Sounding the horn! Take THIS moment captive! Don’t be taken captive by the moment!
CHOOSE to make a FAITH-FILLED choice instead of a FLESH-FILLED choice!
One tiny moment, one tiny choice…MATTERS!
A day is built of moments and a year is built of days built of moments and a lifetime is built of years built of days built of moments….so capturing even ONE for the Lord MATTERS!
Capture THIS ONE! š
(Me, too!)
At church yesterday, God gave me what I needed to inspire me to look with anticipation at what is yet ahead in 2008! I hope to share it here with you on this New Yearās Eve. Even if it isn’t short!
Pastor Dean Koontz (not the novelist with the same name, but a newly published author just the same) presented a message yesterday called āLiving With Wonder.ā Ooohā¦just the title of the message thrilled me!
My own thoughts and commentary are mixed in with paraphrased quotes from Pastor Dean. I apologize to Pastor Dean for that! If you see anything of value here, credit him. If anything that sounds off baseā¦blame me! š
From Joshua 3:1-5
1 Early in the morning Joshua and all the Israelites set out from Shittim and went to the Jordan, where they camped before crossing over.
2 After three days the officers went throughout the camp,
3 giving orders to the people: “When you see the ark of the covenant of the LORD your God, and the priests, who are Levites, carrying it, you are to move out from your positions and follow it.
4 Then you will know which way to go, since you have never been this way before. But keep a distance of about a thousand yards between you and the ark; do not go near it.”
5 Joshua told the people, “Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do amazing things among you.”
An Attitude of Reservation
Looking back over their wilderness journey, the Israelites may have felt intimidated at the āimpossibilitiesā that still lay ahead. Certainly, the taste of past failure was yet on their lips. They had, after all, been to this place beforeāon the edge of the new land, only to be held back by their own shortcomings, hindered by their own short-sightedness.
Have you wandered around in your own wasteland, hoping to make headway, to give this battle with food, overeating, obsession with your body to the Lord? Do you find yourself troubled by past āfailuresā that it causes you to be skeptical as you look ahead? Do you find yourself held back by your own shortcomings and hindered by short-sightedness? You are not alone!
But Godā¦ (I love those wordsā¦)
But Godā¦ has something in store!
Something ā¦wondrous!
Focusing on nagging failures or besetting sins only feeds the shame that keeps us repeating the same kinds of failures and besetting sins. It doesnāt serve Godās purposes for us at all.
Godās presence in the midst of His people was represented by the Ark of the Covenant. Nevertheless, they may have been tempted to focus on the enemyā¦not upon the Lord. This may have intensified the Israelitesā hesitation. It may have magnified their reservation as they stood on the edge of āsomething new.ā
Who are you focused on? Are you focusing on the Lord God, present with you? Or does the enemy have your attention? Or do you fill your own focus?
In all my struggles, I have often been so pre-occupied withā¦wellā¦MEā¦that I couldnāt see the Lord, let alone fix my eyes on Him, the author and perfector of my faith. (Hebrews 12.)
An Attitude of Preparation
In verse 5 Joshua challenges the people to prepare themselves for what was ahead by consecrating themselves. Consecration is being set apart *from* sin and *to* Godā¦ God called His people to hate sinā¦not just turn from it, but to feel about it as He feels about it. Then, they were to turn to Him, to consider themselves fully given over to Him, for His purposes, His will and His way.
The Israelites were prepared and willing now, in this moment, to follow their savior, Joshua, wherever he led.
Are we willing to follow our āYeshuaā wherever He leads?
In Joshua 24:15, Joshua says: But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.
The people had a choice, as do we. Will we follow our Lord? Our Savior? Or will we bow down to another?
Sanctify yourself to God. Then set your eyes on Him and follow Him where He leads.
In Joshua 1: 7, God says, āBe strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you.ā The attitude of preparation has at least three components to it.
