I have spent some time with the Lord looking at the questions I have posed here at the blog for anyone who wants to participate. Gosh, these are hard questions! 🙂
I asked the Lord to show me my heart… “What is it I want, Lord?” I know that he knows my heart better than I do. I waited for him to open my eyes to see what is there. “FREEDOM” is the word that first jumped to the surface…but that almost seems self-generated. True, yes, but I am not sure it is at the heart of what I want…or of what he wants for me as I go through this book…again. I want to release my grip on ANY stronghold–sweet foods, sweet drinks, horse time to be sane, internet time–ANYthing that controls me in ANY way at all…except, of course, for HIM.
I guess I hope to be even MORE “incidental” about food or drink. I want NOT to be owned by my taste buds or an “I deserve this” mentality…EVER. I want true humility…not pride that says, “I deserve this.”
In fact, I think what I really want is to be GOD focused. When I look at any of the things in my life that cause me pain or struggle–sin or strongholds–the root is I believe a lie that serving self is more rewarding than focusing on and serving God. I want to leave that mentality behind. If I could allow the Lord to flood my vision, I would stop grasping for recognition, “respect,” honor, food that isn’t needed, sweet beverages, etc…I would take a posture of humility before the Lord.
A big work that God is currently doing is bringing me to a point of being ok in my own skin, no matter what size the body it covers. 🙂 That is not to say that I will allow my appetites and fleshly lusts to direct me into the sin of overeating. No..not at all. But it means that–without a bathroom scale to “tell” me whether I am acceptable or not–I am ok about the size that I am…To quote Yoda again (we don’t even watch Star Wars!) “Size matters not.” It really doesn’t matter. What matters is WHY I am the size I am. Am I the size I am because my heart belongs to God? Or am I the size I am because I lust for food and indulge those lusts? It is funny…when I ask these questions the size part seems so…almost silly. This isn’t about me at all. It is about the fact that he bought me at such a high price. The precious blood of Jesus Christ. I am his…*am* I? Do I LIVE like I am?
Relative to my physical body, I do want to develop a godly approach to fitness because this body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. I hope to learn what 0 to 5 exercising is. I have been sedentary before. I have been an obsessive exerciser before. Neither honors God. So I want to move my body with joy and without fixating on me. Somehow, moving my body is another expression of the fact that I belong to him. I want to do the best I can to honor God with my physical body without sacrificing my heart. This will be a challenge for me, but I sense God calling me to it. This will be a new thing.
So, what am I willing to do, say, give, be in order to experience these things?
This is one of those things that my horse is teaching me. As I ask the Lord what the answer to this question is, he says lovingly, simply, “Release it all to me…” or “Trust me.”
A few years ago, I was not doing well with two of my horses. It seemed like every time I got on one of them I was having an accident of some kind. (I know now that I could have avoided this if I had gotten them to a better place where they felt good inside about things…but i didn’t know that at the time.) After Harley went to training with a great trainer who worked with me as well, it was time for me to ride him. He was sided up next to the side of the round pen fence rail. I climbed up on the fence rail…took some deep breaths. My trainer held on to Harley’s halter. It was my job to sit myself on him…totally. I settled my bum in the saddle carefully, nestled my feet “just so” in the stirrups…and tried to remember to breathe some more. My trainer looked at me with a big grin and asked me if I was going to let go of the fence rail. I didn’t even realize that I had a death grip on it. Something inside of me couldn’t trust myself completely to Harley’s care…I was afraid of what would happen.
While God is so much more reliable than a horse who has fear issues with a rider with fear issues, I do feel in some ways like he isn’t “predictable.” In some ways, trusting the Lord ends up being like trusting Harley…thus, God uses my horses to teach me so much. He is so much more reliable, loving and trustworthy…Right now, I know there is a lot I have to trust to the Lord. This leg of my journey will be “notching things up” a bit. I need to “let go of the fence rail” and trust all that I am to the Lord to carry me…wherever he sees fit in the manner he sees fit. Yikes!
I guess these sort of describe my “point of departure” and what I hope for along this journey as well.
