–noun anything, as an act or event, that serves as a stimulus and initiates or precipitates a reaction or series of reactions.
Roy Rogers was a famous singing cowboy. He had a horse named Trigger. That is a different kind of trigger than the kind I am talking about today. 🙂
Yesterday I was out in the corral trimming Dodger’s, our mustang’s, feet. A few years ago, I wrote a piece about my son and Dodger that was published in the Chicken Soup for the Horse Lover’s Soul Volume 2. You can read an abbreviated version of their story at this link. If you want to see photos of Daniel and Dodger, you can find them here and a video may be found here. 🙂 Must brag about my two redheads. (The image to the right in this blog entry is not Daniel and Dodger, but is Roy and Trigger!) 🙂
Yesterday while I was trimming Dodger’s, feet something happened to trigger Dodger’s fear mechanism. POOF! What had been a calm, hanging-out-in-the-corral-for-a-horsie-pedicure time turned into something terrifying for my sweet Dodger. Something triggered a memory from his abusive past. He instantly went into FEAR overload.
All this in a manner of 2 seconds. One moment peaceful. The next moment terrified…Something flipped the switch. Presto change-o…
I wondered if it was the rasp in my hand (some farriers beat horses with those!) and I let it fall from my hand as I asked Dodger to bring his mind back into the here and now with me.
I knew that, while I had to allow Dodger to be worried, it was vital that I find a way to show him that he is safe with me—that whatever boogie that was front and center in his mind was a phantom and not going to hurt him in reality. I felt like it was important not to squelch Dodger’s need to express his concern. Doing that might merely stifle his need causing it to possibly resurface at another time in a way that is dangerous for horse and human. (I have seen this before and have been taught by knowledgeable horsemen to be aware of this possibility.)
Because I love him, because I want healing, I actually welcome the opportunity to help Dodger with a fear rooted in his past. When I am given an opportunity to show him that whatever demon has climbed on his back is not physically present now…it is a chance to solidify in his head that he is safe and cherished now. This is healing.
It has been a long time since I saw his past jump on him like this. There he was white-eyed and just sure *I* was going to beat him! His feet grew roots into the ground and he began to quake…an indication that the horse thinks he is going to die…they typically flee for their lives unless they think death is imminent.
He was very worried I was going to beat him, so I had to show Dodger that my hands will never be used to beat him. I did this by rushing at him with my hands up toward his face and neck. This worried him–a LOT–so as I got closer to him I then pet him until he softened and calmed. We repeated this until he understood (at least for now) that my intent is different from those people in his memory who hurt him.
This entire encounter may not have lasted longer than two or three minutes, but had I asked Dodger if he wished a memory like that would never surface again, I would be willing to bet that he would say that would be his preference.
As his “Mom,” though…as the one who loves him, even imperfectly, I am glad when I get a glimpse inside…when something surfaces and I can show him the truth about the present. Over the six years Dodger has been a member of our family, these kinds of “triggers” have occurred with less frequency. I believe this is a testimony that healing has taken place.
We work with the horse to help him and support him, showing him that he can “work the thing through” with the human. He finds that whatever BOOGIE it is, is in the past…it is now gone…and the human in his life NOW means no harm and is actually someone who will provide safety and relief.
I may not be the brightest Crayola in the box, so it was a few hours later when I realized what God had graciously done…Dodger was “broad-sided,” something “triggered” his reaction–a feeling that he would rather not feel. But I love him and am willing that he should experience the fears long enough for me to show him he is safe now…to be healed…
Sound familiar? Just a few hours prior to my trimming session with Dodger, I wrote here at the blog about a similar experience that God had allowed to happen to me during my bible study time in Esther. God, my loving perfect Heavenly Father, wants the things that are triggered to be allowed to surface…while I, emotionally, may wish it never to happen as it is so painful, he wants me to sit in the pain for a while and wait for HIM to show up…wait for him to show me that I am safe and cherished in this present moment. He may go a bit deeper with me than I can go with Dodger :-)…but nevertheless, he used this incident with Dodger to show me that his intentions are totally loving.
I love how God uses my horses this way…He used Dodger yesterday to love on me. Thank you, Lord…
I have just spent the last hour with the bible teacher, Beth Moore teaching (via video) on Esther 2:1-7. I downloaded the video segment for Session One from Lifeway. To be honest, I didn’t plan to do this study. I purchased the workbook in October when I was at the filming of Breaking Free. I have NO idea WHY I bought it. The subtitle, “It’s Tough Being a Woman,” seems incredibly CHEEZY to me. Bleah.