1. The first aspect of an attitude of preparation is to be strong.
Because the Lord is with us, we can be strong in His strength and in the power of His might. (Joshua 1:9)
At
Jericho, an unlikely victory was delivered to the unlikely winner in an unlikely manner because the Lord empowered the victory HIS way. The Israelites were strong in HIM.In fact, if you look further at what happened after Jericho, the conclusion of the second battle in Canaan didnāt go so well. Maybe it was pride at what was accomplished at Jericho..maybe they forgot that it was the presence, power, and provision of God that had delivered the victory. The battle for Ai was a miserable failure. The Israelites were defeated.
In Joshua chapter 7 we see that the Israelites arrogantly assumed the town of Ai would be easy to take so they sent fewer men to attack. They did what looked wise in their own eyes.
Following the defeat at Ai, Joshua threw himself upon the ground and poured his heart out to God about what happened (Joshua 7:6-8). God, in effect, says āThere is a time for prayer and a time for repentance. Get off the ground and take care of the evil in your midstā¦get rid of idolatry.ā We discover the truthā¦they hadnāt been consecrated to the Lord. There was sin in the camp.
How often do we allow the victories that the Lord brings, to cause us to tend toward pride and arrogance? Then, before we know it, we pompously march into ābattleā and find ourselves flattened by what āshouldā have been no match for us? In our flesh, we have no strength. If there is a tiny reserved place in our home or our lives where idolatry is allowed to go unchecked, the Lord will not empower us. We will not experience His strength.
We must be rid of the idolsā¦Return to being consecrated to the Lord.
2. Another component of an attitude of preparation is being courageous. (Joshua 1:3).
Hebrews 13 promises us that God will never leave us or forsake us and in this we can be courageous. We can face whatever foes come with the assurance that God IS present.
3. Yet another aspect of having an attitude of preparation is obedience.
Imagine the command of God to the priests who were told to take the ark and step into the Jordanāat flood stage! It wasnāt until their obedience was committed in faith that they would see the parting of the barrier that kept them from the land.
In Joshua 3:13 they were promised: And as soon as the priests who carry the ark of the LORD -the Lord of all the earthāset foot in the Jordan, its waters flowing downstream will be cut off and stand up in a heap. 
The priests had to āset foot in the Jordanā and THEN the waters would be cut off. Obedience had to come first. Obedience would release the omnipotenceāthe mighty, untamable powerāof God Almighty on their behalf.
In a moment, they would choose to either step foot and trustāmake a faith-filled choice that God would be reliable and do as he promisedāor to hesitate and refuseāmake a flesh-filled choice, allowing their emotions, their fear, to decide. They could, instead, take that moment captive for the Lord and obey His will, His wayāas impossible as it sounds. And they didā¦
We see what happened because of this faith-filled choice. Joshua 3:15-16a says: Now the Jordan is at flood stage all during harvest. Yet as soon as the priests who carried the ark reached the Jordan and their feet touched the water’s edge, the water from upstream stopped flowing. It piled up in a heap a great distance away.
The peoplesā obedience released Godās omnipotence.
Can you choose to believe God in this moment? Even if you fear and quake at the sight of āflood watersā that seem too insurmountable to pass, can you trust to step forward in faith knowing that what God commands He also empowers? Your obedience just may well release the omnipotence of God in your life as well. Rather than be swept up in flood waters, you may be swept up in the powerful flowing current of the Holy Spirit!
An Attitude of Anticipation
Can you imagine being the Israelites? There they stood on the edge of the Jordan knowing that across the river was a new lifeā¦filled with promise, adventure and, of course, uncertainty. (Does this sound familiar to you who hope to leave behind disordered eating, obsessive dieting and unhealthy focus on your body?)
Yet God had traveled with them and was with them now, leading them across the river, promising them a future and a hope.
Imagineā¦stepping into the DRY river bedā¦what had been under raging waters just moments before! Consider the miracle of walking past the priests who remained in the middle of the river bedā¦and the WONDER of seeing the waters piled up, held back by an unseen divine hand! Imagine the awe, the reverence the respect emerging from deep in your heart for so powerful a God as this who could stop the flow of raging currentsā¦
God can do the same in our lives. Let us allow Him to put in us an attitude of anticipation. As Isaiah 43:19 says: God IS DOING a new thing! Do you perceive it? Are you on the edge of your seat anticipating what it will be?
