Minimizing the moments that we have made good choices and maximizing the moments where we have made poor ones…can you relate? If you are anything like me, you can be chugging along all day, praising God, walking closely with him…then a weak moment hits and POOF! You make a poor choice and conclude, “I blew this day! I may as well forget this stupid stuff…” Or something like that. Maybe that is only me. 🙂
So, in this video, I share something that God has used to help me to see the value of the moment. I hope it encourages you. I am sorry it is so long (about 5 minutes, I think). I will try to make sure the next one is not longer than two minutes.
Praying for you all today! Please pray for me! Being this tired, I find my defenses are down.
If I were to consider “failure” in my life, I think I would be tempted to think most quickly about my horse “misadventures.” Having dreamed of having horses all my life, at the ripe-old-age of 40, my family and I moved to the country and bought FOUR at once. The dream was that we would hit the trails together! Simple dream–or so we thought. We had been given the resources to acquire them (we have since found out that the cheapest thing about horses is the initial purchase…the rest is…well, that is fodder for another post…), so it certainly seemed like a simple thing. Four people, four horses and we would have years as a family in the Great Wide Open enjoying one another, nature and our trusty steeds.
We happened to get four horses with “special needs.” We did everything wrong that could be done wrong in buying our four. One was a young, green 4 year old with 35 year old joints. One was a rip-snorting-fire breathing behemoth when out on the trail. One was formerly abused with rearing and bolting being his first line of defense if he thought he would be eaten…which was all the time. And one was Breezy. Well, Breezy was the first we acquired and had they all been like him, we would have been fine. Nevertheless, even Breezy was possibly older than featured.
So never, never, never have we had more than two of them on the trail at once.
It would be very easy to allow this failure to define me. We get jokes all the time about “Don’t you ride them?” Well…yes…but I am the only one who can ride all of them…and I don’t go for “Roman Riding” so they aren’t all ridden at once. Breezy can be ridden by any member in our family so…well…I can go out with one other member of my family at a time. (Below is a photo of what I mean by “Roman Riding.”)
After all this time, you would think we would have progressed some. Others say “Why don’t you get rid of them and get horses that work for your family?”
The thing is, I believe God has been redeeming this situation. I see it so clearly with the horse thing. I wonder why I don’t see it with other things?
God has used my horses to teach me about shaking loose from my past and not allowing it to define me. He has shown me about rewarding the try when my son was a pre-adolescent with hormones beginning to rage. He has shown me lessons about loyalty and even taught me things through the fungus in my horses’ feet! God has taught me about how mechanical I can be in my relationship with him when he wants my *heart* just like I want the heart of my horses–not just their feet to go a certain direction.
I can go out to their pasture (they live here) and sit with them, smell them, talk with them, brush them…all kinds of joy is there…joy that I dreamed of all my life. And, of course, riding them is amazing. I have seen places that I wouldn’t have been likely to see. And while my dream of having our family do these things together hasn’t yet been realized, I still don’t feel prone to call myself a “failure” because of this (although, I do have days when I am closer to it than others). God has obviously taken all these things and used them for a greater good to form and shape my character and I think the character of my family members, too. Yes, I still hope that one day my kids, hubby and I will experience fun together astride our own four horses (though it isn’t likely it will be THESE four horses), but I am not sure I would trade what we have experienced in our “failure” for a superficial “success” riding on the trails together each weekend.
Something deeper has been at work. Something eternal.
2 Corinthians 4: 17-18, which I have probably quoted recently says:
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
In our “failures,” God is at work doing that which we may not even really even begin to fathom. He has shown me this with my horses. (And in other ways, too…)
So does it make sense to take on the identity of “Failure” when I struggle along with things? When I start my day with great intentions, commit to 0 to 5 eating, and by the end of the day discover I have “botched” it up…even so, I am not a failure! I am a saint, called by God, who sometimes fails. There is a HUGE difference as chapter 10 in Thin Within so clearly says.
If we see our “failures” through God’s lens, we are much less likely to excuse our behavior or beat ourselves up over them. Through His eyes, perceived failures become opportunities. He sees our need and, in His grace, responds by coming alongside us to meet that need. Thin Within, page 95
Today, if you catch yourself in the midst of a “failure,” rather than allow it to define you, ask God how HE sees you. He has declared you perfectly acceptable in Christ. If you belong to Him, he has attributed all of Christ’s righteousness to you. He sees you as holy and beloved. Eating too much ice cream or hopping on the scale obsessively doesn’t change that at all.
