Gosh. It occurred to me that some may come by this blog wondering not about MY story, but how they can have their own!
So, today begins a series of posts about getting started with a new (non-dieting) approach to eating and to life! 🙂
First a word about what you do NOT want to do!
1.) You do NOT want to weigh yourself! Our desire to weigh ourselves or to track things is often rooted in our dieting pasts. If you don’t like the idea of not weighing yourself, consider how weighing has served you. Has it worked? Has it helped you to realize your goals? Beyond the physical ones, evaluate what weighing has done to your insides–to you as a person. Has it been a part of obsessive thoughts? Has it deprived you of joy? Has it helped with pride or condemnation? Then why not try doing without this time! If this seems IMPOSSIBLE to you, then take the plunge and just give your scale to a friend or family member. Tell them to give it back to you in three months.
2.) You do NOT want to write down what you eat. If our goal is to become “normal” eaters, people who are naturally thin eaters who don’t think or obsess about the next meal or the last meal, then we have to be willing to break free from all the trappings that have gone with diets in the past.
3.) You do NOT want to do this independent from the Lord. If you struggle with believing that God cares about what you eat, search the scriptures to see for yourself. He speaks of food numerous times. Consider the fruit in the garden of Eden in Genesis. Consider Esau selling his birthright for a bowl of stew. At the end of the bible, consider the marriage supper of the lamb. From cover to cover, the bible speaks of choices made relative to food and so many things that are wrapped up in it. God attaches much meaning to the things that go on surrounding the act of eating. Surely if he says that whether we eat or drink (or whatever we do) do it all to the glory of God in 1 Corinthians 10:31, that means there are things to learn regarding how I can eat or how I can eat that can glorify God. I want to find out what HE says about this. Does it glorify him when I OBSESS about what I will eat, the nutrients in it (or not) or what I have already eaten? Matthew 6:25 seems to indicate that this is NOT what he wants for us! So as I approach this new journey or this leg of the journey or as I begin again, I want to find out what God has to say about it. And not just what he has to say about eating and drinking, but about ME and about HIM. I want to go to His Word and see if I have an accurate picture of HIS character! By prayer and waiting on Him, by plunging into the Word of God and studying what is there, I will journey with Him and in the strength He provides.
Points 1 and 2 might leave a void in your life if you have been heavily in “dieting mode.” So I would encourage you now…really dive in deep into #3 above. I will share more about what you can to do begin tomorrow.
Summary: 1.) Don’t weigh 2.) Don’t write down food 3.) Don’t operate independently of the Lord — LEAN ON HIM! 🙂
“Of all the disasters that can befall mankind hunger is the worst.”
– Friar Tuck, Robin Hood TV Series from late 1950s
I posted the above quote, hoping to stimulate some conversation. I guess context would have been helpful.
Let’s back up a bit. My family and I are total NERDs. We are backwards and sheltered and all of that good stuff that keeps us enjoying one another’s company, hugging a lot even though the kids are 15 and 17, and generally one another’s best friends and worst enemies. We enjoy spending evenings and weekends together and when one of us has an outing or other social event that takes us away from home, there is a distinct “something is missing” sort of feeling. Of course, as the kids have gotten older, we encourage that more and more so they won’t totally be social outcasts. 🙂
Some of the things we enjoy doing in the evenings we spend together include silly games (“Attack of Killer Bunnies,” which is a very complicated card game!) and watching movies (Journey to the Center of the Earth in 3-D is what we were doing when the picture to the right was taken!) old old TV shows now available on DVD…like I Love Lucy, Hogan’s Heroes or Get Smart, or, most recently, The Adventures of Robin Hood, which is a “vintage” TV series, filmed in the 1950s in the UK for US television. Truly, the first two seasons were acting and script-writing at its finest!
In Robin Hood, Friar Tuck is a rather rotund character who bows for food and ale nearly as much as he does for the virtues encouraged by God in Holy Writ. Often, levity is provided for the viewer by the good Father struggling between joining comrades or “lads” in the next task and tale, or being waylaid due to the tantalizing teasing of various culinary delights provided at ale house, castle, or chef in Sherwood Forest.
It is during one such scene that the above quote was extracted. Friar Tuck, who is definitely not lacking a steady supply of food to sustain his ample girth, quips, “Of all the disasters that can befall mankind hunger is the worst” as he dives in to a feast provided by Robin’s men.