Letās enter the new year with the full intention of possessing everything that God intends for us to possess in Christ! Letās believe what HE says! Letās embrace by faith what is our inheritance! Anticipate by faith the good things He has in store for those who trust in the Lord! Letās live with WONDER!
This is the title of a book that really challenged me when I was stuck. The book was ok, but the TITLE of the book…the question…now that is what I really think the Lord used to UNSTICK me!
So I ask you…
“What’s REALLY holding you back?”
How about if you right now, in this moment, today…toss it aside? Bring down the walls? Blow a hole in the barricades?
Hebrews 12:1-4 says:
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.
A short bible study for you…
1.) What are some things that could hold you back according to this passage above?
2.) What can you do about it according to this passage?
3.) What will that look like for YOU practically?
4.) What practices are you told to take part in according to this passage?
5.) To what degree did Jesus go in removing obstacles and hindrances?
6.) Take a moment and pray in response to these things!
If this is encouraging or helpful, please let me know! (I want the blog to be inspirational, but also offer practical suggestions, tools, insights to help foster change!)
Sometimes, it happens. Another meal out. This one was the kids’ choice–McDonalds. I had the grilled chicken chipotle snack wrap and fries pictured below. The snack wrap has skinless grilled chicken breast, bbq sauce, cheddar cheese wrapped in a flour tortilla. It is pretty good! Actually, a “whole body pleaser” for me. I had fries twice in one day. š®
Anyone still wanna go on a diet? LOL! I can’t imagine!
A “whole body pleaser” is a food that works well with our bodies…this particular choice at McDonald’s of all places tastes really good to me, is cheap, and I feel great after I eat it. I have long known that my body does best when each time I eat at a 0 I have protein. That is one reason why I won’t just eat cereal at a 0 first thing in the morning. I feel cruddy after I do that. If I want to be the best I can be for all God calls me to do in a day, I need to be energized.
I feel a bit embarassed about eating fries twice in one day…a burger, etc…but my husband has encouraged me that it is important to let the world know that a person can eat this way and still release all their extra weight! One thing that TW teaches is that while all things are permissible, not all are beneficial and that I press on from the “freedom” stage to the “discernment” phase. To be honest, the eating you see here is a huge improvement over where I was previously. Gosh, I hated McDonalds before I discovered the snack wrap…instead I would have eaten the 3 or 5 pieces of fried chicken breast and medium fries at Carls Junior and chased it with an Oreo milkshake!
There has been improvement, but I am still in process!
The key is being physically totally hungry and stopping when I am not. 0 to 5 is what that is called and, as one friend reminded me…this is only one tool of Thin Within. 0 to 5 eating is not the be all end all of Thin Within at all! In fact, it is one tiny part…In fact, truthfully, Thin Within isn’t about food, eating, or my body. It is all about the condition of my heart toward the Lord.
Again, I continue to be in process. Where I may have “arrived” at a weight that is healthy for me, I haven’t “arrived” at a condition of the heart that is completely “cured” of any tendency toward greed and other attitudes that must yet be surrendered. It is a moment by moment process. I must choose to surrender constantly. I sense my tendency toward weakness quite often.
Hubby and I have a routine on Sunday afternoons of going out to lunch. We typically stay in town (we live in a small town without many options) and go to “Main Street Cafe” LOL!
We typically get a burger to share and hubby typically orders additional food, but since he has been applying TW principles, he just ordered a taco today.
So I ordered what we usually order together (my favorite there and about the only time I eat red meat! Go figure!)…a barbeque bacon cheeseburger with fries. I planned to take the leftovers home for my daughter and I to share later.
The waiter was confused about the way I ordered my meal…so he brought the entire meal in a carry out which actually worked out well…I think I will do that on purpose in the future. I then took what I wanted out of the carry out to put on a plate and closed the lid.
The picture below shows what I didn’t eat on the left in the carryout and what I actually ate for lunch on the right. What isn’t pictured is the extra barbeque sauce (VERY tasty!) that I dip the french fries in! Oh, and I had three chips and salsa while we waited for our food. Eating slowly makes all the difference in the world.