So why did I take it off the shelf on Monday and start doing it? I guess I didn’t want the workbook to go to waste. I hate having empty workbook blanks…and an entire workbook left empty is almost sacrilege to me. :-/
The time I have spent during my quiet times lately has been good…but studying books like The Search for Significance or Get Thin Stay Thin or Walking with God. These are great…God has been using them to transform my life, but I have missed STUDYING the scriptures. I have been reading and looking verses up, certainly, but I have missed FOCUSING attention on the Word.
I typically like to be involved in a good bible study…actually, more inductive is my preference…more so than any Beth Moore study I have ever done (and I have about done them all), but that is another story. Even now, I am getting side-tracked from what God prompted me to write at the blog about today…
So as I was watching the video session of a bible study that I didn’t really feel excited about doing after a week of filling in my blanks (and I guess being somewhat disconnected emotionally as I did), something was stirred–something BIG.
Something PAINful.
Something that I don’t want to address.
Something I would rather not look at.
It all came to the surface when Beth began to mention “beauty.”
Oh yuck…puhleeze. I am NOT like that, am I? Do I really care about being thought of as beautiful? I would just rather not care. I think I don’t care. I am pretty sure of it, in fact. Gimme my baseball hat, t-shirt, jeans, and hiking boots, thank you very much. No, I don’t care about “beauty” at all. So THERE. In your face…
So why did the tears start streaming down my face at Beth’s mention of it? :-/
Let’s blame sleep deprivation…yeah, that’s it.
It certainly isn’t hormones. This should be my one good week out of the month. 😉
So, I think I will just blame my extreme emotional reaction (near convulsing sobs…) on the fact that I got 4 hours of sleep. That would be safe and also rescue me from a sense that I have to deal with something deeper than the need for a nap.
hmm….
God isn’t letting me get off so easy. The Hound of Heaven is relentless…
Ok, so it is time to process something. Something that, apparently, was triggered by bible study. (Gah…I thought I was safe there…)
Why does the thought of “Do you think I am beautiful?” trigger something in ME. I mean, *I* am not into “girlie” things. I don’t do makeup…I cut my own hair once a year when it needs trimming…:-) I have only about 5 pairs of shoes in my closet: running shoes, hiking boots, two slip-ons (actually all-weather mocs from LL Bean)…and a friend’s sandals that I highjacked to wear on Easter…(On the back porch are my riding boots and mucking shoes for the pasture…) You get the drift. My finger nails are short because throwing hay, trimming horse feet and other things, cause my nails to be torn off…assuming they get long enough without me gnawing on them during an intense episode of an Andy Griffith Show rerun on DVD with my family. 😉
It began when Beth Moore said there are 5 kinds of women…the first wants everyone to think she is beautiful…that is a miserable woman, Beth said. I echoed a hearty “Amen!” to that one. (Ever-so-self-righteously…) The second type is the kind who just wants every MAN to think she is beautiful…that one is dangerous. “She sure is, Lord…they need to get a life and let you sanctify their need to be beautiful! Preach it sister!”
The third, Beth went on, is the one who doesn’t care if anyone thinks she is beautiful…that one hides…
Broad-sided…slapped upside the head with a two by four…The tears starting, welling up quickly in my eyes…and then by the time she mentioned something about her husband, Keith, thinking she is beautiful and longing for that, my tears were running…flowing…freely…but I don’t remember what the fourth and fifth are…I got lost…didn’t press pause in the video… Didn’t want to have the moment linger…
What kind of “bible study” is this???? I thought I was pretty emotionally safe…between taking a “scholarly” approach to the ancient book of Esther and maintaining that the subtitle was too “Cheezy” … well, I figured I could just study this book of the bible and stay safe from more of the processing and junk I have had to do lately. I was heading for the high ground, running for the hills. Who would have thought that God would cut me off at the pass…
7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
Psalm 139:7-12
I can’t hide from him…Like the “run away bunny” in the children’s classic story whose momma always became whatever the bunny was running TO to escape her…God wraps me in his arms…nuts. (What a strange reaction to the Lover of my soul…)
I have to deal with this.
More pain, more challenge.