I couldn’t help but wonder if the good Friar ever had experienced hunger (save when he was on a holy fast, which does happen in the series on occasion). This was not in the context of lack of provision…children in Ethiopia with distended bellies, or tragic circumstances in Haiti. This was spoken by a clearly well-fed individual, who simply likes to avoid ever feeling hungry.
I wonder how many of us in the US can relate to this sentiment. In this “land of plenty,” most of us aren’t going to bed at night without plenty of food to sustain a healthy life. (Of course, this isn’t always true, but for the majority it is.)
Yet many people don’t ever want to experience the legitimate sensation of being hungry. If we do agree with Friar Tuck and avoid hunger at all costs, it is difficult to ever really know what we need to eat, when, and how much. In fact, much modern dietary advice has focused on telling us we shouldn’t ever allow ourselves to feel hungry and this and that are what we should eat and they even tell us when, as without their advice, we wouldn’t know when to eat.
If one has this particular view…that the worst disaster to befall mankind is to experience an empty stomach, I believe we strive against God and the way he made us. We also fail to learn His sufficiency and provision for us.
Contrast this to the following quote, from Dr. Rita Hancock at her blog:
Many of us are downright petrified of hunger, as though it might actually kill us to feel a teensy bit hungry for a while. But, to look at hunger as a song as a song of praise that God programmed into us is exactly what we need to reframe our thinking about hunger.
We need to retrain our thinking if we are going not just to release extra weight or to become healthier physically, but also spiritually and to stay that way. If we wait on the Lord to teach us to think differently about Him, about ourselves, about hunger, if we choose to reject the “Friar Tuck Mentality”–that hunger is an enemy, a disaster–and, instead, choose to think of it as a song of praise to God, then we are heading strongly along the right road.
Thank you, Lord for this truth and that you are in the business transforming us by the renewing of our minds and our thinking!
…Ok, I know he was just doing his job. But I really didn’t *want* a “fitness assessment” in the first place. I told the marketing director from the racquet and fitness club precisely that. I just wanted the free orientation with the personal trainer that was offered so I could learn how to use the cardio equipment and weight machines should the urge strike me to actually work out.
Over the phone, you can’t really tell if someone is rolling their eyes, of course, but I got the distinct impression he was.
He kindly explained (in that patronizing sort of way) that I should want to know my body composition, get nutrition counseling, and yada yada…I had to (kindly, I hope) interrupt him and explain, “Look, here’s the deal. I come from a place of obsession with this stuff. When I wasn’t Reebok Stepping or pumping iron with the Smith Machine, I was studying to become an American Council of Exercise certified personal trainer. I used to work out so much that the staff at the gym said they were having my mail forwarded to the Stairmaster.”
He had no idea who he was talking to. I mean, I was the Workout Queen. I literally won the title in 1996–had my before and after pics on the front of the club newsletter. I was a Gym Rat Extraordinaire and they even gave me my own parking place (I am not kidding!). My husband calls that my ‘bulimic period,’ since I would eat pretty much whenever, whyever, and whatever and then exercise all the more to make up for all the “energy input,” sometimes 3 hours a day. That was before I started training for the marathons with long runs that could take 6 hours. I know that most of this was behind me by 1998, but I sense just how quickly I could return to it. It frightens me.
I tried explaining to “John” on the phone that I am now in a place of enjoying my freedom and only beginning to try to re-enter this “world” but, this time, do so sanely. I do not want to know numbers of any kind. Not even sets and reps for the free weights I might or might not use. I have been walking in freedom and I want to continue to do so. No weight, no measurements, no calipers, thank you very much!
When we hung up, I thought he understood and I figured that the person that I would have the appointment with would as well.
Truthfully, my family and I joined this club to enjoy tennis and racquetball, primarily…it is closer to home than the club that we have been members of for the past four months (and have hardly used), and if we want to do additional exercising, we could.
So yesterday, my appointment time arrived and “Cheryl” greeted me warmly, sat me down by her desk and got out all the paperwork for the “fitness assessment.” So I explained it all again. To her credit, she actually seemed to applaud my aversion to numbers, labels, scales, and charts.
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.
