I woke up this morning…first thing on my mind was the fact that today is our pastor’s last Sunday. God has called him to leave.
As sadness and regret began to well up within me, I found God challenging me immediately to choose joy. To me, this means, praising and thanking God for His blessings and His character. I wrote about that here this morning.
When I showed up for worship team practice at 8:30 this morning and Pastor Tony(the pastor of worship and youth ministries) asked me how I was doing, I smiled genuinely and said “I am choosing joy!” He asked me to explain…Rationally, I figure if the scriptures say “Rejoice in the Lord always, again I say rejoice!” (Philippians 4:4), or “Count it all joy when you encounter various trials” (James 1:2), or “Be joyful always” (1 Thessalonians 5:16), then I must have some sway over my own ability to be joyful. If that is the case, then HOW do I choose joy?
I believe gratitude is the path to joy. Setting aside my choice to grumble or complain…and choosing instead to praise him and thank him…well, it does something to my soul. Deep inside something changes.
For over a year, I have kept a gratitude blog. Well, that isn’t accurate. I haven’t “kept” it up to date at all! I can’t help but wonder if this doesn’t reflect a heart that hasn’t been practicing gratitude. If I haven’t been practicing gratitude, I dare say, I have likely been practicing something else…like griping and complaining…or elevating MY will, MY desires, MY problems above everything else. I really wonder what I have been magnifying! Whatever I magnify is what will fill my vision. If I magnify God, HE fills my vision. If I magnify something else…well, that is what will fill my vision and seem SO huge.
Today, this has been proven. I have been filled with joy as I have practiced gratitude. My husband may have left to go out of town, my pastor may be leaving, my presentation of special music at church less than what I had hoped it would be vocally :-), but I have joy. I praise him! I give thanks for a voice that can sing at all, for a job for my husband that provides for us, for Pastor Mike having 11 years at Cool Community Church!
In the past, I have found that when I practice forgiveness and gratitude, so much of what drives me to ungodly choices–including eating outside of 0 and 5–disappears.
I think these are the basics I need to return to. Again. 🙂 Truly, gratitude is the path to joy. When I am joyful in the Lord, I don’t look to other things to make me happy. It really works.
Day 16 in the Thin Within book by Arthur and Judy Halliday provides opportunity to review the godly goals that were set on Day 3. As I look at how diligently I am pursuing these godly goals–the goals that I am convinced that God led me to establish at the beginning of our study–I am convicted that I am not giving the Lord my best. Not even my second best.
I am tempted to beat myself up over this. But the book reminds me that I can just observe and correct. Adjust things. Make changes:
No self-condemnation or wagging of fingers. No demerits. You can experience forgiveness, freedom, correction, and grace every step of the way. Thin Within, page 161
So here is where I want to call us on our tendency. If you are anything like me, if you are half way through a book or a program and haven’t even begun to realize your goals, it is a HUGE temptation to just scrap the entire thing–to quit, to bail.
“Forget it! I am failing, so why bother trying? I could never accomplish my goals by the end of the book/program/whatever now!”
“This is a waste to keep going!”
Is this godly thinking, though?
No. God IS at work. He IS completing that which He has begun. Physical results aside, he is tilling the soil of our hearts, planting new teaching, reminding us of things that we have known before and so on.
To quit because we haven’t started to make physical progress is to cave in to a dieting mentality.
Let’s remember that God isn’t about our body…he is about something deeper that, when surrendered, will translate into changes in our physical bodies. But for now, perseverance at this important time WILL make a difference! It is part of that marble jar again. The jar fills up with each moment that we return to Him with an “I blew it tonight, Lord, but I offer myself to you afresh. Please take me…make me yours…” He receives that with applause and marbles tossed with joy into the jar!
Remember that His grace was never intended to be merely a pardon for past, present, and future sins. His grace is also a provision for your daily, moment-by-moment needs. Invite Him to infuse your life, enabling you to have insight, wisdom, discernment, and power to live according to His best for you. Thin Within, page 162
The Significant Times Exercise on pages 164-166 may seem extreme. I urge you to prayerfully go through this if you haven’t already. Even though I have done this exercise so many times, God was faithful to give me a new insight, even today. Every one of my four most significant times memories had a direct affect on my body or how I viewed my body at the time. I do believe that these moments in history were where I learned to cope with things inappropriately and resorted to eating for one reason or another.
This certainly encourages me that I am not nuts! There are reasons that I struggle as I do. I don’t use this as an excuse for sin, but as a way of understanding myself and all that I must take to the Lord as I pray through my struggles to give God my eating.