I thought I would be able to run from it and just sit in the Word a bit…sort of massage myself with the comfort that I was studying God’s Word again…after all, isn’t that the godly thing to do instead of to keep studying books and focusing on ME so much…
I guess I forgot that the Word of God is living and active, sharper than any double edge SWORD…dividing soul and spirit…joints and marrow, judging the thoughts and intentions of the heart…
So, ok. I know I have to give in. I will be miserable if I don’t.
What is this wound, Lord? What is its root? What do you want to do with it? What must I do?
Instead of going to eat breakfast right now…I am hungry…have been for an hour…I am going to sit here in my physical need and know that it is just a mirror of my very deep emotional need. I will embrace the emptiness right now…I will wait on God right now.
I know this pain is related to all the “stuff” I have been struggling with–some of which I have posted about at the blog…This pain that surprised me is DEFINITELY related to the weight, the food, the heart stuff…the shame, the Sunday morning freak outs…
Lord…what do you want me to do, be, say, think, feel in this? You have made it clear you want me to face this. Please be my Healer, my Balm of Gilead…the Physician for my sickness.
Every now and then, God blesses me with a tiny reassurance–and sometimes, not so tiny–that He has done a mighty work…and continues to do a big work in me. This can often happen when I am beside myself with disappointment in myself…like what I have shared here in recent days…
I found an old journal when I was going through some stuff in our “storage room”…lots of them really. But one in particular God used to send his encouraging reassurance through my heart and soul.
I know that a picture paints a thousand words, so I have scanned the journal. This is from about 13 years ago…that season that my husband calls my “bulimic” period…when I would work out all the more to make up for calories I had ingested. I lived in FEAR! I am so thankful that I am not in this place any longer. I am definitely free. We still have to work out a bit what “freedom” will look like, but wow…God has really done a HUGE work.
If you want to see the image close up, please click on it. Then you will be able to read it, I think. It is pretty scribbly, though…and this is one of the neater pages!
This was from when I was doing “The Zone.” I counted grams of fat, grams of protein, grams of carbohydrate, included total calories and I even did ratios to be sure I had the “right” proportions of each with each meal…sometimes I didn’t…and this appears to be a page from a couple of days when I wasn’t quite on…LOL!
Thank you, Lord, that you have been at work changing me from the inside out. I know that you continue to do so. I cling to you. I refuse to give up. NO MATTER WHAT.
Mean Church Lady told me about 5 years ago that I was hiding the glory of God in my life by gaining weight. I hate to admit I was flattened by her assessment. No one really has the “right” to say that “God’s glory is hindered” by another person’s weight. Certainly the enemy’s voice straight from the pit of hell was given voice and skin that day. It has messed with my head ever since.
I am not the only one that Mean Church Lady has evaluated…Someone I know was told by Mean Church Lady that she needed to consider having a breast reduction surgery.
This same Mean Church Lady was sure to hand out all kinds of approving comments as I released the weight. How kind of her to let me know that I had her approval. :-/ A part of me thrilled to it…a sort of “in your face” to Mean Church Lady…but I never should have bought into that at all….it feeds all the yucky stuff in me.
So…well, can you see where this is going? Mean Church Lady is so willing to offer approval or not based on appearance…so what would Mean Church Lady say now? I figure it is a matter of time before she says something to me now. Each week she is there…and I am confident that each week her magnifying lens scrutinizes every aspect of my body… heavy sigh.
Ok…so why do I care? Mean Church Lady needs to take a flying leap! Why does God allow Mean Church Ladies, anyhow?
When I really step back and consider Mean Church Lady’s approach to life and to other people, my heart is stirred by compassion. Someone(s) very significant in Mean Church Lady’s existence, no doubt, emphasized performance and appearance…withheld their approval of her based on her appearance. It really is sad. Maybe she still feels that lack of acceptance. 🙁
Mean Church Lady may not have ever known the total joy and peace of resting in God’s embrace based completely on what Christ has done for her (which is something I have moments of…and hope to experience more and more…it is a process…).
Mean Church Lady may be under so much self-imposed pressure from her own sense that she needs to perform or achieve and look a certain way to be acceptable that evaluating others based on the same standards is just a natural extension of the junk she struggles with in her own life.
I turned to chapter 2 in The Search For Significance again this morning in preparation for meeting with my accountability partner tomorrow. It was balm for my soul, given Mean Church Lady was at church again yesterday (she rarely misses)…I see her each week from the platform as I play guitar and sing on the worship team. The Lord has been teaching me to focus on his presence during that hour at church each week. That I have an audience of ONE and that ONE has declared me 100% acceptable. He delights over me and receives my praise and worship no matter what my size or what I am going through. Like I said, it is a process. When you have focused on the approval of others all your life, shifting to receiving the truth of God’s limitless and unconditional love and acceptance isn’t “natural!” It is TRUTH, though!
