Have you ever felt like roadkill? I don’t mean the kind where you can tell what kind of unfortunate animal stepped in the way of a speeding motorist, but the kind that has been on the road for days and that now is nothing but a flattened mass of gray fur barely discernible on the asphalt?
That is me this morning.
Yesterday was, perhaps, the roughest day I have had in forever. And today has begun with a continuation of yesterday’s drama because I can’t seem to let go. Replaying conversations again and again between myself and someone I care about…it is just serving to make me miserable.
Sadly, today is my daughter’s 15th birthday. I really must get over myself and not ruin her day. I can’t even give myself the luxury of processing the situation that has put me in this frame of mind.
Today, nothing is left, no one is home. I am spent. I am left scratching my mangled head (and heart) about why God seemed to have led me to do something if it was going to result in such overwhelming sadness for me and for another. Why did I feel *confidently* that he wanted me to leap into oncoming traffic if I was only going to be taken out? I thought (arrogantly, perhaps) that he was using me to run a rescue of sorts. Even as I type this, I feel a sense of “Woe is me…I am such a victim!” Good grief.
This morning, God met me in my grief. I could barely lift my eyes to look toward him. But HIS beauty is what this is about…HIS face, HIS life in me, HIS will, HIS love, HIS plan…and I must do faithfully that to which He calls and, as one wise friend recently stated, leave the response of anyone else to Him. I can grieve that she felt more led to roll over the top of me than to stop and pause and ask God what His plan in this experience was. But now it is time to peel myself off the pavement…or allow God to lift my eyes Heavenward.
What, after all, have I been crowing about here on the blog for the past few weeks?
As I opened my book to chapter 9, I was amazed yet again by God’s timing…that today, of all days, I would read these words–words I have read so many times before. Living a charmed life has some drawbacks. When I have an experience like yesterday, I feel totally unprepared, out of my element, absolutely uncertain what to do and how to move forward. So, in my previous readings of this chapter, it is fair to say, I have never been in quite the place that I was this morning.
I highlighted almost all of page 87, in fact. I want to share the words written there. I feel like the fact that God brought these words to my eyes and heart this morning shows his incredibly loving, sovereign, omniscient character:
…our current suffering isn’t the only truth upon which to focus. It isn’t even the primary truth. What our sovereign God has purposed in Heaven is more real than what we can see. “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).
We can rest assured that no suffering is wasted when it is placed in God’s hands. No single heart aches that His doesn’t ache all the more. The Scriptures teach that the Lord has a record of all our tears (Psalm 56:8). We know that Jesus wept with Mary and Martha….We know that one day our Lord will wipe away every tear from our eyes (Revelation 7:17).
God uses each and every tear we have shed and every pain we have experienced to form and mold our character, to strengthen us, and to draw us closer to His heart. He wants us to experience His strength and sufficiency. He uses our affliction to cause us to see our need for Him and our struggles with food, eating, and our bodies to send us to Him, to look for His solution. In our weakness, He is made strong. He uses even this personal battle you are experiencing and He will redeem it for His glory. (Thin Within, pages 87-88)
As you might well imagine, reading this and the following pages, encouraged my heart so very much. I felt like God was personally in the midst of my trial–He is!
I must admit, however, that in my tiredness and being overwhelmed emotionally, yesterday, I reverted to old coping mechanisms. Perhaps not to the extreme that I did in the past, but my heart was hardened and I wanted to no longer feel pain…to numb myself. I ate outside of godly parameters and drank Wild Cherry Diet Pepsi outside of godly parameters as well. :-/ I ignored the call of my Savior in these things.
Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him! -Isaiah 30:18 (NIV)
The NASB renders this verse “He waits on High to have compassion on you…”
Why do I keep him waiting to show me compassion?
This morning Jesus no longer had to wait. ๐ He met me in the quietness of my private time with him. What a gentle, loving, kind Shepherd.
At the bottom of page 89, I am asked directly, “Are you currently in the midst of a challenge or trial?” Well, yes…I am. Then, the book admonishes “Ask the Lord to reveal His purposes for allowing this trial…” Ok…so I wait. If nothing else, I am reminded yet again of how desperately needy I am for HIM. Apart from Him, I am lost.
I have been struck by some thoughts about the incident at the Mount of Olives…when Jesus is with his disciples and a contingent of soldiers and, apparently, some others, comes for Jesus. Judas hands Jesus over. A number of Jesus’ followers are, apparently, carrying swords.