Like Amanda, we too can take hold of God’s hand and experience His grace and healing. He will turn even painful things to purposeful things–in fact He is glorified in doing so. Pray that God will help you to see your part as he sees it–as redeemable. It is so comforting to know that God does not waste anything in our lives. He uses everything to shape and mold us into His likeness. Thin Within, page 168
God is going to show us His redemption of all the years the locusts have eaten. Rather than give up or throwing in the towel, let’s fix our eyes on Him again and look to Him for HIS solution, His will, His way.
If you haven’t been generating your list of God’s attributes and taking time to praise Him for His character, today is a great day to begin that practice again. I know I need to.
If you haven’t yet done the “Perfect Meal” exercise in chapter 15, try to fit that into your life today, too! Tell us about it here!
If we allow ourselves to be conscious of His presence in the rhythms of life, we won’t hesitate to include Him when we eat. Thin Within, page 153.
God has been working on me in a BIG way in my prayer life. There still seems to be a disconnect, but it is being worked on! Because of reading partway through the book, Soul Revolution, I set my timer on my watch to go off every hour. When it goes off, no matter what I am doing (well, most of the time), I try to reconnect with God. Sometimes it is a “Hi, Lord. Thank you for being constantly mindful of me.” Sometimes it is “I praise you for being Almighty King…” Sometimes it is “Thank you for stopping me before I made a bad choice” or “Lord, I confess that I am in sin in this moment and I choose to set my flesh aside in favor of your will over my own…”
It really makes a difference.
Obviously, sometimes I use the reminder to lift up a specific prayer need as well.
If I am in a conversation with someone, the reminder causes me to commit my words to Him.
Please know that I don’t believe for one minute this practice makes me some sort of “super Christian,” either! In fact, what it does is humble me as so often, my heart is SO far from the Lord when the reminder comes that it blows me away…I mean, if I am to pray without ceasing, then I wonder what about the other 59 minutes in each hour! Yikes! I have set my timer more frequently, but it seemed to get a bit laborious.
It is something else when I am in the midst of eating beyond satisfied and the timer goes off. :-/ God’s timing is impeccable!
Today I will do the favorite meal exercise that is on page 154 and 155. I hope you will do the same. Tell us here what you plan to do for your “Perfect Meal” and/or report what you experience. I would LOVE to hear about it. This is where the practical “rubber hits the road!”
I plan on buying some Chinese food at the local restaurant and bring it home to enjoy. I will be totally, 100% at a zero when I do this, will play some favorite soft music and make it a time of wonderful fellowship with the Lord, as well.
As long as we cling to things we have held on to for so long, we will never experience what God has for us.
Imagine a trapeze artist…he has to be willing to let go–with CONFIDENCE–to the bar that has been holding him, in order to sail with safety to the outstretched hands that await.
That which represents safety and security, must be released.
Last night at youth group :-), we were asked what God is asking us to let go of…what must be released to his hands in order to press on, to reach forward to lay a hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of us?
Please don’t think this is “all or nothing.” God will take our moment-by-moment (remember the marble jar illustration!) offerings to him. Let’s do that…in THIS moment, let us choose to release our hold on that which we *think* brings us security…and let’s fly…he waits to catch us in his strong, reliable arms…
I hope you got to watch the Mark Hall testimony. If you are someone that comments to this blog and don’t mind letting me know any input you have about that, I would sure appreciate it. Like if it didn’t seem relevant, was too long for you to want to view, that sort of thing. It helps me to get some feedback about blog contents.
My own thoughts about chapter 14 of Thin Within by Arthur and Judy Halliday….
This chapter reminds me personally of some of the things that God has been teaching me…It is time to return to that which He has led me to KNOW.
There is a lot of value in looking at my reactions and evaluating what is behind it. Barb Raveling refers in Freedom From Emotional Eating to “truth journaling.” In Search For Significance Robert McGee includes a process of the “Trip In.” These are similar ideas to what is shared in chapter 14.
In a nutshell, the idea found in chapter 14 of Thin Within and my interpretation of these other two resources is that what I believe will affect my actions. If I evaluate what I believe to see if truth or lie is at the heart of my belief, and then replace lies I believe with truth, I can experience some positive changes in my behavior in the moment…which can radically transform my life in the longer haul.
It is powerful stuff and really makes a difference.