Yummy! I have had this for quite a while on almost a weekly basis…Oh…before I would have eaten ALL of it all by myself and had dessert when I got home.
When I first began TW I would have eaten half the burger. God encouraged me to refine my hunger numbers as things went on. This meal was about three hours ago and I am just beginning to get hungry again.
I hope seeing these pictures has been helpful. It has been for me to be more accountable. š
I know some of you come to this blog not believing that someone can eat like this and get to their ideal weight, having released 100 pounds! But it is true. And my cholesterol levels are healthy, my blood pressure is still normal. God does amazing things when we eat in moderation. I am so thankful for the freedom He has given me. I truly am.
Through my new friends on the horsemanship list, through the privilege of ministering to another mom with a special son, through the songs he brought on the radio at ājust the right moment,ā I began to hear and receive the things God wanted to speak to my heart, into my head and into my life.
Chief among them was that fear had been an idol. Fear of what I might be doing to āruinā Daniel, fear of what his future might hold (or not hold), all kinds of fear about him. I had allowed fear to determine how I would parent and God convicted my heart that anything that directs me apart from HIM is an idol. God showed me I needed to release my son to His care and that I needed to stop parenting from a foundation of fear, but a foundation of trust instead.
This was the last hold outā¦the last area of my heart that I had not been willing to release and a turning point for me.
I have written about all of this in the blog previously here and here.
I think one reason why this was like a door upon which my entire journeyās progress would hinge is because of the connection this has to humility and gratitude. Apart from a heart of gratitude, I would continue to be arrogant and prideful. My food, my way, my body, my life, my lusts, mine mine mine! Like Gollum in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, I greedily clung to āmy precioussssssā¦ā
I am called to deny self and to die to my flesh. It is pretty hard to do that if I am constantly bowing before my flesh and its so-called ārightsāā¦a ārightā for more food, a ārightā to have a āsmackerel of something sweetā after dinner and lunch, a ārightā to zip into the drive through whenever I am out.
It is impossible to consistently die to the flesh if I insist that my flesh has rights. God is God.
If God has ādisappointedā me and I insist that I know best in any area of my life, there really is no way I can walk in humilityāsomething that is necessary if I am going to trust Him with my needs (like for food) and obey what He says based on humble trust.
It was at that time that I began this blog, hopeful that God was doing a new thingā¦againā¦in my life. This time, I dared to believe that it was for good. I dared to believe that all the pieces from the previous years were coming together to enable me to āget it.ā
This time, I hoped that there would never again be a series of ābeforeā and āafterā pictures. This would be it.
I have come to believe that in āGodās great economyā nothing is wastedā¦not my āfailures,ā not my strugglesā¦and not even my sin. While he doesnāt condone my sinful wanderings, I believe he redeems themā¦which means he cashes the worthless in for something of value!
While I still must consciously relinquish my heartache about Daniel (and the horses, and my mom andā¦well, the list goes on!) to Him almost daily, I understand now that this is a big part of struggles I face when I begin to eat more than I need (outside of 0 and 5 or hunger and satiety)āwhen I eat out of rebellion. If I find my eating is back in āI can TOO eat what I want WHEN I want!ā mode, then I know to look only as far as these questions:
1. Is there someone I need to forgive?
2. Am I striving against God being God? Have I allowed arrogance and pride to raise their ugly heads yet again?
3. Am I practicing a life of humble dependence and gratitude?
Truly, these questions have been foundational for me in making headway since November 2006. They were like the missing piece of the puzzle that caused things to begin to āclick.ā But by now you know that none of this came easily.
In addition, knowing without a doubt that this moment matters has also been crucialāknowing that God can take a heart offered to Him in a moment and do amazing things with it!!! Even if it is offered only in this moment! The choice I make right now is critical. Minimizing it is making a choice. I must make the choice that is intentional because let me tell ya…the enemy is very intentional about every single moment in our lives! I want to be equally–MORE–intentional in resisting the enemy’s influence in my life.
As I surrendered myselfāmy eating, my parenting, my sonāto the Lord during the holiday season in 2006, I heard from Judy Halliday again. She and Joani Jack, a pediatrician, were working on a book manuscript due to the publisher in the Spring of 2007. They asked me to help out a bit with developing the manuscript for Raising Fit Kids in a Fat World.