I have been thinking about Peter’s act–his intentions, his motivation, and his misguided notion that a sword was the answer to the problem…and the video below offers some of my thoughts on the subject.
I was reminded in my quick overview of chapter 8 in Thin Within this morning, that this is so like our situation…we have been given weapons with which to fight. But they aren’t the weapons that make “worldly sense.”
What makes sense…the quick fixes of focusing on the food, bathroom scales and so on…these things don’t really solve the deeper issue and can, in fact, make things so much worse. Just as they did for Peter:
For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.2 Corinthians 10:3-5
The weapons we are called to fight with are not the weapons of this world! They won’t be those of worldly wisdom and what “science” seems to offer! Our weapons have DIVINE power to DEMOLISH strongholds!
Which would you rather, my friend? Hack off an ear? Or DEMOLISH strongholds in your life? ๐
I know my answer.
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. – 2 Corinthians 4:18
Emotions are so powerful. So often, emotions that affect me are triggered by a lot of things–and not always in the here and now. I have found it helpful to get to the root of what is going on…looking at my behavior…the emotions that seem to be behind it and then evaluating.. “Why am I responding with this emotion?” Sometimes, it isn’t even rooted in reality!
For instance, there are a lot of things happening at my church these days. I am very involved and so this affects me deeply. Many people I love a great deal have left and even our pastor is leaving by the end of July. I have found myself responding with a broad variety of emotions…VERY extreme, at times. From absolute overwhelming sadness, to extreme anger…at people, at leadership, at GOD! And I have had a million other emotions, too!
As I analyzed this, I began to realize that some of what was happening inside of me (and subsequently affecting my outward behavior) was rooted in wounds of my past. My extreme emotional reaction that made me want to head for the hills and not look back was because of all kinds of wounds of the past that had not yet really healed. God helped to dismantle my reactions and has begun to work his healing…so that I can do “present time” living–responding now to what is really happening now.
All of this influences my eating–my coping mechanisms of all kinds–whatever I do not to feel so intensely.
I would love to know what the Lord showed you, if you did the emotional eating exercise on pages 68 and 69 in chapter 7 of Thin Within.
God definitely revealed some things to me in my reading and I am so thankful for His faithfulness to do so. For me, for instance, I don’t have a tendency to eat too much when I am emotional or tired–not like in the past. What I seem to have now, is a tendency to want to drink certain drinks that have been challenges for me to keep in moderation in my life, like Diet Cherry Pepsi or something like that. It seems now I have to watch myself when I am overly tired or feeling frustrated, angry, or emotionally disconnected from my husband (he travels a lot)…I don’t tend to sit down with a half gallon of ice cream or a tub of cookie dough as I did in the past, but I will want to “sneak” a favorite drink that I have to keep in moderation in my life…
It isn’t so much the *what* that concerns me as the attitude of “sneaking” and “I deserve this!”
Yikes! So the Lord has shown me that yes there IS work to do! ๐ How about for you?
Did you read the reasons we overeat? Which of these can you relate to?
I would love to know if anyone here tries the suggestions made at the bottom of page 71 to put signs on the fridge or cupboard that says, “Am I really hungry?” or “Do I want to bury my feelings by eating when I’m not hungry?” or “Do I really want to be my natural God-given size?”
Let us know if it helps you to run to the Lord instead!
As you become more aware of your fat machinery, it really will dismantle a bunch of the reasons you may turn to food for reasons other than physiological hunger.
I hope you keep spending time praising God for his attributes and the way he interacts with you, his precious child!
I am running this morning to do stuff in preparation for Vacation Bible School next week. But I did want to give you the “official tentative” assignment! LOL!
For this week…between now and Sunday June 28th, I will be focusing on the rest of Chapter 7, chapter 8, and chapter 9.
Please continue to keep your list of God’s character and how the authors assert he relates to humans. Again, EVEN BETTER if you add to it from your reading in God’s Word! ๐
If your list is getting really long now, and I hope it is, each day pick 5 of the things you have written to meditate on (focus your heart and mind on) and to pray a prayer of praise and thanks to God for what that particular thing on your list means to you and how you feel about that. Sometimes, when I am scattered in my thoughts as I pray, I will journal my prayers. Writing them out helps me to focus so much better most of the time!
God created me to glorify him–to make Him known–to reflect to the world how awesome and wonderful He is!