Our performance is never the basis of His love for us. Thin Within, page 99
Do you believe that he accepts you 100% just as you are right now? Surely, if what Romans 5:8 says–that even while we were yet sinners–God chose to demonstrate his love for us by having Jesus die for us, we can KNOW that right now, even mid-way through the bag of Oreo cookies, he loves us as well. We can capture THIS moment for the Lord. Stop what we are doing. And rest in his embrace right now. EVEN now. He stands with his arms open wide, not condemning us in our current behavior, but calling us to reach out to him to fill our hearts full with his presence. He doesn’t define us by our performance. Christ’s performance on the cross is how God defines us now. Attributing even Christ’s righteousness to us. Let’s BELIEVE GOD!
If you have been joining us for our study of the Thin Within book by Arthur and Judy Halliday, this week’s tentative assignment is to read through Days (chapters) 10, 11, and 12.
At this point (or on day 11), there is a slight shift. There are three phases of Thin Within. If you want to know more about that, you can view (or really listen to) the video below…I made it some time ago and it is LONG…and the video quality is HORRIBLE!
During the first 10 chapters or days of the Thin Within material, the “first phase” is sort of what is the framework of the material. In days or chapters 11-20, “phase two” takes us out of just enjoying our new-found freedom to eat whatever we want between godly parameters into using godly discernment. You will see what I mean as we continue on. Freedom is wonderful and we don’t leave that behind, but we begin to see that freedom brings with it a wonderful privilege of responsibility. If we want to feel our best so that we can operate the way God intends in this life, we want to begin to pay attention to, and heed, other signals that our bodies give us regarding foods and beverages. Again, there are no “diet rules,” as that would be counterproductive. Instead, we are now free NOT to have to eat something sweet each time we are hungry (for instance). We begin to develop a sense that there is more to this than “Yippee! No more diet foods!”
This isn’t just about the physical either. Please don’t think we change the focus now on to our bodies. We will need the Lord’s guidance more than ever.
In days or chapters 21-30, “phase three” is established.
Let me get this out there though…just because the book may teach “phases,” doesn’t mean we all live in phases nicely and neatly, going from phase 1, to phase 2 in 10 days (or 4 weeks) and onward into the “mastery” phase. Nothing could be further from the truth!
In my long term experience with this material :-), I have found that I go in and out of these phases…and, truthfully, “mastery” (phase three) is something I may experience for only minutes at a time so far. I know that dwelling there is yet ahead for me.
So, that said, please just enjoy knowing that there is much yet ahead!
In chapter 10 you will be encouraged that when you fail, it doesn’t mean you *are* a failure. What we DO doesn’t define who we are. God is the only one who that theory applies to. He calls himself “I AM” in scripture because what he does is a perfect reflection of his character! I love chapter 10 and find it tremendously encouraging! I hope you do, too.
Chapter 11 and 12 will continue to lay vital foundation for us in this journey.
Please continue to add to your list about God’s attributes and the way he interacts with you, His child. Take time to praise and thank God for 5 of these each day (or more if you want!).
I think my struggles lately have been accentuated because I haven’t been taking the time to do this. Truly, I have found when I make praise and gratitude a way of life, it changes everything for me. I have to start practicing what I am preaching!
Vacation Bible School is happening this week at my school and my kids and I are working at it (my kids are teenagers). I have NO idea if I will actually get through all three chapters or not this week, but that is my goal!
Have you ever felt like roadkill? I don’t mean the kind where you can tell what kind of unfortunate animal stepped in the way of a speeding motorist, but the kind that has been on the road for days and that now is nothing but a flattened mass of gray fur barely discernible on the asphalt?
That is me this morning.
Yesterday was, perhaps, the roughest day I have had in forever. And today has begun with a continuation of yesterday’s drama because I can’t seem to let go. Replaying conversations again and again between myself and someone I care about…it is just serving to make me miserable.
Sadly, today is my daughter’s 15th birthday. I really must get over myself and not ruin her day. I can’t even give myself the luxury of processing the situation that has put me in this frame of mind.
Today, nothing is left, no one is home. I am spent. I am left scratching my mangled head (and heart) about why God seemed to have led me to do something if it was going to result in such overwhelming sadness for me and for another. Why did I feel *confidently* that he wanted me to leap into oncoming traffic if I was only going to be taken out? I thought (arrogantly, perhaps) that he was using me to run a rescue of sorts. Even as I type this, I feel a sense of “Woe is me…I am such a victim!” Good grief.
