This is Samson. He was my soul-mate dog. I think a girl is blessed to have even one dog like that in her life and he was mine. I have had other dogs that have meant a lot to me, but something about Samson was just unique. VERY unusual.
Samson was always willing and eager to come to me when I called. In fact, he didn’t like to leave my side. I could let him off lead and, assuming he had strayed any distance away from me at all, if I called, he would come. He trained with me for the San Francisco marathon so we went on a lot of runs together at Ancil Hoffman Park and along the American River in Sacramento. One of my fastest run times was a “Mutt Strut” that we did. It was a 5k (3.1 mile) race in Davis, California. I had *never* run a 10 minute mile before, but Samson wanted to be at the head of the pack so badly that we went out at a sprint! Oh I miss those days!
Because Samson handled his freedom so well, I was able to allow him privileges that I wasn’t able to offer other dogs before or since.
Probably the most enjoyable of all of these privileges was offering Sammy the chance to go play at a neighbor’s house. “Ben,” a black lab, lived down the street. They LOVED each other. I would make a plan with Ben’s “mom” and, at the prearranged moment, I opened our front door, urging Samson, “Go play with Ben!” He typically hesitated for just a moment, as if to be SURE it was ok. “Yes, Sam! Go have fun with Ben!” Off he ran out the front door and down the street where Ben’s mom had raised the garage door for Samson to enter.
Ben and Sam had their “play date” for a couple of hours and, after they were through, Ben’s mom called me to say the “boys” were done playing and to let me know she was sending Sammy home. She then lifted the garage door and Samson bounded out and came running home where I threw open the front door. I was greeted by the most wonderful doggy appreciation known to man (or woman)!
If Samson hadn’t been trustworthy with his boundaries, I couldn’t have take him on the great runs we did together. He wouldn’t have gotten a chance to play with Ben that way. Samson would have been on a leash a lot more. I would never send him down the street!
Even more than I longed for Samson to delight in romping with his buddy, Ben, God wants me to thrill in the wonderful gifts he gives. He sees what I do with the freedom he offers me, now. The way I abuse the freedom he has given me now, keeps me from experiencing the broadening of my boundaries, I think. With Samson, there was truly a safety issue. Had Samson not been trustworthy with his boundaries, safety would require that I keep him on a leash. I think it is the same way with me with God. Left to myself, I am not trustworthy with the boundaries he has given me. This is to my detriment. God wants me to be free and safe. The boundaries he has given me now are wonderful and yet I chafe. I abuse the freedom I have even now–how can he expand the boundary lines when he knows I couldn’t handle it?
How about you?
Can you identify more with me? Or with Samson? Are you the type of person who responds well to the boundaries that God has established for you?
If you are more like me, what truths can you tell yourself that will help you to delight more fully in the blessings of the boundaries God has established for you and to chafe less? (I am asking myself this question, too!)
Extra
Here is Samson’s memorial video. I share it with you because you will see what I mean about him. He wanted to be close to the one who loved him the most. I want that to be my heart for God. Not only will I experience greater joy, but I know that then he will be able to trust me with broader boundaries. I want all that he has for me.
(The other dog in the video is a wolf hybrid that Sammy rescued. 🙂 His heart broke when Samson went to rainbow bridge. Bo joined him almost exactly a year later. If you want to see his memorial video, it’s here: http://youtu.be/s178EdeIP-k)
My husband works for Union Pacific Railroad. What that means is he travels a LOT. The railroad goes all over the country–so does he. 🙂
Last week, his travels took him to the home of wonderful southwestern and Mexican food – Santa Fe, New Mexico.
In this video, Bob shares his strategies for managing this trip in spite of having very little flexibility for the timing of his meals and what he would be served.
1. Bob clearly is willing to say no to himself in spite of claiming to still have an incessant love for large quantities of food. Are you still battling willingness? Or are you seeing even an incremental movement forward in your life–where you are a bit more willing than you were yesterday, a week ago, or a month ago? CELEBRATE the movement forward! WOOT!
2. Consider an upcoming vacation, trip, or even a meal out. What plan can you come up with so that you can maintain your primary boundary of eating 0 to 5?
3. Sit with the Lord a bit and ask him to give you a truth that you might add to your truth cards related to conferences, traveling, eating out.
4. What is one strategy that Bob uses that you might be able to use?
“I don’t care what my boundaries are…I wasn’t thinking about life on a day like this one when I ‘committed’ 0 to 5 eating.”
“Given what I am facing, surely God doesn’t expect me to just be ‘good’ after a day like today!!!”
“It’s just not fair. How come my sister can eat whatever she wants and never gain weight! It makes me crazy!”
“I am going to hang out on the boat this weekend with the ice chest, snacks, good friends, and just kick back. I’m not going to worry about my eating for a day! I have been good, after all. I deserve a break!”
Can you identify with these statements? Chances are, we all can.
In our society we are told that we deserve the best, we deserve all we can grab. Life should be fair! There is never a need to be sad or uncomfortable with so many options for making ourselves feel happy!
These are lies that we sometimes tell ourselves–lies that take us outside of our God-given boundaries of eating between physical hunger and physical satisfaction. If we want to really experience the victory that we have longed for, we have to be willing to recognize the lies when they appear and replace them with God’s truth. That is what our “Renewing of the Mind” bible study is about this summer. We want to change the way we think, because what we think, affects what we believe, and what we believe, affects our actions. Our actions over time establish patterns and it is those patterns that bring forth fruit in our lives…the results that we either rejoice in or are discouraged by–both in our character and outwardly.