Nothing is beyond His restorative touch. (Praise you, Lord!)
The Lord will meet me.
He will encourage me.
God’s gentle guiding hands will strengthen me.
He is with me.
He will provide comfort, strength, and help.
He will uphold me as I press on and as I work through the exercises in the book, too!
How many of these things that are asserted by the authors of Thin Within do I actually believe? If I don’t believe them is it because they are inconsistent with God’s Word? Or is it because of something else? Do my actions reflect that I believe them if I say I believe them?
What I believe about God and how he relates to me is truly foundational. If I don’t believe the truth about him, then I approach life and this study with faulty assumptions. These faulty assumptions will undergird my responses to everything–to trials that come my way, to people, to things I struggle with, to God–and these faulty assumptions will continue to affect whether I go to God and trust Him, or if I trust something tangible like food more.
In effect, I will be building on lies…a faulty foundation!
This is why I have been harping on creating your list of God’s attributes and how he relates to you…and challenging you to please take time not only to create this list, but to take 5 of these things on your list (or more) each day (or each time you are tempted to eat when not hungry!) and to praise God for them! If you continue to do this, you will be replacing faulty assumptions, lies, with the truth…and this will be that upon which you build! You can’t go wrong if you do this.
As circuitous a route as this may seem to get to where you want to be physically, I can promise you that God will use this to transform you! Inside and out! And that the change won’t be temporary…it will be permanent. It will also affect any and all strongholds you may have in your life! God will blessedly invade your life!
So here are some thoughts that go with the focus of this chapter…
Have you been committing (or trying) to focus on other things until your body says it is physically hungry?
What emotions, thoughts, feelings, have surfaced as you have? (Most people find themselves getting a bit irritated or even angry.)
What have you done with these thoughts or feelings?
How has God been meeting you?
When I eat when I am not hungry, there may be some faulty assumptions underlying my rebellious attitude or other feelings or actions. For instance:
ACTION: Eating when I am not hungry. FEELING: I want it. I am anxious. I want to eat. There will be a “release” in it for me. UNDERLYING ASSUMPTION: God can’t or won’t be sufficient. Taking my agitation (or whatever emotion it is) to Him in prayer is a waste. I am not even willing to try.
Let’s break this down a bit further…WHY am I not willing to try? Because I don’t believe he cares about this issue or will show up. He ultimately doesn’t care and I don’t trust him.
OUCH! The more I trace what is at the heart of my eating outside of 0 to 5 parameters, the more I notice…it sure seems like it can be traced, ultimately, to a root of distrust…to a foundation of lies about the Lord and His character and a lack of belief that what He says about Himself in His Word and about me in His Word is true.
Bible Study Please look at this passage of scripture by clicking on this link. (It should open in a new window.)
Deuteronomy 1: 26-32 is an intriguing passage.
In verses 26 and 27, what were the actions and attitudes of the Israelites?
In verse 27, what was an underlying assumption that the Israelites had about how God felt about them?
What did this underlying belief cause them to assume about God’s purposes for them in verse 27?
In verses 29-31, Moses refutes the lies that the Israelites believe with the truth. List the things he included when he challenged the false beliefs and assumptions.
What imagery does Moses use in verse 31? Describe what you imagine as you consider a father with his child…
Do you believe God is tender like this with you? If not, it might explain your rebellion, just as the lies the Israelites believed explained theirs!
THIS is why I will continue to encourage, exhort and harp on the idea that we MUST keep a list of God’s attributes–of truth–and truth about how he relates to each of us! It will cause our rebellion, ultimately, to melt away…as we ask God to help us to believe these things…he WILL. As we begin to believe the truth about who God is, as we allow HIM to fill our vision, be our focus, our desires, frustrations, emotions will have less and less hold on our lives! Just as darkness cannot contain the light, lies can’t contain the truth. Truth sheds light abroad in us and the lies that have been undergirding our paradigms will fade like night fades at dawn.
Practically Speaking When you are faced with a behavior that you know isn’t appropriate, take some time to journal the following (suggested in The Search for Significance by Robert S. McGee):
Journal a description of the situation. Describe it as dispassionately as you can.
Emotions: What emotions are you feeling in response to this situation.
Ungodly Actions: What ungodly actions have you taken or are you tempted to take?
