviously a lie for me to think that food will somehow make me feel better about this situation. What willactually make the difference is if I choose to forgive these people for their thoughtlessness. Lord please show me if I need to establish any godly boundaries and if my reaction to these people is at all rooted in things in my past or in my own behavior right now. Please help me to own it. Lord, you alone are sufficient to enable me to make it through this moment without turning to food. Show me, Lord, what I must do to feed the true need I have. Lord, I choose to forgive…and please forgive me for…
Hopefully, when we give even a little bit of time to this process, we experience a sense of deep satisfaction that goes beyond anything food could do when we are not physically hungry.
Some may think this is making a huge deal out of nothing. If that describes you, then try to figure out why you keep doing the same thing again and again (over-eating) and expect a different result…the fact is, if I keep feeding my emotions or agitated thoughts with food, I will continue to struggle with godliness in this area and with my size physically–not to mention all the health concerns that can go with carrying too much weight.
Phew! This was a long blog entry. Tomorrow maybe I will be able to get on to the other possibilities I have listed so far for me. Many of them are related to this very thing.
I would love to hear if any of this is helpful, but then, maybe God is just having me write all of this for my own benefit!
If you have been with us for the past week or so, then you have noticed I have sort of been doing a “series.” My desire is to break things down into babysteps.
Part 4, however, isn’t so easy as to plow right on without giving a bit more focus to it. Frankly, I think it is vital, the key, everything hinges on it..
Am I willing to wait?
When my emotions rage, am I willing to ask the Lord, “What is this about?”
When I know that I really can’t be hungry just yet and I am drawn to food, am I willing to sit still, BE still (in my spirit, body, *and* mind) and say “I am waiting for YOU, Lord…in YOU I place my hope.”
In the past few days, I have noticed that some of the answers to these questions for me have been very intriguing. God has faithfully been showing me what is up with me and that *food* definitely isn’t the answer.
“Why am I drawn to food right now?” has had such varied answers as: * I have worked hard and deserve a break. * I won’t be able to eat when I get hungry. * I am afraid of rejection and food will somehow make rejection easier to take. * I can TOO do what I want! I can eat what and when I want! That will show ’em! (Whoever “’em” is…) * I am hurting and I just want something to make me happy. * I am physically hungry and my body needs fueling.
I am sure I am probably missing some. But what about you? What are answers to these questions that you have discovered as you have waited? Have you been journaling, waiting 5 minutes before you eat?
If you are like me and many others I have talked with, usually there is a pattern. You will begin to discover that each time (or almost each time) a certain something happens or you have a certain feeling you will find yourself thinking about food. This is a GREAT place to be!
If that hasn’t happened for you yet, continue to wait 5 minutes before eating. Journal prayerfully how you are feeling, what you believe in the moment, and ask God to speak HIS truth and jot that down, too.
See if, over the next few days, you see a pattern, too.
Meanwhile, also continue to eat only when your body needs fuel…when there is a physical need for food.
As you do, evaluate if your emotions about things are a bit more intense than usual? If they are, evaluate prayerfully what this could mean in your life and what God may intend for you.
This is a basic…really, it is great for starting for the first time and it is great for re-starting…
Wait.
Period. That’s it.
Wait.
For what?
For the Lord. 🙂
Ok, so maybe this doesn’t sound so practical. So here is the embellished version of it. When you feel drawn to food, wait. Take time to sit still for 5 minutes. It doesn’t sound like much, but when we are drawn to food for any number of reasons, 5 minutes seems like a loooooong time. I am going to make it a habit before I put anything in my mouth, to wait…maybe even pick up my journal and a pen.
Then…ask yourself (as I will ask myself): What is my reason for being drawn to food right now?
Start with something as simple as: Am I physically hungry? Is there no more food in my stomach and my body now needs fueling?
That is a straight-forward, yes or no question (though, sometimes not as simple as all of that).
If I answer this question after sitting for 5 minutes with a “Yes,” then I am welcome to eat. No food restrictions, no diet foods, no need to obsess or fuss about this or that. (I will talk about portions in another post.)