Isn’t it amazing that we turn to others who have a perspective as limited and darkened as our own to discover our worth! Rather than relying on God’s steady, uplifting reassurance of who we are, we depend on others who base our worth on our ability to meet their standards. Because our performance and ability to please others so dominate our search for significance, we have difficulty recognizing the distinction between our real identity and the way we behave, a realization crucial to understanding our true worth. Our true value is based not on our behavior [or size] or the approval of others but on what God’s Word says is true of us. The Search for Signficiance – McGee – page 19
In an effort to maintain honesty, I guess I want to share the truth about where I am today. This is one of those really weird things. A blog is totally out there…I mean, no privacy. Anyone can see and read what I write here. Believe it or not, I prefer not to be that “out there.” But I also know that at times God has convicted me to be forthright and honest with whoever he may lead to read this blog. I can’t argue with him and his ways. I don’t understand how my “brain barfings” could possibly encourage another person at all…I am a complete stranger to most who visit this site, after all. But God is God and His ways are definitely higher than mine… so, onward I go.
Today I am not in a good place. In fact, it is downright NOT good. I am down for the count and trying for all I am worth to cling to the hem of his robe…I am down in the dust again, believing all kinds of voices from my past. The trick is…some of the voices speak truth…but the intent of those voices is condemnation. That isn’t truth.
Today I am in a place of shame. I am battling with feeling that I am caught, after all, in the same diet – lose – rejoice! – give up – gain – shame cycle that has characterized my life for years. I am struggling with feeling like I haven’t changed one bit…it just took longer this time to prove it… Now I am stuck here…
Being on the worship team is really hard for me right now. There are only four of us up there…and my weight loss was “on display” and now I feel like there are spotlights on my hips where bulges have re-emerged…and neon signs are flashing “FRAUD! FRAUD! FRAUD!” Obviously, I know that Sunday mornings aren’t about me. But my flesh rears it’s ugly head and screams “They notice! They see! They can tell I am sinning!”
It has always bothered me that “food sin” is one of the few sins that shows up so everyone can see like a badge of dishonor…cripes. My heart is that no one will care about anything but God, of course…but my flesh keeps hollering at me that I shouldn’t be up there…
In the past, as I have shared previously, I would have gotten off the worship team faster than you can say “Fatso.” I know this time that I don’t have that right…I keep hoping that the worship pastor will say to me… “When the moon is full…” So I can respond with our code phrase: “…the geese will fly…” Meaning, it is time for me to get off the worship team. But so far, he hasn’t said anything about the moon or about my getting off…and I know that God doesn’t want me hitting the door at a dead run as is my desire.
What is wrong with pantie lines? Why do women have to pretend we don’t wear underwear? I can’t figure that one out and when hips are splaying, already pushing at the seams of new pants recently purchased, underwear lines accentuate every indiscretion that shows up on my body as an additional bump or cellulite dimple–even under new Dockers. :-/
So here I am…an hour from worship team practice before church, wishing I could hide under a rock. Or…I have an idea! I can offer to help with the sound board! There is a shortage of people who will do that! What a GREAT idea! Hmmm…I have a feeling the worship pastor would want to know why my sudden change in heart…
How will I possibly lead the song “The More I Seek You” this morning? Well, it really does reflect my heart…I know it is true…
In March, I continued to journal (pen and paper journal…) my way through Get Thin Stay Thin by the Hallidays–formerly published as Silent Hunger and Thin Again.
This is what I wrote on March 23rd, 2009:
I think I’m only now beginning to “get” the imagery of the grave clothes used by the Hallidays in the Get Thin Stay Thin book. Over the course of my life, I’ve been wounded, hurt, mistreated, made mistakes…that is who I think I am deep inside. I have this sense that I can’t let this stuff come out so I keep it all tightly bound in grave clothes of denial, substance abuse (food), numbing out, getting angry or sad. The unwrapping of the grave clothes is the getting rid–ever so slowly–of the things that keep who I am hidden away, bound up, “under wraps.” It is being willing to welcome the stench of decay–opening up the deadness underneath, to be exposed to God’s healing air and light. It’s being willing to have respect for who I am and the experiences God has allowed in my life enough to stop muffling it all–to let it really surface and to bring it all to Him–allowing him to give me new life JUST AS I AM but with HIS redemption of it all.