False Beliefs: What do these ungodly actions indicate about what you believe? Do you believe that the hot fudge sundae will make you feel better? Do you believe that “reading the riot act” to your Mother-in-Law will solve the problem? Do you believe that God isn’t sufficient to bring about His resolution? Keep breaking down whatever your answer is, tracing it back to its very root, until you can see if it isn’t ultimately rooted in what you think about God and His character…or about what you think you “deserve” or something related to self.
God’s Truth: Hunt the scriptures (or your list of attributes of God) for God’s truth to refute the false assumption or lie that you are believing in this situation.
Godly Response: In light of the truth that you know, what godly actions would follow?
Can you commit to these godly actions? Prayerfully ask God to help you to trade the lies for his truth, an ungodly response or action with the godly actions that follow embracing truth.
Let us know what happens.
This will really make a huge difference! I promise! ๐
Tomorrow I will finish chapter 7. The assignment for this coming week will be chapters 7, 8, and 9. I would love to see you all “check in” and update us.
How are things going with 0 to 5 eating and the keys to conscious eating?
How are you doing with your list of God’s attributes? Do you believe the things on your list?
What is God teaching you? ๐
Until tomorrow, you are on my heart and in my prayers!
Hi, everyone. I am excited about the new material being woven together for God’s precious sheep! YAY! Thank you for your prayers! They were felt mightily. I would continue to covet your prayers!
Needless to say, I didn’t get any additional study done in our Thin Within book study! So…I am behind another week!
Today, though, I want to share something with you…a video from You Tube… “Just As I Am” sung in his inimitable way by Brian Doerkson … it is powerful. As you watch it, if you do, please know to the depth of you being…the LORD LOVES YOU right now…totally. He accepts you NOW, as you ARE…no matter your size, shape, struggles. You can’t do a single solitary thing to win his love more. You can’t “convince” him you are worthy…he declares you worthy.
And if you are touched at all by this song, could you please post a comment at You Tube? (Just click on the video where it says YouTube to arrive at YouTube to see the video and be able to comment.) The lady responsible for the video could use encouragement herself. I would love for us to minister to her for her willingness to minister to us. Thank you…let Jesus love you through the words of this timeless hymn!
Have you ever been doing your thing, going through your day, trying to cope with what comes your way and found yourself mid-way through a half-gallon of Oreo Nut Fudge ice cream–wondering “How did I get here?” It is possible that what you were dealing with was what is called “Fat Machinery” in chapter six of Thin Within.
To illustrate this concept, I want to share a video with you. Actually two video clips edited into one.
First video clip: In this clip, we meet two unique beings discussing food. The man on the left has never been human before. He is an alien who never felt hunger or tiredness, but is now being punished for naughty behavior by being made into a human with all a human’s failings and frailties. The man on the right is an android. He wants to be human, but isn’t. He has earnestly studied humans and human behavior so that he can emulate them in his quest to become “more human.” In this clip, the robot offers advice to the alien-turned-human. What he shares is his observation of fat machinery in action.
Please watch the first part of the video clip below, then pause it and read the description of the second clip before viewing it.
View the first part of the clip now. When you get to the girl dressed in pink, click on pause and return here. ๐
Did you view it? ๐ Good…now answer these questions:
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What is the fat machinery in this clip? What unconscious behavior pushes the humans that the robot has studied to choose food?
What did the alien say was his reason for ordering TEN chocolate sundaes? Can you relate?
The truth is, we sometimes DO feel better when we eat when in a bad mood. But (and this is an important “but”)…the greater truth is we still have to cope with what made us unhappy or in a bad mood.
Letโs dismantle our fat machineryโฆwe do this by acknowledging it and rejecting it! Ask yourself the question…WHY am I eating!?
In the second video clip, we will see Princess Mia (dressed in pink). She is in line to inherit the throne of Genovia. She has been groomed by her Grandma for this job (played by the inimitable Julie Andrews). At a ball, Mia danced with the man who introduced himself, simply, as “Nicholas.” She accidentally stepped on his foot in the ball scene (not shown) and there had been much made over it. The evening had ended without her ever learning more about the “dashing, mysterious” Nicholas. Now, in the scene you are about to view, she is told someone is challenging her right to the throne of Genovia and he is coming to stay at the palace. In this scene, she greets the nasty person who wants the throne, only to discover it is the gentleman she had been so taken by at the ball…As we begin our clip, Mia is dismayed and disgusted by “Lord Devero’s” claim to the throne…and even more so when she sees who he is.
Watch the rest of the video now. When you get to the end, return here. ๐
Did you watch the rest of the video?