But here is the thing…if you are anything like me, if you sit for 5 minutes and you know deep down inside that your thoughts of food have nothing to do with physical need, then the real question is this:
“Lord, what is this about?”
In other words, what is it about this moment, about the circumstances, my emotions, my thinking, that is causing me to think that food is the answer?
We have to take these sorts of questions to the Lord and listen and let him answer–thus the reason for the 5 minutes. If we are willing to sit even 5 minutes (even if we think it is physical hunger…surely we won’t die if we wait 5 minutes) and ask HIM these questions…and then really LISTEN for the answers, we may be surprised.
I want to share here at the blog the things that I have been discovering recently about myself that have caused me to be drawn to food more frequently…but first…I want to give us all “practice” in waiting 5 minutes when we are drawn to food…
I was flushed out of hiding…not literal hiding, but hiding from honesty on the Thin Within forums. I was lurking there (and here without much to say this week) with my ideas shoved in the back of my mind wondering if/when I should ‘fess up….
Ok…’fessing up. Here and now.
I seem to have this tendency to go looking for a new book or new thought or new SOMETHING that will be like the quarter being put in the “obedience” slot on my “machine.” Do you know what I mean?
Here is the reality, after all this time:
I know what I need to do to release weight.
I know what I need to do to keep it off.
Or, to get my eyes off my body, another way of thinking about it (which is where I am really trying to get these days…)…is this:
I know what God is asking of me with regard to my eating.
I know that I just flat out need to obey Him.
Yet I keep waiting for another new way of saying it. A “fresh approach.” Someone to just have the magic words that will be like flipping a switch and having everything start working right. Someone who will somehow wave a magic wand and “Presto!” obedience and weight stuff will all happen just peachy keeno perfectly!
The reality is, no matter who says it, no matter how they lost however many pounds, no matter what credentials are behind their name…I have a sin problem!!! I have an obedience problem! This is really challenging me today.
Can any of you relate?
Think about it…if you read my blog before and I probably said it on the Thin Within forums, too, when I was going through the HEAL book “This is a fresh way of saying it.” I basically said the same thing with the Eden Diet book. Good grief. I have SO much “knowledge” about this stuff…I know the drill. I also know the excuses I can use…and no matter what someone says, I could have more excuses than anyone. I know them all!
So…I am back to…what really is my problem is that I am making a choice–to give this moment to God or to grab it for my selfish lusts or self-gratification or self-whatever way of handling this moment. BAH!
Sure, I can read and grab at anything new that comes down the pike. God is God and he may add to my knowledge, but it is my job to “add to my knowledge, SELF-CONTROL.” (2 Peter 1:5) He will help me with this, yes…his Spirit will do it, but I have to die to SELF and what self wants. :-/
Gosh…this is a huge confession. EEEK!
So the bottom line is we — *I* — have to answer to God for if I lived according to the light he has given me. Sure, he uses books to give me additional light sometimes…but all I know is I have to own what I know now.
We are going through a mini-bible study of sorts in Hebrews 12:1-3. You might want to open your bible up to have a look. I have asked the question “What does God want ME to do?” as I look at this passage.
Think about this for a minute. I thought of skipping the “let us” of this verse, but then I realized that when we are encouraged to “let” there is something implied. It is as if there is something in the way of the action that needs to be removed. I think this points us back to verse 1–the things that hinder and the sin that entangles, perhaps. In other words, once I have thrown off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, I am freed up to do the “let” mentioned in verse 2.
Apply: Have you done the throwing off of what hinders? Have you intentionally tossed aside the sin that entangles? It is intriguing to note that back in verse one, sin “so easily entangles.” We don’t have to work at being hung up or caught up. So it stands to reason…those things have to be removed before we can do what comes next in verse 2.
Action #2: (vs. 2) “Fix our eyes”
Upon what are we to “fix our eyes?” JESUS!
What are things you tend to fix your eyes on routinely? When it comes to the area of food, eating, my body, etc., the answer for me can be: the bathroom scale, compliments from my friends, my clothing to see if it fits better or is looser, the food, hunger and coveting a chance to be hungry and eat again, the mirror, etc., etc. We have to be willing to choose instead to fix our eyes on Jesus.