God again offered me the inestimable privilege to do what I love and this time, ironically, in the merging of parenting and eating the Thin Within way! In February and March, I had great joy as I participated in this book project. Had I been contacted only six months earlier, I wouldnāt have been willing. Godās timing amazed me as I felt His loving touch of affirmation that I was finally surrendering to Himā¦in a way He had asked me to years before.
Judy and I are working together again now on a new material for Thin Within and I trust that it will be something that God will use to help show people His Way of Escape! I am excited about it and covet your prayers if you donāt mind!
A passage of scripture that speaks to my heart about what God has done (and is yet doing) comes from Joel 2. I know this is not an accurate exegesis of this passageāI donāt claim that it is, but the words here, at face value, just cause my heart to well up with such love. I feel as if they *are* promises to me. All those years of dieting and shame and self-loathingā¦and even the years of āpretendingā to be a āfaithful Thin Withinā writerā¦they seem like the years that the ālocusts have eaten.ā I am reconciled with food, with my body, with the Lordā¦
This is what God says:
I will repay you for the years the locusts have eatenā
the great locust and the young locust,
the other locusts and the locust swarmā
my great army that I sent among you.
You will have plenty to eat, until you are full,
and you will praise the name of the LORD your God,
who has worked wonders for you;
never again will my people be shamed.
Then you will know that I am in Israel,
that I am the LORD your God,
and that there is no other;
never again will my people be shamed.
God has set me free from shame. He has set me free to live in humble dependence on Him. The previous ten years when I thought I had āblown it,ā sureā¦I had āblown itā from a human perspective. But he has taken all of that and is using it now to bring home life lessons upon which He is building a new futureāone of hope, optimism, freedom, ministry, and, even, good health. He has set me free from so many things and through experience, now, I know the power of God. It was there all alongā¦I didnāt yet āperceiveā it.
He says to each one of us:
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.
Isaiah 43:19
I can hear the waters rushing nowā¦ š
This “meal” is pastrami, mixed with barbeque sauce, with pepperjack cheese, heated up in the microwave. Then it is put on a french bread roll.
I don’t know if these pictures do justice to the portion difference. But here is the description:
1.) First one is a full-sized roll (about 8 inches) on a dinner-sized plate, filled to the gills with the pastrami-sauce-cheese mixture sitting on another slice of pepperjack cheese. I would have easily eaten the whole thing in October of 2006 and chased it with dessert!
2.) Second image is what I actually served myself…not quite half of the sandwich in the first picture. Hubby got the other part, a bit more than half.
I put it on a salad plate…again, my habit, but you probably can’t see the difference in portion size! Oh well!
3.) What was left when I was no longer hungry…hubby had a bite of that and the dogs ate the rest…Gosh, I have done a food log for me, for hubby, and for our dogs here today! LOL! Unless I miss my mark, I may be hungry again by 9pm. (Are you all cringeing about what I eat in a day? LOL!)Hubs isn’t cooperating.:-) Now that HE is trying to eat 0 to 5, we have to get creative. So I got hungry, but he didn’t want dinner yet. Well, that means a snack. š I asked hubby to serve up whatever he thought would be a fair representation of a snack I might have eaten in the past. 
This is what he said was a typical snack for me (see above). He is right. You can’t really tell just how much ice cream is in this bowl…but a LOT! Nothing wrong with ice cream. In fact, I am pretty sure I will have some at *some* point today! LOL! I chose NOT to have ice cream this time for two reasons 1.) I really want some salsa! Weird…veggies winning over ICE cream? How bizarre is that? God IS doing a new thing! LOL! and 2.) Ice cream sustains me too long…I want to be hungry when hubby is and veggies don’t “stick to my ribs” too long where ice cream does!
So, then I dished up that salsa I was hoping to have for dinner (he wants something else other than Mexican…) to have as a snack instead. My goal was to eat just enough that I am not miserable from hunger any more and can wait until he is ready to have dinner before I eat my next meal. So, in TW-speak, this would be eating 0 to 2 or so. This is what I dished up:
Not much to it…LOL! But eating slowly, I don’t really notice how little it is! If you eat half as much twice as slowly, you feel like you are getting just as much! LOL!