After you watch the rest of the video clip, answer these questions:
What emotions did Mia have that she was trying to bury in the Haagen Daaz?
Can you identify with this at all?
In the book, another example of fat machinery is discussed…It is the way we use, and our responses to, the bathroom scale. Last week I challenged you all to get rid of your bathroom scale. My accountability partner drove off with my scale and I am still THRILLED–but, honestly, it has taken me two and a half years to be willing to do that!
Read the comments by the authors on page 59 about the bathroom scale. Please prayerfully consider the challenge to let go of relying on your bathroom scale–just for the summer if you can’t imagine a lifetime without it! Instead, wait on the Lord, focusing on HIM for what he will do inside your heart and on your body as you trust Him to lead and direct you!
The more we abide by God’s hunger scale (hunger and satisfied cues in our body), the less we feel the need to rely on the bathroom scale. Remember it is about so much more than our size! After we release all our extra weight, God will continue to use the hunger scale to direct our eating.
Here is a thought…so often jumping on the scale is something we do to see “Did I get away with it?” more than anything else! This isn’t a godly approach. Do we really want to endorse it in our lives? I have to give that up. It is HARD for me…I must admit. But I know this is one thing God wants me to work through.
For your consideration:
1.) If someone were to video a scene in your life, would they likely find you turning to food for comfort like the alien or Mia? I know they would me! Invite God to help you to wait on him in moments like those…and to allow HIS truth–that HE is sufficient–to be what you feast upon!
2.) Can you develop a list (maybe on index cards) of bible verses that you can use to “feast upon” when flesh machinery has kicked into high gear for you? If you have a “scripture pantry” of sweet words to feast upon in moments like that, perhaps you can defeat a tendency to run to food outside of physical hunger. Feel free to share any verses with us that God may use to encoruage you in moments like that!
3.) What other examples of fat machinery did you become aware of as you read the chapter? I remember in 2006 when I read this for the 10th (or so time), I became aware of a new one for me…it was weather! When it was storming outside I felt the need to bake! I am a weather weanie and used food to “comfort me” when I was worried about lightning striking a tall pine tree and smashing my house (I need a sanctified imagination! Can you tell?)
4.) Continue to keep your list of God’s attributes and take a few moments to praise him for his character and how he relates to you. My list grows each time I read the book. Sometimes it grows more than other times…But by now I hope you have a pretty long list…Why not pick 5 things on it and spend some time praising God for what these attributes mean to you?
I am heading out of town this evening for a couple of days…I may fall “behind” my tentative assignment for this week. I will actually be working with Judy Halliday on a new project (YAY!). I welcome your prayers for the Lord’s will in that.
The Lord says: “These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is made up only of rules taught by men. – Isaiah 29:13
God has used my horses many times to teach me truths about His awesomeness or ways in which He is working on my character. This morning, as I spent time making my way through the rest of chapter 5, one of these lessons came to mind.
In the photo above, you can see that Harley is moving his feet forward…going in the direction that I ask. See if you can see any differences between the picture above and the picture below…
Do you see it? His feet are going the direction I have asked in both instances. In the picture on the top, where does his heart appear to be? Where is his thought? Look at his body–his neck is all upright and rigid–and you can see what we call “brace.” His physical brace reflects that his heart and his mind aren’t with my heart and mind–they are braced, too. They are distracted. Going the direction I have asked is well and good, but my desire is for him to go with his heart…with his thought. In fact, when it comes to horses, this is important for *safety* (but that is another story all together!).
In the second picture, Harley is “with” me. He is coming along as a willing partner. I am the lead partner…and he isn’t just taking his feet resentfully where I ask. His mind and heart are there, too. Do you see the softer looking muscles in his neck? His eye is softer too…His ears even reflect that he is WITH me. It is a great start of the two of us doing what I have asked with willing, eager, united spirits.
He is doing more than just mechanically going where I ask him.
God told me to do Day 5 in the book. So I dutifully got up this morning and finished the Mirror Mirror Exercise and the rest of chapter 5 in the Thin Within book.
But it was mechanical. The “feel” wasn’t there. I did it with my body and mind, but my heart was far from the exercise. I was like Harley in the first picture…my mind and heart were *not* with what I was doing. I was braced. I tried…but I felt like I just am not able to really offer God a whole-hearted “yes, Lord” like I have before when doing this exercise.