5 Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.
6 As they pass through the Valley of Baca, they make it a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
7 They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion.
Psalm 84:5-7
I asked anyone who wants to join us to consider journalling answers to the questions in this post and also, if you are new to this blog and want to participate, you can answer yesterday’s questions found here…take them to the Lord and wait on Him for the answers.
Whatever your level of participation…please don’t use this as a standard for your performance and approval by God! If you don’t come to the blog each day, that is ok. If you journal some or all of the questions or none of them…that is ok. Let your experience be driven by God and know that He loves you perfectly. You please him–right now. If you are in Christ, God has not only forgiven you, but attributed all of Christ’s righteousness to you!!! You are 100% acceptable to him whether you “do it all” or just do a “drive by” every so often.
I just want to challenge you to go with God’s intentions for you most of all. There will be no demerits for “not doing everything just so” and also no gold stars for doing it all “perfectly.” 🙂 Just be with the Lord in this. Experience his presence–he delights over you with singing! Listen for his voice! Wait for him. Don’t let this study be another way to silence the voice of your heart…we do that with bible studies as readily as we do it with food… let us allow this to be an authentic journey where we bring to him our heart cries and expect HIM to answer!
One thing that I read yesterday morning challenged me…how often to I forsake the good because I refuse to allow myself to let go and do something that isn’t *”perfect?”* For instance, if I want to write a book and get started on it…but it isn’t “perfect” enough so I shelve it…who is to say that God’s “good” isn’t being done because of my insistence for perfection? The same can happen to us as we start (or REstart) this journey. I refuse to let my performance (or what *I* think is my performance) dictate my sense of worth or success. I hope you will join me in this refusal!
On to the pre-study study… 🙂 Do if you choose. 🙂
1. Re-read verse 6 above from Psalm 84. The “Valley of Baca” may be literally translated “valley of weeping.” What does this valley of weeping become when our strength is found in the Lord? What significance do you find in the valley of weeping being transformed into a place of “springs” or “pools” (which, by the way, can also be translated “blessings!”)??
2. Read Isaiah 41:18-20 in your bible. Note the result of pools in the wasteland or springs in the desert. How might this apply to your life as you sojourn toward that which God has for you?
3. According to Isaiah 41:20, for what purpose will God accomplish this?
Back to Psalm 84 written above…
Fill in these blanks: “They go from ________________ to _______________.”
For your consideration: This word for “strength” found twice in verse 7 doesn’t mean the same thing as “strength” in verse 5. It refers to the Hebrew word, chayil, which means “strength, efficiency, wealth.” As we travel on this path, there may be a valley of weeping, but from those tears will come fertile pools and springs giving life to our parched hearts. Our Lord will take our tears and cause us to go from “wealth to wealth” or “riches to riches.” We may experience weeping, but on this pilgrimage we can also experience much abundance and joy. We will find ourselves that much closer to arriving before our God in Zion–the place of promise!
Again, I want to reiterate…don’t get hung up on whether you do this thing perfectly. That was what kept me from hanging in there for so long. I finally let go of that standard and God met me! Think of it this way…if you have been a mom or an aunt or a best friend of someone with a baby…when that baby begins to try to walk, do you turn your back if the steps are faltering? If s/he can’t take off right away? Absolutely not! You delight in seeing any efforts taken…one step, clinging to a couch…flopping down onto his/her bottom and you giggle with glee! I think God is like that as we earnestly strive to grow, change, and take babysteps forward. He knows we don’t have the ability to take off running right away…but our hearts are turned toward the TRY. He loves our try. Yoda of Star Wars infamy may have said “Do or not do, there is no TRY” but that is NOT OUR GOD. Our God rewards the try and delights in our hearts turning to Him.