It is daring to allow it to surface so that it can be healed in his way, in his time.
On another but related note, I jotted the following in my journal as well:
The question is NOT “What will gratify my desire immediately?” but is instead “What will satisfy my hunger for God and His righteousness?”
In March, I journaled my way through chapter 8 of Get Thin Stay Thin, formerly published as Thin Again and Silent Hunger. My accountability partner and I met together and discussed these pages as we did the rest of the book. There is just too much good stuff in that book, not to continue sharing the rest of it here at the blog!
Five Things to Consider When Making a Choice About What and When to Eat:
1.) Consider your motivation. Is it food that I really need? Or am I trying to satisfy a fleshly appetite while attempting to avoid dealing with some emotion or conflict?
“I can satisfy my silent hunger only by turning to God.” (Page 175)
2.) Notice the way I think. If I’m not hungry, I may be operating out of old habits and patterns. What unworkable beliefs or conditioned responses are in operation?
3.) Evaluate my daily lifestyle.
Perhaps your internal emotional state is so frenzied that you keep yourself in perpetual motion to avoid the Spirit prompting you to stillness. (GTST page 177)
This is incredible to me today…over a month after I wrote this quote in my journal. Just moments ago during my quiet time, this thought came to me from another source (by John Eldredge) and God whispered to my spirit that my busy-ness this week (which is way out of control–more than most weeks) is precisely this very thing…an attempt to outrun the call to be still and know that God is God…to wait on him. There is something he wants to address deep within me…why do I run?
4.) Be vigilant and pray.
You are in the process of taking every thought and choice captive to Christ. This involves attentiveness to your old ways of thinking and behaving. It involves a willingness to be honest with yourself and with God as you go to him in prayer… (GTST, page 177) When you invite God to enter your life and allow his will to intervene and govern your attitudes and choices, you will be blessed in all areas of your life–body, mind and spirit. (GTST, page 177)
5.) Continue to be filled with the Holy Spirit.
Having just spent time here at the computer, I think I will go be still with the Lord. The frenzied pace I have been keeping can’t be his will. I was convicted that my evaluation of how life is going is how little I have on my schedule that I dread. Good grief! That isn’t the abundant life! No wonder I feel unsettled in my spirit! Jesus came to give me HIS peace, HIS life, HIS joy!
LOL! Not a very clever title for a blog post…actually, the truth is, life is exciting! God has been up to some big things and I am thrilled about it!
I have been enjoying long leisurely quiet times in the early morning–part of the time I used to spend blogging. Now I am spending it with Him lingering a bit longer. I have needed this because spiritual warfare has definitely increased. I know God is up to some big things–in my life, but also in the life of my church body. He has laid on my heart to pray and encourage some folks and I think the enemy is stinking mad! This has resulted in less time online in the mornings, but it is a good thing.
So, if you are wondering if I have “thrown in the towel” or have “given up” … NO! Nothing could be further from the truth! In fact, I continue to rejoice that this is SO totally different than any time in my past when I have “lost” weight…and then “found” some again. THIS is DIFFERENT! I rejoice!
On a practical note, I have begun to really step up scrutinizing my eating between 0 and 5. There have been some adjustments made there.
The new experiment is yet ahead. I am praying about a few things relative to my health and wholeness:
1.) Exercise…what kind of exercise will be incorporated into my life? Does God want me to be routine about this? I have returned to riding my horses again and I typically do some walking when I go on a ride (my riding horses are in their 20s and we live in hilly terrain, so getting off for some of the hills is my gift to all of us!). I do tend to have some *fears* associated with an exercise routine and whether God wants me to have a regular exercise routine or not, I don’t know, but I DO know he wants me to deal with the fear. And I want my body, His temple, to be fit–no matter my size.
2.) Working with my Doc horse who has been for sale. I think God may be leading me to continue my healing journey by being intentional about working with Doc. God hasn’t opened the door for Doc to leave to live with another family permanently. So I think it could be his purpose with me isn’t finished. God uses my animals in my life to teach me so many things. When I work with Doc many of my “issues” surface and I tend to shut down–almost disassociate. This keeps me from being present to help Doc *or* me! I have assumed that I should find a new home for Doc so he can have a human who can give him what he needs, but perhaps the Lord wants to continue my healing by helping me get through this…so…we will see…Definitely praying about it.