Stand firm, then, and do not let
yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
– Galatians 5:1
I was surprised by myself, though. She described this computerized print-out program thingie I could get. Each time I go in, I can tell the computer something or other and it will spit out the program I should do today. I was surprised at how tempted I felt by that…just to have a “check list” of things to do when I go in…then the incentive program they have…earn points for each visit. Oh my word. Is that stuff ever tempting. I don’t really understand this part of me that seems driven by these sorts of things.
I didn’t give in to any of that yet. Well, that isn’t so, as I did log in to the Fit Rewards program online to see what they give points for. Thankfully, I could see it wasn’t likely to be a good fit for me just yet.
I wonder when I will be free from fear? This is like I felt about adjusting my food about 8 years ago. Maybe now it is time to apply these principles to this area of my life. I want NOT to live in fear. But to really BE free…not just avoid, but experience HIS sufficiency to keep me from obsessing and losing myself.
Cheryl asked me what my goals are…I have to keep that ever before me. I just want to have fun and stay sane with this stuff. I would love to worship the Lord as I move my body. If I could do these things, I would be thrilled. Add to that fun with my family members or new friends on the tennis court and I would be really thrilled. Simple, it seems. I just want to live LIFE. To be “normal,” free from obsession. I want to glorify and praise the Lord with my thoughts and my actions and my words.
Do you remember the original Star Trek series? Captain Kirk and the crew of the Star Ship, “Enterprise,” were “on a five-year mission to seek out new life and new civilizations and to boldly go where no man had gone before.” On their quest for new frontiers, they consistently ran across evil alien villains and situations that caused alarm to life, limb, and ship!
During perilous times when the ship was in danger, the ship and crew would jump to “Red Alert.” Crimson lights flashed. A klaxon sounded. Battle stations were assumed. Sometimes, during the turbulence and explosions that occurred during these near-disasters, crew members flew from one side of the set…er…ship’s bridge… to the other. Scotty or Sulu blasted the phasers at the enemy, yet again defying intergalactic disaster! The “bad guys” were either blown up or conceded in retreat. We breathed a sigh of relief. Today would not be the day that Captain Kirk’s mission would come to an end.
Over the past 15 months or so, I have experienced a “disaster” of my own. Worse than any “salt vampire” (see image to the left) or other evil alien enemy, however, I have been battling an enemy I can’t seem to ditch. As ridiculous as it sounds, the enemy that hounds me is my pride.
Just recently, I have begun a somewhat tenuous recovery. Even so, the enemy remains. Like a scanner on Enterprise sensing the presence of a life form “from beyond,” there is a “Holy Spirit” alarm blaring.
I first heard it yesterday and it is present in my life as I begin this day as well. It tells me to be vigilant.
I am studying the book of Daniel during my quiet time and, as my eyes fell upon the last phrase in chapter 4 this morning, it resonated with truth for me today:
…those who walk in pride he is able to humble. ~ Daniel 4:37b
Somehow I have a perverse way of changing delight in being obedient into pride. Pride keeps resurfacing. It makes no earthly sense to me! Anything good or godly in me, if there be such a thing, is a product not of me, my efforts, or wisdom. The truth is, I am but a humble servant of the Most High. GOD alone is to be exalted.
I get so darn excited…truly buoyant when I finally string together some babysteps of obedience. My flesh takes that and runs with it into self-exaltation. RED ALERT!!! RED ALERT! And if you will pardon my reference to more than one SciFi series, “Danger!! Danger, Will Robinson!”
I long to find the balance between praising GOD for HIS work in me and proper humility.
His Word says in Philippians 2:13: “For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.
Anything I may do that even remotely seems obedient, good, God-honoring…well, it is ONLY because His Spirit is at work in me motivating me and giving me the ability and desire. This is all grace! I think it is time for an installment at the gratitude blog. I have found that gratitude is a sure antidote to pride.
Time to recommit to practicing it a bit more. I know that when I choose to give gratitude to God, it puts me right in my place where I belong. Today, I will begin afresh committing my way to practicing gratitude.
Long ago, I tried to apply the principles of eating according to physical cues and to go to God for all the other times I was tempted to eat when I wasn’t physically hungry. For some reason, I just couldn’t pull it together. What sounded so simple on paper or on the computer screen seemed a huge impossibility for me. Of course, this made me feel like I was nuts. Why couldn’t I do this? It seemed so simple!
In those days, I didn’t realize it, but there were truly reasons I was in a place of “I can’t.”