Allow yourself to learn and grow. You will NEVER pass THIS way again…God WILL grow you, even if you feel like, at the end of the summer, you still aren’t running like you think you “should” be. If you ask your Master, he will smile and say, “Ah, but she is trying to walk…and her heart delights me…”
Feel free to respond here at the blog to these ideas and the questions above. I am thrilled to have you join me. Tomorrow I will likely post my own responses to the questions I have posted here the past three days…
I am SO excited! GOD IS AT WORK! Do you sense it? 😀
NOTE: Some of the material that I have used for the pre-study study entries here at the blog come from a Thin Within study that is available from the Thin Within company. It is something that I helped to write years ago and doesn’t get much use, so thought I would bring in some of the material from that…I hope you enjoy it. I may use some of that material along the way. If you want the study, it is available from Thin Within…their toll free number…just ask for the printed copy of the Thin Within book study guide. It isn’t bound, but is printed and available for $3, I believe. The toll free number is 877-729-8932.
If you are joining us for our journey through the Thin Within book, you may want to get a journal so you can respond to the Lord and all he shows you. It is a wonderful way to chronicle your journey. I use a spiral bound notebook and pen to write down my prayers, thoughts, bible verses or things that strike me as I go through the book. You may want to do the same.
Of course, you can also use a blog to do basically the same thing–though my journal has thoughts that are private in it…obviously, an online blog is visible to the world.
Regardless of the tools you choose to take with you for our trek, there is adventure ahead. I really believe this with all my heart.
The psalmist anticipates the same!
5 Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.
6 As they pass through the Valley of Baca, they make it a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
7 They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion.
Psalm 84:5-7
As the Lord leads you in the time between now and Monday, June 1st (or whenever you will be starting your study of the Thin Within book), take some time to prayerfully journal your responses to the questions I have posed here .
Additionally, let’s focus a bit on a couple of the verses mentioned above. Please respond to the following:
1. A “pilgrimage” implies a place of departure and a chosen destination (with lots of things to experience in between!). Ask God to show you a truthful description of where you currently find yourself…that place from which you wish to depart…what you want to leave behind you. (Please do NOT use this to bash yourself. If it would help, ask God to phrase it as if it were HIS words to you!…a love letter to you challenging you about the “land” you will leave behind…what it represents, what is there…) You can use the comments section here to answer, if you like, but I do encourage you to have a record of your thoughts in your personal possession–not just here at this blog site lost over time as tiny little bytes on the World Wide Web!
2. According to the passage above, what does God’s Word say about the person who sets their heart on moving forward with Him?
For your consideration: The word “blessed” is a word that can actually mean “enjoying spiritual happiness and favor of God.” God desires for us to have a happiness that bubbles up from deep within us! If we focus on the Lord and HIS strength, rather than our own strength or failures, we will experience this joy and happiness that is captured in the word “blessed!”
3. Respond to these thoughts.
4. Don’t miss it…where will we find our strength? How does this differ from your past experiences?
For your consideration: In Psalm 84:5-7, the word “strength” appears three times. The first time it is used to refer to strength that is found in the Lord. This is the Hebrew word “oz,” meaning “strength, might, fortress, stronghold.” We will hide ourselves in the Lord for protection, refreshment and nourishment. We will shed other strongholds in favor of Him! He is our strength!
More on this passage tomorrow…we haven’t yet begun our study, but I do want to lay some adequate groundwork for any who may be “chomping at the bit” to get started! I will be journaling right along with you. Again, feel free to respond here at the blog if you like–best in a condensed version of whatever you are journaling about or talking to God about in your time with him.
Whether you have stumbled upon this blog for the first time right now or have been a regular visitor, whether you are going to plunge into our summer study of the Thin Within book starting June 1st or won’t…what is it you want? What is it I want? What do you hope to get from studying the bible, walking with God, reading Thin Within, visiting this blog?
I am asking myself…why will I read/study the book, Thin Within, again? What am I hoping for? What do I want this time?
Maybe more importantly, what am I willing to do, say, give, be in order to experience it? Is there a goal I have? What do I think is really holding me back from realizing it?
One thing I know…my answers won’t be just about food, my body or weight…”Skinniness” is NOT next to “godliness!” I want to be totally free from judging myself or others from external appearances.