3.) I am going through The Search for Significance again, but this time with my accountability partner. I am excited about this! (I still have notes from Get Thin Stay Thin that I want to post here at the blog, so I get ahead of myself, of course!). God continues to remove one layer of the onion after the other. It is amazing how much is here. I continue to prayerfully walk through this: Lord, please show me what strongholds other than you remain in my life…I want to tear them down by your power!
Related to all of the above is something I have to share about my Harley horse. Harley and I have had a tumultuous relationship. Like the others, I got him 6 years ago when I fell head over heals in love. My relationship with Harley is definitely different from the others. 🙂 Harley is like the horse I dreamed all my life of having…
Breezy is Old Reliable (the white horse to the right–did you know Jesus will ride a white horse one day? Breezy is convinced it will be him! LOL!). Breezy is my faithful steed to ride when I just want to go on a joy ride and see the wonders of God’s creation or visit with a friend.
Dodger (to the left) is my comedian–he is a character and I relate to him as I would a class clown that I adore. We don’t ride on the trails at this time. Maybe some day!
Doc (pictured in the first photo where I am riding him) is more of my “baby” horse…I’ve had to nurse-maid him for one thing or another all his life with me (6 years).
Harley (pictured down below), on the other hand, is like a mad, passionate love affair! 🙂 He makes the blood in my veins run hot and I adore him…I adore them all, but this is different. He is solicitous and interacts with me. We communicate with one another (no, I don’t mean in voices…but it is obvious we have many “discussions” when we are together!).
I also have the most depending on or “riding on” my relationship with him, having put SO much pressure on myself and on him to “succeed.” God is using him to show me that I have placed far too much importance on accomplishing things with Harley for my sense of value and significance. It seems so silly, really. But it is true!
So, lately, the principles from Get Thin Stay Thin and The Search for Significance have come home in my horsemanship! I realize that I am the same person when I end my horse time as I am when I begin it–that because of the love of God and Christ’s redemption I am a person of great worth, I am redeemed and precious in his sight, I am fully accepted and loved. It isn’t my horsemanship that determines my value (I know this is obvious) just as it isn’t my being at a certain weight and staying there that makes me have value or “success.” It is GOD ALONE who defines my worth and value….
This has been coming home in such a fresh way. And my times with Harley have been wonderful–I think partly because the self-imposed pressure is off! Harley is so sensitive to me and how I feel (I mean almost eerily so…) that I know he senses this change as well and is responding well to it.
Anyhow, I am HUMMING along…God is walking with me and I with him…and the fellowship is SWEET!
I hope to take some time daily to put my notes about the final chapters if Get Thin Stay Thin here at the blog. The stuff in that book has changed my life so much! (You should see what has happened to my accountability partner! MAN ALIVE!!!!!! GOD IS AWESOME!!!)
My husband’s voice emitted disdain and disapproval. I am just sure he wondered how I could be so careless as to allow “gunk” to find it’s way to the keys.
Confident that I could put him in his place, I lovingly replied: “Look again. It isn’t something ON the keys, those spots are where the finish on the keys is WORN.”
“You are kidding!”
I have only had this laptop since October–that is IF memory serves…and it doesn’t typically, so I can’t be too sure about how long I have had it and how quickly the keys have become worn on those three spots.
Here is a close-up shot of the keys that are worn. Go ahead and do some super sleuthing…What keys are most used on my laptop keyboard? 🙂
Look closely. There are three letters…and what words do these three letters spell?
(In case you can’t see the photos, the keys are E, A, and T which can spell “EAT” or “TEA” or “ATE” or…????)
I wonder if there is a message for me in this…
I know…God is telling me to EAT!
Hmmm…maybe not. Maybe he is telling me to start drinking TEA! (I hate anything that tastes bitter–even lettuce, let alone tea!)
Or maybe he is telling I already ATE, so quit already! 🙂
Or maybe he is telling me I blog and post at the TW forums FAR too often about EATing and ATEing! 😉
Roy Rogers was a famous singing cowboy. He had a horse named Trigger. That is a different kind of trigger than the kind I am talking about today. 🙂
As his “Mom,” though…as the one who loves him, even imperfectly, I am glad when I get a glimpse inside…when something surfaces and I can show him the truth about the present. Over the six years Dodger has been a member of our family, these kinds of “triggers” have occurred with less frequency. I believe this is a testimony that healing has taken place.