If we want to choose a fruitful life that reflects the Holy Spirit’s presence in our lives, we have to start with what we tell ourselves. How often do we tell ourselves we are entitled to “the good life?” Is this creating an unworkable belief that runs counter to realizing our godly goals?
Here is a 7 minute video on this subject (if you are an email subscriber, you may have to visit the website in order to see it):
I believe that if Justification is a primary reason we eat outside of our 0 to 5 boundaries, then Entitlement is its twin. Truly, if we could eliminate Justification Eating and Entitlement Eating, much of our eating outside of 0 and 5 would stop altogether!
Consider how wonderfully refreshing it is to live with integrity, acknowledging and praising the God of the Universe as he walks personally with you, inviting you into a life of discovery. He is sufficient! No, maybe not in the way we have come to expect in our world of drive-thrus, instant coffee, and microwave ovens. We think we are entitled to bigger, faster, and more. But our God IS huge! His glory fills the entire earth and he invites us to step up into intimacy with him–even as we train ourselves for godliness. It is SOOoooo worth it!
Assignment:
1.) Each week, I have asked you to evaluate if GOD has called you to a primary boundary of eating 0 to 5. If you aren’t convinced that this is something God is calling you to do, I believe you won’t be successful. You will find a million reasons NOT to eat 0 to 5. But if you know God is calling you to do it, if you have a conviction that is deep and abiding, then write it down in your journal and each time you reaffirm that this is, indeed, a conviction that comes to you from God, date it in your journal. I urge you to do this today, too–even if you already did yesterday.
2.) Evaluate if you need to adjust your secondary boundaries. Have you successfully lived with the secondary boundaries you established for yourself previously? It might be time to move forward…to add another one or tweak a prior secondary boundary. For those of you new to this, if you have noticed that you are unaware of physical satisfaction as it approaches, you can observe and correct–see if there are any trends as you look over the past week or so. Are your eating occasions outside of 0 to 5 (your primary boundary) when you are in the car? When you watch TV? Typically limited to one food in particular or when you are with a certain friend? If so, this provides the perfect opportunity to establish a secondary boundary to support you relative to that trend. If you are unclear what secondary boundaries can be helpful to you, post a question here in the comments section. Chances are, someone has dealt with the same challenge as you and has an idea for some supportive secondary boundaries!
3.) Visit this page at Barb Raveling’s website–read and do the bible study and journaling activities on the page. You can print her blog post out and then journal your answers if you like.
4.) What do you believe about entitlement? How has it been affecting your eating?
5.) In the video, I gave the example of my driving as another area of my life where I struggle with an attitude of entitlement. How about you? Where do you see an attitude of entitlement: “I deserve the good life.” “Life should be fair.” or “I shouldn’t have to suffer!” affecting you? What are God’s truths about these situations?
6.) In the video, I mention four steps that can help you eliminate an attitude of entitlement. Try one (or more) of the following and see if it helps you!
Create Truth Cards that remind you daily the truth about entitlement, what God’s view of this is, whether life should be fair or not, and all that comes to the one who is willing to suffer if God calls you to do so. Here is a video about Truth Cards.
7.) Share here with us what God shows you about “Entitlement Eating” this week. How can we pray for you?
8.) Recording of our online class from this week of study (it is a sound file only, so don’t expect a video):
Description:
“I deserve the good life!” “Life should be fair!” “I deserve to never be sad or uncomfortable and if I am any of these things, I will use food to make me feel better because it is my right!”
Many of us have experienced this. Some of us may even live with a sense of entitlement. If we do, chances are we will never be consistent in our Thin Within efforts to eat between the parameters of 0 and 5 (or hunger and satisfaction).
What is God’s view of this attitude? What are we to do instead? How?
Of all the situations and challenges we face in maintaining our primary boundary of eating within 0 and 5, probably the #1 on the list is “Night Time Eating.” If ever there is a time of day that we find ourselves “justifying” eating outside of physical hunger and satisfaction, it is probably 8 times out of 10, from the dinner hour on for many of us.
Here is a sound file that speaks to this. (If you are an email subscriber, you may need to visit the blog site in order to hear the file.)
How about you? Do you struggle with night time eating outside of your boundaries of 0 and 5? What can you do to structure tonight for success? Will you? 🙂
When I was in high school, my friend, Shauna, and I routinely packed away an entire large pizza at the nearby Shakey’s pizza parlor. Another typical activity was entering Baskin Robbins (an ice cream store), talking loudly about “All the people coming over tonight who will enjoy eating a Mud Pie with us…” There were NO other people. We bought the Mud Pie for us to eat all by ourselves! We were just too embarrassed to let the clerk believe that we didn’t have a host of people joining us! (Maybe asking for two spoons was a give away!)
We often joked about how “jolly” we were when we were together because of how much we enjoyed eating together.
Do you have someone like this in your life? Or even sort of like this in your life?
One friend of mine calls an “eating partner” a “drinking buddy.” She has a point. I guess psycho-speak might refer to this as being “co-dependent.”
How do you think God feels about this partnership at this stage of your life? If eating within the boundary of physical hunger and satisfaction is something that you are convinced God wants you to do, maybe you will need to come up with a new strategy for this friendship. Maybe a secondary boundary is in order when/if/for what purpose you get together with your “drinking buddy.” It might be as simple as switching restaurants. You could suggest you split a meal together. Or, perhaps, you could switch “activities” altogether! Is it possible you need just to stop getting together for a month or two? Ouch!
What do you think? Is there someone in your life that you may need to take a “hiatus” from temporarily? What will you gain if you do? What will you lose if you don’t?