I didn’t understand that. So I would beat myself up. I looked at the whole thing–all the weight I wanted to lose and how I constantly ate more than I needed–and just didn’t have a clue why it seemed so HARD. I felt so hopeless!
“I can’t DO this!”
I was right! I couldn’t.
But God wanted to take me PAST the “I can’t!”
God was at work in my life doing things, teaching me things, leading me into recovery over trauma…to forgiveness of myself, others, and, even, Him. I didn’t realize how much I had allowed things I had done in my past or that had been done to me to define me. There was such shame there. God had great plans to free me from all of that…In fact, at the cross the victory had been won. He wanted me to experience it.
I literally had emotional “triggers” that God wanted me to bring to him. His will was for me to stop being in that place of “I can’t.” He used this struggle to show me I needed to bring each of these things to him, to confess what I was struggling with and to ask him for HIS will in this thing. It meant sitting in the pain and emptiness. It meant waiting. NOT something that is fun to do. How much easier it is to stuff the emptiness with food. But he wanted me to wait wait wait…and invite Him into the thing that was causing me grief.
It is a bit more complicated than I have made it sound, but the fact remains, it was a time when “I can’t” was a fact of my life more often than not.
Much healing has taken place. God has taught me a great deal. He has brought me through a ton of stuff and I wouldn’t trade the painful poking, prodding, and flushing out of the wound, given all I have experienced, all He has given me. He continues to do this today of course with the many many “do overs” that he brings my way. But more and more I see what is going on and I welcome it…well, sort of. At least more than in the past.
In any event, something that struck me not that long ago is this: At this stage of my life, any struggle I have to respond to my body’s physical cues to eat or not eat…well, it no longer boils down to an “I can’t.” It is now, simply, an “I won’t!”
Yup, now I am in a different place. I must admit that it is really really humbling, but with all the healing God has brought to me, the experience of living according to these principles imperfectly, but nevertheless seeing changes inside and out, with the renewing of my mind that he has done…wow. I have been transformed! I see it so clearly most of the time! I think differently about food, about portions and, even, about my body and about who I am. Sure, there is still room for much growth. Definitely! But right now, I am in a radically different place than 5 or 10 years ago.
5 or 10 years ago, it really was an “I can’t.”
Now, when I am out of line in my eating, it is definitely more of a rebellious, “I won’t.”
So, what is it for you? Do you find yourself again and again saying, “I can’t do this! What is wrong with me!?” If so, then I urge you…first, don’t beat yourself up. You may really be in a place of “I can’t!”
But secondly, you can experience God’s grace and healing in a practical way. I suggest that you stop focusing on the food and your body and start welcoming what he plans to do INSIDE you. It seems the long way around, perhaps, but it is where the change HAS to begin.
For others of you (and I include myself in this), if you have experienced his healing emotionally and you know that saying “I can’t” now is really somewhat flaky, then join me. Let’s face into our rebellion head on and refuse now to claim “I can’t.” Let’s choose to give God credit for the work He has done and own that we are really digging in our heels to say “I won’t” instead. Sure, let’s keep allowing the inner healing work. But let’s also own that we can TOO say NO to food when we aren’t hungry! Like Dr. Rita says in her book, Jesus is the Lord of me and he says I am lord over my food. I can TOO say no!
For me, I have to be willing to use words like “obey” and “sin” to describe what I am doing (or not doing). That is all there is to it. It isn’t about if I feel like eating the way God calls. It is about obedience. It is about all the other things that happen in life that I want to deal with by eating and, instead of eating, asking God what HE wants for that moment, that experience, that pain.
Again, I am speaking to myself and to anyone who, like me, has seen a huge inner healing and transformation that God has done already. If you know you haven’t yet allowed God access to your unmet needs, expectations, disappointments, and deep wounds, then sure… “I can’t” may be more accurate. Please, then, know that it may be time for you to stop fixating on the scale, the food, clothes, etc., and time to be still and know that He is God. It is time to feel the pain and bring it to him. He will bring you to a place where you can in the strength He provides.
For those of us who WON’T, let’s quit with the “I won’ts.” One moment at a time. Ask for God to soften our hearts to make us willing and do our part to BE willing. Wow, there are blessings in obedience. It is awesome to walk in humility and praise God for the way He is at work in us to will and to do HIS good pleasure!