After enjoying my veggies…something I ONLY do in fresh salsa:
I had some to return to the serving dish!!! Crazy, huh? What you see in the photo below reflects what I didn’t eat of the portion I served myself. See what I mean? There isn’t much food, but what I eat is REALLY YUMMY!!!!!! WHOO HOO!
I could never return to dieting…this is too easy and too fun.
Whatcha think? š (Nevermind…don’t answer that…”nutcase” to be sure…)
This is just for fun! š
Hubby has been observing my eating and releasing of weight for over a year…He mentioned last night that had he not seen it, he never would have imagined that someone could survive on so little food. But he sees me doing precisely that. He suggested I take before and after pictures…but of FOOD portions!
So for fun :-), I am chronicling that today…what I am eating and what I would have prepared for myself in the past…to show the differences. He is helping me to serve up the “before” servings so I don’t fail to include as MUCH as I used to eat…This is what we have so far:
In October of 2006, I would have easily chowed down what we have here–three donuts and at least one tall glass of 2% milk (if not two glasses!).
There is nothing at all wrong with donuts. Donuts are good, they are our friend :-), but I would have eaten THREE easily and been stuffed to the gills…and not given a flying fig! It takes a lot of food to sustain 250 pounds. So, this would have been the ticket to start the day.
This morning, what I actually served myself is seen in this photo to the left. I love love love winter wheat bread, slathered in peanut butter, sprinkled generously with granola complete with almonds in it. This is chased with a small half mug of milk. YUM! This is a whole body pleaser for me. I find that if I start the day with a donut now, I crash and burn quickly. I *can* do that if I want, but I don’t feel it is the best thing. “Permissible” yes, but not beneficial. In fact, sometimes I have a donut for “second breakfast” but that is another story! I didn’t eat for the first time until 9am this morning…which would typically be about the time I get to a 0 for “second breakfast!” 
LOL! So…when I was all done eating the above breakfast, the photo to the right shows what I hadn’t eaten.
Presto! I went from 0–totally empty, to a “I am not hungry any more” and I call that a 5 or satisfied. I used to have a really hard time “finding” 5…I discovered that it was a place I would fudge quite a bit…to see how much I could *stuff* in before going too far. Now I generally stop where I am comfortable…and that is marked by not being hungry any more. It makes it much simpler.
My husband pointed out that the amount of food it takes to sustain a healthy person really is not much at all. The problem is we WANT to eat more! We WANT to be able to justify it! But our bodies are SO efficient!
This isn’t about anorexia either. Please don’t email me about that! (If it helps, my doctor is PLEASED with my weight/health!) If I get hungry, I am delighted to go eat whatever I desire. My goal, however, is to stop when I am not hungry any more or move around rigorously (cantering on one of my horses?) without having that erppy, burppy feeling that comes from jostling a stomach that is too full. Does that make sense? š
So lunch in the past would have been at least what is pictured here to the left… This is four pieces of pizza on a dinner plate with a couple of tablespoons of real butter for spreading on the crusts. Each and every bit of food would be gone…and probably a bit more than this. I would have gone back for more!!! Again, this is what I served myself in the PAST. I would probably read while I ate it, too…and not even “register” in my mind that I was eating. I wouldn’t enjoy my food…I would inhale it instead….and I would probably have “dessert” afterwards. After all…eating lunch and dinner always were followed by something sweet–often a heaping bowl of ice cream. Nothing wrong with pizza, donuts, ice cream. But that was a LOT of food!
To the right is what I served myself today when I was at a 0 at noon. Two pieces of pizza and about one tablespoon of butter (yes, the real thing) on a salad plate. I prefer to serve myself food on a salad plate.
In fact, I recently put my dogs on a “diet” so they could still enjoy the table scraps they get…I figure dog food meal after meal can’t give them all the nutrients they need…it has to be far better for them to get a bit of cheese, bread, granola and peanut butter on occasion…ya think? They agree!!!
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