This was illustrated for me a week or so ago. My son will be 17 (I can’t believe it!) on Thursday. He will have his driving test soon and drives whenever he can. We live in a small town and you have to drive a canyon road in order to get to “civilization.” Having him drive that road has added many a gray hair to my already whitening head. But really? He is a pretty good driver for a young buck, if I say so myself. 🙂
Last week, as he was driving through the canyon. In spite of driving well, a motorcycle law enforcement officer was following Daniel closely. This police officer or sheriff (whatever he was, I didn’t notice) wasn’t following Daniel because Daniel was doing anything wrong. The officer was doing what many people driving through the canyon do…pushing the person in front of him (Daniel). Frankly, the motorcycle cop was…tailgating!
Daniel pulled over as soon as he could (which is an issue on this road) in case the motorcycle cop wanted something…but no…the motorcycle blitzed on by. Daniel was beside himself. He didn’t want to drive any more. He did drive the rest of the way out of the canyon, but wanted me to drive after that. He was devastated. It turned out that Daniel believed that he had been driving badly because of the officer’s tailgating. This made Daniel afraid that we would have an accident…which made him want to no longer drive. (We have some maturity issues to deal with, certainly.)
No matter what I said or asked Daniel about what the FACTS indicated, because he believed a lie–that he was driving badly and could cause an accident–he couldn’t get over how he felt and what he thought he had to DO as a result.
God used this experience to show me that I do the same thing. Even my rant here at the blog Monday is a parallel to this situation.
Think about it…
Something that has happened to me…something real (like Daniel being followed too closely by the motorcycle cop). I have ascribed meaning to it that may not be accurate or reflect God’s truth, just like Daniel assumed that if a motorcycle cop was following closely it meant he was a bad driver and would have an accident.
I have then embraced that meaning as if it is truth, thus believing a lie. I have then clung to activity or inactivity based on my embracing this lie as truth, just as Daniel couldn’t stand driving after that–interestingly enough, as with Daniel, believing this lie could have actually affected his driving. Driving with less confidence can make him have difficulty making wise on-the-spot decisions! He could then be a poor driver, all because of what he believed–the LIE!
The results seen in my life are all based on believing a lie…believing this lie affects how I “drive” through my life.
I have to take a step back and choose to replace the LIE with God’s TRUTH.
Chapter 14 gives us an opportunity to do this practically. I hope you did this activity and actually wrote something in the blanks on pages 146 and 148.
What did you learn as you did?
Something that struck me on Monday…following my writing of my post about how I was feeling…I have been afraid that I would DIE if I waited on the Lord–that he would let me sit there in pain and I would suffer longer. I have been afraid to be still in my pain and to wait for him to come with healing. Therefore, I have filled up my life with too much busy-ness and returned to other coping mechanisms as well, as I shared on Monday.
You know what? This may be what happens…I may have to suffer longer…That IS truth in this! Case in point…
Jesus stayed two days where he was when he received word that Lazarus was sick. Jesus seemed to delay! Lazarus DID die.
If Jesus handles Lazarus like he does me, I MAY die as I wait for him. (Maybe not literally, as Lazarus did). But the TRUTH is that I MAY.
But…and this is the important part…if Jesus handles me as he did Lazarus, something greater is ahead as well…something that rocks my world (in a good way)…a resurrection.
So my fear…the lie I believe…that I will die and that will be the end of it and that is that…can be replaced by the truth that, yes, I may die, but Jesus can raise even the dead…and he does…I can bank on it.
God was glorified in that death and the following resurrection.
This gives me hope. That even if he allows me to feel such pain and even to “die,” that God will work an amazing revelation of himself through it…and be glorified. I am sure that if we were to ask Lazarus if he would trade the sickness and death for what he learned through the experience and the subsequent resurrection, he would probably say no. He probably loved getting to know Jesus all that much more…and Mary and Martha would likely concur!
For the record…no, I haven’t been binging. Nothing like that. Some of you have asked privately why I am drawn to food more now. Frankly, though I am drawn to food, I don’t find eating my primary “failure.” I am eating usually 0 to 5, but sometimes a bit before hunger and a bit more than I need. (Like 1 – 6.) Nothing blatantly “overeating.” Though…it is the small compromises that can get in there and be problematic (the “little foxes that spoil the vineyard!”).
The primary coping mechanisms that I have resorted to have been diet soda (again) and being overly busy. I am still the same size I was at the beginning of the summer.
My heart has had my biggest concern…and the lies I believe. These are changes in a direction I don’t want to go…
This link and clicking the title of this blog entry, will take you to Barb Raveling’s blog site for July 10th. There, she does some truth journaling. It is PERFECT timing! Have a look at how it works for Barb…it is a POWERFUL tool and VERY much related to chapter 14!!! Give it a try!