Another question I have for myself and for you before we launch our study (and I do hope you will answer these questions) is…what if I sense I have “failed” within say the first two weeks of our study? Am I willing to withhold judgment and to press on anyhow? Am I willing to consider my commitment to this process a more noble goal than other goals I might choose? The Christian life is nothing if not a process. That is what sanctification is all about…progressively becoming more and more Christ like!
I don’t want to buy in to Satan’s lie that if I don’t perform thus and so, then I am a failure, so I may as well quit. NO WAY. I urge you to be aware of this temptation before we ever get started. Commit this summer to being willing to learn whatever God shows you in whatever way he chooses to show you and I will do the same. Maybe you will release weight, maybe you won’t.
But will we–will you–choose to believe God that the process is worth it?
Have you ever been naturally good at a sport, like tennis or golf and never been taught at all by anyone professionally? Then you go to take your first lesson so you can improve and the professional tells you that s/he will have to start you from scratch…in effect rebuild your stroke from the ground up? In order to get better, you will have to get worse first? This isn’t uncommon. Sometimes we have to get to a place where things look worse before they look better. As God shows us the many ways we cling to things other than Him (including food), we may find ourselves clinging all the more…But hang in there with the process. Trust him that HE IS DOING a new thing–even if the process looks ugly for a bit. We may have to look worse…maybe even feel like we are losing a few rounds first–before it gets better.
Feel free to comment on these thoughts in the comments section. This blog is for you all! 🙂
What DO you want? What ARE you willing to do to get it? How willing are you to experience a process that looks very different from what you expect…? Even if it is ugly? 🙂
On June 1st, I plan to start a study of the Thin Within book (2003 or later edition). I have gone through it a bunch…so it is sometimes hard to imagine that God may yet have something “new” there for me. I know that it is arrogance that says I “know” it all. LOL!
Here is an invitation…a video invitation for you… 😀 Scary thought, but I may do this throughout our study of the book.
So, I ask any/all of you…if you would like to go through the Thin Within book with me here at the blog, feel free to grab a copy by June 1st. Even if you get your own copy a bit later than the 1st, I won’t go through it in 30 days–it will probably take me all summer. You can call Thin Within directly at 877-729-8932 and they will send it right out to you. I think it is $12. You may be able to get it cheaper on Amazon, but the shipping is likely to take longer.
So, that said, if any of you would like, feel free to join me. You can use the “comments” section of the blog to post your thoughts and ideas, questions, comments, praises, concerns, prayer requests and prayers.
And if you come to this blog entry months after it has been posted, you can still participate. When someone makes a comment to the blog–even an entry I posted months before–I get sent a notification about it. I will gladly respond. Don’t feel left out!
God has something new He IS DOING in YOU (and in me!)–even now!
To those of you reading and following in real time, will you do me a favor and pray that God will make the new thing he is doing in each of us obvious? That we may have eyes to perceive it? He says it springs up! I am eager for the adventure he has ahead.
Join me! 🙂
If you plan to do so, feel free to comment here. I would LOVE to know who will be participating! I may add little “video” thoughts as we go…just for fun. 🙂
Here is my (personal) biggest challenge on a superficial (yet deep at the same time…) level…to make my way through this material WITHOUT using a bathroom scale at all! I believe the Lord would have that for me! I also want to have an open heart. Since God involved me in the writing of the Thin Within book (what an amazing display of his grace AND his sense of humor), it can be really easy for me to be “jaded” if I am not wary. So if you will pray for me about this…I would welcome it. I know that I have NOT “arrived.” Until my feet are lifted from the dust of this earth and planted on Heavenly streets of gold, I know that I will continue to be formed, shaped, refined and CONVICTED, changed, corrected, rebuked by our gentle Shepherd. I welcome that now. I need that.
Anyhow, I will pray for you. Please pray for me and plan to get your own copy of the Thin Within book (2003 or later edition) by Arthur and Judy Halliday so you can write in it as you go.
My friend, Bob, made this video after I requested it. It just seems to capture what is going on in my life. I celebrate! (And no…the preview photo isn’t me! LOL!)