This has exposed some work that needs doing…definitely. I must welcome the Lord to search my heart and know my anxious thoughts…and expose what is there…allowing him to root it out.
I don’t want my relationship with the Lord to be about “rules taught by men,” or about “should dos” when I go through a chapter in a book or other things that I might “do” because I feel compelled to if I am going to be “a godly woman.”
I want my heart to be so earnest for the Lord…I want to have godly passions so that “giving in” to my desires actually results in something that glorifies God for a change!
So…that is where I am today.
For your consideration:
How about you? Are your “feet” mechanically doing what God says to do? Or are your heart and mind in the process as well? Are you experiencing His touch so that you are willing and, like Harley “softened” to the idea? Or are you “braced,” resenting somewhat the intrusion on your life?
Let’s take time to ask the Lord to soften our spirits and minds so that when our feet follow His request, it is with a heart sold out in wild, loving, abandon and surrender! This is what he is after!
I have been putting off facing into this chapter, I think. I read the pages up to the place where the Mirror, Mirror Exercise begins. Funny how I did that…It is dated 4 days ago…haven’t touched the book since.
I realized last night as I thought about getting up and including the Mirror Mirror Exercise into my quiet time this morning that I was making excuses. This morning, I am heading out of town with my kids, my accountability partner and her kids to San Francisco. No time! I wanted to spend time in another study (or two) that I am doing…hmmm…Of course, as is typical, God faced me with the truth while I was in those other studies.
So I come to this blog to confess to you that I guess I have more “issues” to deal with than I thought. The thought of doing this exercise, while not as horrific to me as it used to be years ago, nevertheless causes anxiety.
I thought I would make “Part 1” about chapter 5 today about those other things in the chapter that I liked…and realized…I am just procrastinating. God is calling me to do this exercise.
Frankly…I don’t wanna.
So, I am stuck. I will give in to His will, but I know I won’t do it this morning…and I felt a sense of responsibility to tell you why.
I guess I still feel at some level betrayed by my body…But even writing that doesn’t resonate as truth. Maybe I don’t feel betrayed by my body so much as I feel betrayed by me. My behavior…my unwillingness to really lay down some strongholds…specifically this insistence that I get to have something sweet in my mouth all the time. :-/ It used to be diet cherry pepsi…and it is a battle now not to use diet drinks the same way. I am not, thankfully. I know that the battle isn’t so much about aspartame and the damage it can do, but it is a battle of my will…my taste buds being an idol in my life…my bowing down to them. And the damage that does!
While I haven’t been giving in to this temptation lately, I nevertheless feel like some of the weight I now have on my body IS related to giving in to my lust for sweet. Sweet apart from aspartame means sugar, means extra calories coming in when I am not hungry… :-/ That is the truth of things.
I have simplified things again and recommitted to drinking only water or carbonated water unless I am at a 0. I hadn’t realized just how much that boundary had eroded…and this will help, I know. Help not just with finding my natural God-given size, but, more, with conquering this stronghold.
Anyhow, when I look at my physical body like I am supposed to in Day 5 of the book and I know how much it has changed since the “after” picture was taken…I am faced with some truth…sure, I don’t need to be as thin as I was when I drank a lot of caffeine and aspartame…but some of the weight on my body, I believe, is there because I have continued to bow to sweet foods/flavors outside of God’s will for me. It is hard for me to accept about myself. That I am so weak. So rebellious and unwilling.
I know I have posted here about feeling ok about my body and all since then. I guess it is something I will struggle with on and off possibly my whole life long. All I know is that the thought of doing Day 5 in the Thin Within book has brought this to the surface and I am glad that I see the truth of it.
So tomorrow, I am carving out the time to do it in the morning…even setting my alarm to do it. I have an appointment with God in my bathroom…with the mirror. Gulp…
For your consideration (and mine): Consider going to iTunes and downloading Steven Curtis Chapman’s song, Fingerprints of God. (It is only 69 cents!) This is an amazing song with a lot of truth in it. When I lead TW classes going through the book, I make sure to include this song as part of our class time. Prayerfully ask God to show you if you believe the truth that this song speaks of. Let’s pray for one another today…to be fully reconciled with God and to our own bodies, laying down anything that hinders or entangles us.
Have you ever felt like roadkill? I don’t mean the kind where you can tell what kind of unfortunate animal stepped in the way of a speeding motorist, but the kind that has been on the road for days and that now is nothing but a flattened mass of gray fur barely discernible on the asphalt?