This may sound like it is something silly, but consider for a minute other similar verses:
1Since, then, you have been raised with Christ,
set your hearts on things above,
where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.
2Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.
3For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.
– Colossians 3:1-3
17For our light and momentary troubles
are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
18So we fix our eyes not on what is seen,
but on what is unseen.
For what is seen is temporary,
but what is unseen is eternal.
– 2 Corinthians 4:17-18
We have a choice about what we will gaze upon or think about. In our passage in Hebrews 12:1-3, we are exhorted that, while we run with perseverance the race that is before us, we will do well to fix our eyes on Jesus. Let us press on to chase hard after him. Another verse that comes to mind is this:
12Not that I have already obtained all this,
or have already been made perfect,
but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.
13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.
But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind
and straining toward what is ahead,
14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which
God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
– Philippians 3:12-14
Part of running this race is choosing upon what my mind, thoughts, gaze will dwell. Will it be food? Will it be my next hunger so I can eagerly (if not greedily) eat? Will it be my weight? My clothing? How I look? These things have one thing in common…ME.
These verses all challenge me to choose another focus entirely…JESUS, His will, His way, His beauty, eternal things. These things are to be our focus. As we run this race, as we choose to surrender our desires to Him, he alone is to be the focus that drives us onward.
Apply: What are things that you tend to focus on that might keep you from focusing on Jesus? What can you do to be intentional about fixing your eyes on Jesus?
I am so glad to hear that some of you are joining in on this journey. I can’t stress enough that THE single most important thing, as I mentioned yesterday, will be for you to go to the Lord. Listen to what He says to you personally in His Word. Pray things through.
I have set a timer on my watch to beep at intervals. It reminds me to reconnect with Him and it has been incredibly helpful for reminding me that I am soooo dependent on Him. I believe that when someone starts this journey, it isn’t so much about losing weight as it is about gaining something so much more permanent…a heart that is intertwined with God Almighty. Yes, we have a relationship with him already (most of us), but as we take something so mundane as eating and the frequency with which we experience a desire or need to eat and use it to help us learn to lean on him…wow…it will revolutionize anyone’s life!
So, though it may not be what you are after, trust me a bit. 🙂 Let’s use scripture right now and for the next three days (at least?) to help us get our bearings of what might be good for a beginning. I wish we were sitting together in my living room, opening the Word. This will have to do for now! 🙂 You might want to look at Hebrews 12:1-3 in your own bible. Let’s have a mini bible study!
Part 1 of this Mini Bible Study is below. You may want to jot down your thoughts in a journal or in the margin of your bible. Before reading the verses that are in chapter 12, however, for context, chapter 11 is the list of many great people who have demonstrated a ton of faith over the years. The writer of the book of Hebrews has given an impressive list of how faith has been demonstrated in the lives of people who have endured amazing difficulties. It is with the list of these well-known characters in mind, that the words below were penned:
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses,
let us throw off everything that hinders
and the sin that so easily entangles,
and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith,
who for the joy set before him endured the cross,
scorning its shame,
and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men,
so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
Hebrews 12:1-3
Let’s observe what is in this passage.We will only get through verse 1 today!
I am approaching this passage with this question…”What am I called to DO?”
Action #1:(vs. 1) Throw Off or “lay aside.”
What do we “throw off” according to this verse?“Everythingthat hinders” and the “sin that so easily entangles.” When I look up these words in Strong’s online concordance, I see that “sin” can be any path that leads away from God’s righteous ways or anything that misses the mark.
Consider, too, trying to run a race with a big backpack on your back or in huge steel-toed boots. Or, worse, something wrapped around your legs, flapping and twisting as you run. This is the way burdens and sin that God doesn’t intend for us to carry with us can affect us.
Apply: As you consider your life prayerfully, what are things that hinder you from being/doing what you sense God is calling you to be/do?
Apply: What beliefs, thoughts, words, acts is the Lord leading you to throw off that might be sin according to the definition above?