This morning, God met me in my grief. I could barely lift my eyes to look toward him. But HIS beauty is what this is about…HIS face, HIS life in me, HIS will, HIS love, HIS plan…and I must do faithfully that to which He calls and, as one wise friend recently stated, leave the response of anyone else to Him. I can grieve that she felt more led to roll over the top of me than to stop and pause and ask God what His plan in this experience was. But now it is time to peel myself off the pavement…or allow God to lift my eyes Heavenward.
What, after all, have I been crowing about here on the blog for the past few weeks?
As I opened my book to chapter 9, I was amazed yet again by God’s timing…that today, of all days, I would read these words–words I have read so many times before. Living a charmed life has some drawbacks. When I have an experience like yesterday, I feel totally unprepared, out of my element, absolutely uncertain what to do and how to move forward. So, in my previous readings of this chapter, it is fair to say, I have never been in quite the place that I was this morning.
I highlighted almost all of page 87, in fact. I want to share the words written there. I feel like the fact that God brought these words to my eyes and heart this morning shows his incredibly loving, sovereign, omniscient character:
…our current suffering isn’t the only truth upon which to focus. It isn’t even the primary truth. What our sovereign God has purposed in Heaven is more real than what we can see. “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).
We can rest assured that no suffering is wasted when it is placed in God’s hands. No single heart aches that His doesn’t ache all the more. The Scriptures teach that the Lord has a record of all our tears (Psalm 56:8). We know that Jesus wept with Mary and Martha….We know that one day our Lord will wipe away every tear from our eyes (Revelation 7:17).
God uses each and every tear we have shed and every pain we have experienced to form and mold our character, to strengthen us, and to draw us closer to His heart. He wants us to experience His strength and sufficiency. He uses our affliction to cause us to see our need for Him and our struggles with food, eating, and our bodies to send us to Him, to look for His solution. In our weakness, He is made strong. He uses even this personal battle you are experiencing and He will redeem it for His glory. (Thin Within, pages 87-88)
As you might well imagine, reading this and the following pages, encouraged my heart so very much. I felt like God was personally in the midst of my trial–He is!
I must admit, however, that in my tiredness and being overwhelmed emotionally, yesterday, I reverted to old coping mechanisms. Perhaps not to the extreme that I did in the past, but my heart was hardened and I wanted to no longer feel pain…to numb myself. I ate outside of godly parameters and drank Wild Cherry Diet Pepsi outside of godly parameters as well. :-/ I ignored the call of my Savior in these things.
Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him! -Isaiah 30:18 (NIV)
The NASB renders this verse “He waits on High to have compassion on you…”
Why do I keep him waiting to show me compassion?
This morning Jesus no longer had to wait. 🙂 He met me in the quietness of my private time with him. What a gentle, loving, kind Shepherd.
At the bottom of page 89, I am asked directly, “Are you currently in the midst of a challenge or trial?” Well, yes…I am. Then, the book admonishes “Ask the Lord to reveal His purposes for allowing this trial…” Ok…so I wait. If nothing else, I am reminded yet again of how desperately needy I am for HIM. Apart from Him, I am lost.
I have been struck by some thoughts about the incident at the Mount of Olives…when Jesus is with his disciples and a contingent of soldiers and, apparently, some others, comes for Jesus. Judas hands Jesus over. A number of Jesus’ followers are, apparently, carrying swords.
I have been thinking about Peter’s act–his intentions, his motivation, and his misguided notion that a sword was the answer to the problem…and the video below offers some of my thoughts on the subject.
I was reminded in my quick overview of chapter 8 in Thin Within this morning, that this is so like our situation…we have been given weapons with which to fight. But they aren’t the weapons that make “worldly sense.”
What makes sense…the quick fixes of focusing on the food, bathroom scales and so on…these things don’t really solve the deeper issue and can, in fact, make things so much worse. Just as they did for Peter:
For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.2 Corinthians 10:3-5
The weapons we are called to fight with are not the weapons of this world! They won’t be those of worldly wisdom and what “science” seems to offer! Our weapons have DIVINE power to DEMOLISH strongholds!
Which would you rather, my friend? Hack off an ear? Or DEMOLISH strongholds in your life? 🙂
I know my answer.
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. – 2 Corinthians 4:18