Consider: God doesn’t call us to do this in our own strength. In His grace, He supplies the conviction and the ability to do the tossing off of hindrances, burdens, excess weights and sins!
Returning to the passage, asking the question of “What am I to do?”
Action #2:(vs 1) Run
How is the action to be performed? With perseverance. Click on this link to see what this word means in the original language.
What do we “run?” The race marked out for us. Again, using Strongs, the word translated “race” can mean: “the place of contest, the arena or stadium.”
Apply: As you consider the definition of perseverance, what images does this bring to your mind? In what ways are you willing to demonstrate “the characteristic of a man who is not swerved from his deliberate purpose and his loyalty to faith and piety by even the greatest trials and sufferings.” How do you imagine this will be challenged in the days ahead with regard to food, eating, and your view of yourself and God? What can you do to continue to continue during these trials and sufferings?
Consider: The Lord will enable YOU to hang in there. For me, a vital part of my life’s journey is to realize that he doesn’t ask me to win the entire battle or run the entire race in one moment. He asks me only to put one foot in front of the other right now. One foot in front of the other in this moment again and again is what causes me to make it from one end of the course to the other.
I would love to hear from you if the Lord uses this passage to speak to you at all.
Practical: What can I DO? Whatever God calls me to set aside or toss off. He is calling me to do it now…just this moment. Not for the next 6 months, but right now. Will I? Will I commit to running? It may not be easy, but I can lean on him.
What am I willing to do to really grow and be changed? What am I willing to sacrifice in order to experience God’s best for me?
Gosh. It occurred to me that some may come by this blog wondering not about MY story, but how they can have their own!
So, today begins a series of posts about getting started with a new (non-dieting) approach to eating and to life! 🙂
First a word about what you do NOT want to do!
1.) You do NOT want to weigh yourself! Our desire to weigh ourselves or to track things is often rooted in our dieting pasts. If you don’t like the idea of not weighing yourself, consider how weighing has served you. Has it worked? Has it helped you to realize your goals? Beyond the physical ones, evaluate what weighing has done to your insides–to you as a person. Has it been a part of obsessive thoughts? Has it deprived you of joy? Has it helped with pride or condemnation? Then why not try doing without this time! If this seems IMPOSSIBLE to you, then take the plunge and just give your scale to a friend or family member. Tell them to give it back to you in three months.
2.) You do NOT want to write down what you eat. If our goal is to become “normal” eaters, people who are naturally thin eaters who don’t think or obsess about the next meal or the last meal, then we have to be willing to break free from all the trappings that have gone with diets in the past.
3.) You do NOT want to do this independent from the Lord. If you struggle with believing that God cares about what you eat, search the scriptures to see for yourself. He speaks of food numerous times. Consider the fruit in the garden of Eden in Genesis. Consider Esau selling his birthright for a bowl of stew. At the end of the bible, consider the marriage supper of the lamb. From cover to cover, the bible speaks of choices made relative to food and so many things that are wrapped up in it. God attaches much meaning to the things that go on surrounding the act of eating. Surely if he says that whether we eat or drink (or whatever we do) do it all to the glory of God in 1 Corinthians 10:31, that means there are things to learn regarding how I can eat or how I can eat that can glorify God. I want to find out what HE says about this. Does it glorify him when I OBSESS about what I will eat, the nutrients in it (or not) or what I have already eaten? Matthew 6:25 seems to indicate that this is NOT what he wants for us! So as I approach this new journey or this leg of the journey or as I begin again, I want to find out what God has to say about it. And not just what he has to say about eating and drinking, but about ME and about HIM. I want to go to His Word and see if I have an accurate picture of HIS character! By prayer and waiting on Him, by plunging into the Word of God and studying what is there, I will journey with Him and in the strength He provides.
Points 1 and 2 might leave a void in your life if you have been heavily in “dieting mode.” So I would encourage you now…really dive in deep into #3 above. I will share more about what you can to do begin tomorrow.
Summary: 1.) Don’t weigh 2.) Don’t write down food 3.) Don’t operate independently of the Lord — LEAN ON HIM! 🙂
